[Copypasta] Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Kripp paints and is one off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. click He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

STFU

⠀⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⡞⠻⠀⠛⢻⡟⠛⠀⡞⠉⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠳⢦⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⣀⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⣦⡼⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⢧⣀⡼⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠀
August 2021

I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

Mitochondrion is a double membrane-bound organelle

twitchquotes: The mitochondrion (plural mitochondria) is a double membrane-bound organelle found in all eukaryotic organisms. Some cells in some multicellular organisms may however lack them (for example, mature mammalian red blood cells). A number of unicellular organisms, such as microsporidia, parabasalids, and diplomonads, have also reduced or transformed their mitochondria into other structures. To date, only one eukaryote, Monocercomonoides, is known to have completely lost its mitochondria.
twitch chat
July 2017

Big eyes WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⣴⣾⣿⡟⠋⢁⣩⣭⣭⣭⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣯⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡍⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⣁⡀⠄⢹⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⡠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠈⠙⣿⣼⠄ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣷⡀⠄⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠛⣿⣿⣿⡄⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣍⣫⣭⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣻⣿⣿⣦⡉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⣎⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣾ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⣁⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⡀⠄⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣆⠉⢿⣿⡟⢃⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⠄⠠⣿⡄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠉⠍⠉⠻⠿⠯⠽⠛⠿⠈⠋⢠⣾⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣔⣲⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠒⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⡯⡓⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡉⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣀⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing