[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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xQc schnoze

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April 2019
xQcOW

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants

Welcome back to Watchmojo.com, where we tell you our Top 5 picks for why Pornhub is a rip-off of Spongebob Squarepants. Pornhub is a website for watching stuff that your parents don't like. However, this concept may be based on an episode of the animated series Spongebob Squarepants where the titular main character is watching a video of a flesh-colored anenome dancing, while Gary walks in, and so Spongebob quickly grabs the television's remote and changes the channel immediately. Plankton has once said a phrase while speaking about Spongebob, which is "You will be mine". Many fans suggest that Spongebob (who can't be gay because he is fucking genderless smh) is a homosexual, and while saying this he is referring to his brain, which is, in texture, much like a woman's reproductive organs. In the episode of the Spongebob Squarepants series "Face Freeze", one scene shows Spongebob and Patrick's head looking like male and female external genitalia, and later they sleep in the same tent. Later on, Sandy pulls out her dirty, sharp hands and rubs on Spongebob's face, which may have inspired most videos in Pornhub's "lesbian" category. If you count the scene beforehand, this may also be one of the heterosexual "blowjobs". Another scene of Plankton includes him speaking about the Krabby Patty's secret sauce, he utters, while sweating behind iron bars and inside Spongebob's head, "yes, Yes, YES! COME TO PAPA!". Another one, from the movie, is when he says "Daddy yes!". These may have inspired either BDSM, incest porn, or some hentai. Also, Patrick licks his ass. Many Pornhub videos have used fake Spongebobs as character. Sometimes gay, straight, or even hentai. Especially a video where the opening is horrendously remade version of the Spongebob Squarepants intro theme, and the main character is a black man with a yellow painted face, who decides to refer to himself as "Spongeknob Squarenuts". And now, time for our honorable mentions!!!!! a) in the season 5 episode, "Spy Buddies", Patrick constantly uses his butt laser. This inspired Squirting. b) Squidward mentions that Mr. Krabs' "weiner thing" will "blow up in his face. This enspired Cumming. c) Squidward has also used a vacuum cleaner to suck on his penis. This inspired Vibrators and Fleshlights. d) Spongebob uses both animation and live action in episodes, much like Pornhub has live-action and hentai.
June 2021

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020

Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment?

twitchquotes: Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment? I mean, yes, he is a colossal fake cunt, moneysucking parasite, and selfish prick. But he is one of the few representations of the gay community in Hearthstone.
twitch chat
June 2015

Hearthstone

KappaPride

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