[Copypasta] Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Got my cans of spam for quarantine

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March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

G2 Esports

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⣾⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠂⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣦⡬⢙⠛⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⡋⢥⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣇⢸⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⢾⣿⡇⣸⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣟⠻⣿⣷⣦⡹⢏⣴⣾⣿⠏⢻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢀⡀⠹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠏⠵⣚⣾⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄ ⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⡸⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣖⣾⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣧⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⣩⣥⠆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⡿⠃⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⡇⣿⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⠘⢿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2020

League of Legends

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⡴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠐⠒⢒⡀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠒⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⢊⠥⢐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢑⠠⢉⠂⢀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠶⠛⣉⣩⣽⣟⠳⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⣻⣿⣯⣉⣙⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⢁⣤⣤⣤⣌⡁⠀⠛⠛⠉⣉⡍⠙⠛⠶⣤⠿⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠻⠶⠞⠛⠉⠩⣍⡉⠉⠋⠀⣈⣤⡤⠤⢤⣄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀ ⢰⡏⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⢀⣆⠉⠛⠓⠒⠖⠚⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠒⠒⠛⠛⠉⣰⣆⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠘⡇ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⢠⡴⣿⠉⠛⢶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠄⣶⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣘⠛⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⠶⠛⠉⣿⠷⠤⣸⠃⠀⢀⡟ ⠈⢷⡀⠄⠘⠀⠀⠸⣷⣄⡀⠈⣿⠛⠻⠶⢤⣄⣀⡻⠆⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠐⣛⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⣿⠀⣀⣠⣾⠇⠀⠀⠋⠠⢁⡾⠃ ⠀⠀⠙⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡙⠻⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠳⠶⠦⣴⠶⠶⠶⠛⠛⠋⢿⡀⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⠟⢉⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣤⣼⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣿⡀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢿⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⢿⡀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠷⣾⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣼⡷⠾⠋⢁⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣦⣉⠒⠬⣑⠂⢄⡉⠙⠛⠛⠶⠶⠶⠾⠷⠶⠚⠛⠛⠛⠉⣁⠤⢐⡨⠤⢒⣩⡴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣉⠀⠂⠥⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠠⠌⠂⢈⣡⡴⠖⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡴⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠳⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
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