[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: ๏ผญ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ผŒ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ‚๏ฝ“๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ผš ๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŽ๏ผญ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„๏ผŒ ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ„๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ— ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“๏ผŽ๏ผฒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ‹๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ— ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ•๏ฝ‚๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ“๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ผŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ•๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ–๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ“ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ“๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ผŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Leifman is awkward

twitchquotes: ๏ผท๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ‚๏ฝŒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‹๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ผŽ ๏ผฌ๏ฝ…๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ‹๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ‰๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie

twitchquotes: Do you losers get a joy out of having people press random numbers on their keyboard when you tell them to? Does it validate your pathetic life? This is why I hate twitch chat, bunch of anti-social weaboos pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie. How about you actually start a conversation with one another instead of being weird, yes I'm srs.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Space Invaders

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
September 2021

Tyler can you say geodude

twitchquotes: Hey tyler, can you raise your arms and say "geodude" 3 times. Thanks!
twitch chat
May 2016
Tyler1
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