That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
OJ Overdose
twitchquotes:
γ½ΰΌΌΚΜΩΝΚΜΰΌ½οΎ OJ α΄α΄ α΄Κα΄
α΄sα΄ γ½ΰΌΌΚΜΩΝΚΜΰΌ½οΎ
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Kripp
Mango Bay CoolCat
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ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ
ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ ππͺπ·π°πΈ ππͺπ
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Dota 2
GET THE PEPPER OFF
I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him.
Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more!
Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
You will never be Japanese
You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of natureβs perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually itβll be too much to bear - youβll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. Theyβll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
Weebs
Hey, Kripp! What's up man?
twitchquotes:
Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
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Kripp