[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now

twitchquotes: God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now. FeelsBadMan I want his scientist ape body all over me every day, it brings me to orgasmic relief that he could yell "OH YEAH" or "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" to me at anytime. moon2GASM If Activision Blizzard made Winston sexdolls I would buy them all for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Winston is so fucking smart, I want him to teach me science and I'll teach him about fetishes. Fuck I just want Winston to be real. FeelsBadMan 🔫
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Rob ford messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪᴛs ʀᴏʙ ғᴏʀᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏʀᴏɴᴛᴏ. ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜʀ ɢᴅᴘ ɪs ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀɪᴏᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴇᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀxᴘᴀʏᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴜᴘ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇ-ᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

twitchquotes: I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of PJSalt that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer BlessRNG
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Tʏʀᴏɴᴇ, ᴜʀ sᴏɴ. Mʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, Lᴀǫᴜɪsʜᴀ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Cᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ sᴀʏɪɴɢ "F*ᴄᴋ" ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ. Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғᴏʀ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ "RIP" ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ...ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ, Dᴀᴅ?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing