[Copypasta] Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021
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More Copypastas

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

OkaygeBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡡⠔⠒⠒⠈⢽⣿⢋⠔⠋⠁⠈⠉⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢀⠊⠀⢠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⠇⠀⢸⣿⠦⡀⠀⠈⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⣾⠏⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣤⠇⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⡀⠀⠿⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⡦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣮ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢻⡘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⢷⣌⣉⣉⣩⠽⠛⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣀⠀⠀⠙⠲⠤⣭⡷⠶⠶⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠘⢦⣀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⢄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠋⢹⣟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠈⠳⢦⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⣁⣀⠠⠤⠤⣾⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠙⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠒⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠖⠒⢚⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡦⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠰⠶⠚⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠶⢤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⡔⠀⠀⢢⡀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⣹⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠿⠶⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⣩⡟⠁⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⢱⣤⣤⠃⠀⡶⠁⢀⣠⠶⠛⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡉⢹⡇⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⢀⡎⠀⠈⣤⡜⠀⠀⠉⢻⡦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⢹⠀⡟⠙⢿⣄⠀⣦⣀⣠⠔⠋⠙⣇⣸⠛⠛⠛⣻⣶⡄⠀⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⠁⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠤⠤⠬⠿⠥⠤⠤⠬⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠤⠤⠭⠥⠤⢤⣾⠟⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠸⣦⡴⠃⠀⣠⠶⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣄⢻⣇⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣾⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠜⠀⡄⠀⢠⡠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⢤⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Pepe

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

Creeper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀
September 2020
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