[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

gay brazilians

twitchquotes: Hi Bjergsen I am from Brazil and just like many brazilians, I am gay, and I would really like to have a bed time with you and listen to your cutie voice and perhaps do some coitus and engage and marry eachother. Our wedding would be in some favela of Rio de Janeiro. What do you think????????????
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

KappaPride

Minecraft creeper head v2

βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…
August 2021

Minecraft

Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG

twitchquotes: FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Years of research

twitchquotes: Yeah, I’m a smash player. Along with that I know many things that most don’t know about these communities. Melee isn’t part of the actual smash community and I’m not saying that because I don’t like them. I’m saying that based off of years of research.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing