[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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I just smashed my TV because of the SPY

I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.
March 2022

WallStreetBets

AYAYAWeird

⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠄⣀⡿⠄⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠇⠄⢀⠃⠙⣿⣿ ⣤⠒⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢀⠊⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⣠⠤⠴⠶⠒⠶⠶⠤⠤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠃⠄⠂⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢎⠐⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠎⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡧⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠲⠦⣭⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠶⠄ ⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀ ⡇⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢊ ⢠⠄⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠁⠄⠄⣼ ⢸⠄⠈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿ ⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⢿⣷⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2019

Weebs

Ugandan Knuckles 2

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December 2018

Hello Forsen, I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national

twitchquotes: Hello Forsen I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national who is stuck in the US after Reynad refused to pay my airfare home. I need you and your stream to please help me get home to my wife and kid it has been 1 year since my departure and I very much would like to see them again. Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing