[Copypasta] Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

NORMIES OUT

twitchquotes: PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko 👉 🚪 NORMIES OUT PunOko
twitch chat
April 2017

Weebs

Super Meat Boy

⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⣉⢉⣉⣉⣤⣬⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣈⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⢫⢷⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠟⡛⠛⠳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡤⠀⠉⢿⣿⡇⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣏⠈⣁⢤⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠄⣸⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣘⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⠇⣿⣧⡽⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⢛⡛⣛⣛⣛⣛⢛⡛⠿⣿⣿⣶⣷⣿⢻⣿⣇⠸ ⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣧⡠⣍⣿⣿⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⡅⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⢰ ⠇⣼⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣙⣻⠻⠻⠛⠿⣟⣉⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣋⣬⣤⣾ ⣇⠻⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⢠⣤⣤⣤⡄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⠛⣛⣉⣁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Noggin Clontith and Amogus

April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing