[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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July 2021

Section 420.69 of the dank meme tribunal

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I’m sorry, that copypastarino is illegal in chat use as dictated by section 420.69 of the dank meme tribunal. Those in violation of section 420.69 are subject to immediate donger removal. Thank you for your cooperation. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018

Squidward with boobs

⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⣭⣽⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠁⠈⠉⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⢴⣐⢦⠀⠀⠀⣴⡖⣦⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡔⣻⣭⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠦⣬⣟⢓⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣭⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⢻⣷⢻⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡏⣿⡟⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣼⣿⢸⣿⣿⠀
September 2020

The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed, his organs absolutely ravaged from years of veganism. He turns to his computer monitor for one last look at his beloved twitch chat only to see a bunch of weebs, emote spam and copy pasta. Tears fill his lifeless, vegan eyes. Rania is at his side as he draws on all his power to take his last breath and say the only enlightening words that come to mind.. "K"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp
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