[Copypasta] its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 NOT PRESSING “SELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Trump captains Australian TSM division

twitchquotes: Today pro-gaming team TSM announced that their star Hearthstone player Jeffrey "Trump" Shih will be moving to Australia to captain their new division, AuTSM. Way to go Trump!
twitch chat
January 2015
Trump

Unfollowed on Twitch

⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣃⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣿⢸⡇⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣆⠄⠘⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⣷⣶⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
twitch chat
November 2015

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing