[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9

According to all known laws of TFT, there is no way a Soju should be able to fast 9 with this board. Its gold are too small, and its comp is not stable. The Soju, of course, goes fast 9 anyway because Soju doesn't care what humans think is a fast eif.
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Kripp is MY MAN

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp's Gay Greek Boyfriend, you piece of el dog shiterino. The Kripp is MY MAN. And you better back the fuck off. Plz no copy pasterino al pacino pistachio
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing