[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Unimpressed Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠠⠤⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢤⡒⠉⠁⠀⠒⢂⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⣒⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⠾⠅⠈⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣀⣓⡀⠉⠀⠬⠕⢄⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢦⡀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄ ⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠙⡴⠁⠀⠀⠱⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠱⢄⡀⠀⢰⣁⣒⣒⣂⣰⣃⣀⣒⣒⣂⢣⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⡀⠀⠙⠀⢠⡇⠀⠛⠀⠀⣌⣀⡤⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡗⢄⣀⡠⠊⠈⢦⣀⣀⠔⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠊⠉⠁⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠤⠿⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠸⠒⣚⡩⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣙⠒⢴⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠉⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠈⠉⠓⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠛⠛
August 2021

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. 👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Copypasting tomfoolery

twitchquotes: Hello friends, I recently lost my job and am unemployed. Twitch chat has been my safe haven during this time. I come to this stream today and what do I see? Copypasting tomfoolery. Please, have respect for the intellectuals here and return to the days of glorious discussion in twitch chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing