[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE

twitchquotes: EU HAS ROMAN EMPIRE LUL IND HAS CHINESE EMPIRE LUL AFR HAS MAMLUKS EMPIRE LUL NA HAS MCDONALDS EMPIRE LUL
twitch chat
July 2019

EU vs NA

Lapras

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

I think you should rethink about your whole life

twitchquotes: Let me see if i understand this: people come to Twitch.tv to watch pro players or no life people stream and what do viewers do? they copy paste any brainless thing and feel good about it. I think you should rethink about your whole life.
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

coronaS

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ£«β Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ›β ›β ³β’Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ£›β‘½β Ώβ ›β Ÿβ‘Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£½β ‹β‘β’±β „β£€β£€β£€β£€β£β ¨β’»β‘…β β Œβ‘ˆβ Šβ’β ‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’β …β£¨β –β ‹β ‰β €β‘°β ¬β ©β ™β ²β’·β Άβ’–β ’β ’β’šβ‘»β Άβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£«β‘žβ’°β ‰β‘€β €β €β’”β£¨β ΄β ’β ‹β ‰β ‰β ‰β ™β “β’¦β‘¨β –β ’β šβ ›β ›β “β šβ Ώβ£Ÿβ£Ώ β‘Ώβ’»β ƒβ‘‡β’ˆβ ¦β£‘β –β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β£ β£Άβ£„β €β €β ƒβ €β €β €β €β’€β£΄β£¦β‘€β ˆβ’Ώ β —β‘ˆβ €β Šβ β €β£‰β£›β‘’β£„β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ šβ ƒβ €β£ β£‡β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β ‹β’€β£ β£Ύ β €β ‘β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β ‰β “β ―β’΅β£Άβ£Άβ£–β ’β£¬β‘­β žβ ‰β’‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β£‰β ‰β’β£·β£Ώβ£Ώ β ³β‘€β €β ‰β ’β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β ΄β šβ ‰β €β €β ™β “β’¦β‘Άβ Άβ’–β Ίβ£―β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£„β ˆβ’·β£„β €β ˆβ ³β£„β£ β €β €β €β €β’€β£₯⣀⣀⣠⣀⑀⠀⠀⠭⠁⠐⠒⠛Ⓙ⣿⣿ β‘ˆβ ‘β£¦β ˆβ ³β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β Ήβ£Ώ β ›β’¦β‘€β ‘β ¨β Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β£Ώ β €β ˆβ ™β’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώ β’₯⣄⣀①⠬⠲⠦⣀⣄⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠒⠿⒭⣿⣓⣲⠢⠢⠬⠭⠭⠿⠿⠢⠢⠢⣢③⒢⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ‹β ‰β ‰β €β €β ™β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Pepe

What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room

twitchquotes: What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room, behind my wooden pc watching a guy play a card game for children, probably earning my yearly salary in a week's time. All of my ambitions are now gone. Only thing that i have left is my old pc and a memory of who i once was...
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing