I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
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I hate Stuart Little
twitchquotes:
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite
twitchquotes:
𝓛𝓘𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 90 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓶𝓮? 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 69 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽. 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓝𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓘 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼. 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝔀𝓪𝓽, 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱.
twitch chat
Fortnite
xqcLook emote
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Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD
twitchquotes:
Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
twitch chat
Kripp