[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about semphis

twitchquotes: i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about semphis. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol
twitch chat
October 2016
Semphis

CSGO

Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama, i'm loving your stream but all this feeding is making USA looks like garbage, i'm sending my husband (BARACK OBAMA) to shut you down.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Falls Guys with boobs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⣩⣵⣶⣶⣏⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣴⡿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡔⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣇⣈⣿⣿⣤⣽⣧⢰⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣾⡙⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣮⣉⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄ ⣰⣿⣍⡩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣈⠙⢻⣿⣇⢹⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠶⠈⢛⣿⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠋⠉⣿⣿⠁⠙⠉⠄⣸⣿⣿⢸⣧⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠱⠾⠏ ⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡈⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣷⣭⠙⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⣛⣫⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠄⠰⠿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

NSFW

autism

twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

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