[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Are you ready for my demolisher?

twitchquotes: Reynad moaned softly as Hyp3d pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Hyp3d. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you don’t have enough mana!" Hyp3d shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021

day in the life of a cs pro

day in the life of a cs pro: 1. wake up 6am 2. finish tournament at midnight 3. brush teeth and eat breakfast 4. Sleep while 1==1: loop()
May 2021

CSGO

My girlfriend’s dad is a banking exec (post on /r/cryptocurrency)

My girlfriend’s dad is a banking exec, I told him I’m all in on crypto He and I met yesterday. He is a kind and mild mannered guy who comes off as deeply intelligent. I asked him how he felt about decentralized finance and he said it was a risky venture (no surprise from his banking point of view) and anyone putting money into it is a fool. He seemed disappointed that his daughter’s boyfriend wanted to talk about crypto. For me, crypto has fundamentally changed my life - it has taught me about finance, geopolitics, and that I have the agency to live a life I wasn’t sure was possible. So, when he seemed disappointed, what did I do? I doubled down. I gave an impassioned speech about why cryptocurrency is changing the world and democratizing resources that traditionally only the wealthy had access to. It is giving poor communities a fighting chance and that it is revolutionary and something that is a big part of my investment strategy. I don’t know what the point of this post is, but I just, idk, he made me feel like a fool of an investor because he either just doesn’t get it or is scared of it and I feel like his view of me has become less favorable in terms of dating his daughter, but I’m going to stand up for what I believe in. Ramble over.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: OpieOP OpieOP Hello Cybrix, this is the Head Chef of Dominos™ we have noticed you haven’t ordered for 2 days, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a complementary pizza of your favourite type (XXL all-toppings pizza-topped pizza pizza-stuffed pizza crust). See you soon! OpieOP OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing