I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
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Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Classic
Running dog
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βββββββββββββ²βββββββββ
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ββββββ²ββββββ²β±ββ°β³β³β³β―βββ
βββ±β²β±β²ββββββββββ°ββ―ββββ
ββββ²β²β±β±ββ±βββ²β²β²β²βββββββ
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Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary
My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him.
On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I donβt post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. Itβs also the first time Iβve received Reddit gold.
When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured Iβm all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. Heβs a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming.
But Reddit, itβs been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I donβt say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
δΉδΉγε°Ίε δΈε±±ε£δΉε£
twitchquotes:
In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say δΉδΉγε°Ίε δΈε±±ε£δΉε£ which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
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