[Copypasta] Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021
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GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyβ€˜re trading/Iβ€˜m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donβ€˜t exactly know whatβ€˜s going on, itβ€˜s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is β€žtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketβ€œ. They are β€žaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEβ€œ. They acted as if GME was some β€žchildish financial playgroundβ€œ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how β€žGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeβ€œ. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
November 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Albert Einsteinerino

twitchquotes: hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

LilZ

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–Œβ–“β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘ β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–€β–’β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing