[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

twitchquotes: My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Red crew mate

๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Žโ€Ž โ€Ž๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ
ascii art
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Tuck me

twitchquotes: อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€tuck me ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ ใ€€ อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ
twitch chat
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Kripp

Imaqtpie washed up

twitchquotes: Last Saturday, I found Imaqtpie wet and unconscious on a beach. I quickly asked a lifeguard to watch over him while I get help. The lifeguard walks away muttering that he "doesnt watch washed up streamers".
twitch chat
May 2020
imaqtpie

Team Solo Mid

โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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January 2015

League of Legends

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