[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018

Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad Iโ€™ve done nothing but think about her. I canโ€™t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. Iโ€™ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I canโ€™t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I canโ€™t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I canโ€™t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as Iโ€™ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this Iโ€™ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldnโ€™t want it any other way.
June 2021

That's some bad shit right there

twitchquotes: do NOT sign me the FUCK up ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€ bad shit baฬทฬถ ิ sHit ๐Ÿ‘Ž thats โŒ some bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Žshit right ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž th ๐Ÿ‘Ž ere ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž right โŒ there โŒ โŒ if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ†๐Ÿšซ i say so ๐Ÿšซ thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) mMMMMแŽทะœ ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽะO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽBad shit
twitch chat
April 2016

Paint me like one of your French grills.

twitchquotes: โˆ ( แ› ใ€โˆ )๏ผฟ Paint me like one of your French grills.
twitch chat
March 2016
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