There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How to win any Internet argument
Raise your donger
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work it ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ harder make it (ง •̀_•́)ง better do it ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ faster raise ur ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ donger
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WildTurtle
Daily Airport Security Test!
twitchquotes:
✅ 🏻 🏼 🏽 🏾 🏿 🚫 Daily Airport Security Test! Can you pass? ⎝ 
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Navy Seals Copypasta in military alphabet
Whiskey hotel alpha tango tango hotel echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo delta india delta yankee oscar uniform juliett uniform sierra tango foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf sierra alpha yankee alpha bravo oscar uniform tango mike echo , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo bravo india tango charlie hotel ? i' lima lima hotel alpha victor echo yankee oscar uniform kilo november oscar whiskey i golf romeo alpha delta uniform alpha tango echo delta tango oscar papa oscar foxtrot mike yankee charlie lima alpha sierra sierra india november tango hotel echo n alpha victor yankee s echo alpha lima sierra , alpha november delta i' victor echo bravo echo echo november india november victor oscar lima victor echo delta india november november uniform mike echo romeo oscar uniform sierra sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango romeo alpha india delta sierra oscar november a lima dash q uniform alpha echo delta alpha , alpha november delta i hotel alpha victor echo oscar victor echo romeo three zero zero charlie oscar november foxtrot india romeo mike echo delta kilo india lima lima sierra. I alpha mike tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november golf oscar romeo india lima lima alpha whiskey alpha romeo foxtrot alpha romeo echo alpha november delta i' mike tango hotel echo tango oscar papa sierra november india papa echo romeo india november tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo us alpha romeo mike echo delta foxtrot oscar romeo charlie echo sierra. Y oscar uniform alpha romeo echo november oscar tango hotel india november golf tango oscar mike echo bravo uniform tango juliett uniform sierra tango alpha november oscar tango hotel echo romeo tango alpha romeo golf echo tango. 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Y oscar uniform tango hotel india november kilo yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november golf echo tango alpha whiskey alpha yankee whiskey india tango hotel sierra alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel alpha tango sierra hotel india tango tango oscar mike echo oscar victor echo romeo tango hotel echo i november tango echo romeo november echo tango ? t hotel india november kilo alpha golf alpha india november , foxtrot uniform charlie kilo echo romeo. A sierra whiskey echo sierra papa echo alpha kilo i alpha mike charlie oscar november tango alpha charlie tango india november golf mike yankee sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango november echo tango whiskey oscar romeo kilo oscar foxtrot sierra papa india echo sierra alpha charlie romeo oscar sierra sierra tango hotel echo usa alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform romeo ip india sierra bravo echo india november golf tango romeo alpha charlie echo delta romeo india golf hotel tango november oscar whiskey sierra oscar yankee oscar uniform bravo echo tango tango echo romeo papa romeo echo papa alpha romeo echo foxtrot oscar romeo tango hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike , mike alpha golf golf oscar tango. T hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike tango hotel alpha tango whiskey india papa echo sierra oscar uniform tango tango hotel echo papa alpha tango hotel echo tango india charlie lima india tango tango lima echo tango hotel india november golf yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha lima lima yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india foxtrot echo. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta. I charlie alpha november bravo echo alpha november yankee whiskey hotel echo romeo echo , alpha november yankee tango india mike echo , alpha november delta i charlie alpha november kilo india lima lima yankee oscar uniform india november oscar victor echo romeo sierra echo victor echo november hotel uniform november delta romeo echo delta whiskey alpha yankee sierra , alpha november delta tango hotel alpha tango ' sierra juliett uniform sierra tango whiskey india tango hotel mike yankee bravo alpha romeo echo hotel alpha november delta sierra. N oscar tango oscar november lima yankee alpha mike i echo xray tango echo november sierra india victor echo lima yankee tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november uniform november alpha romeo mike echo delta charlie oscar mike bravo alpha tango , bravo uniform tango i hotel alpha victor echo alpha charlie charlie echo sierra sierra tango oscar tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo alpha romeo sierra echo november alpha lima oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo u november india tango echo delta s tango alpha tango echo sierra m alpha romeo india november echo c oscar romeo papa sierra alpha november delta i whiskey india lima lima uniform sierra echo india tango tango oscar india tango sierra foxtrot uniform lima lima echo xray tango echo november tango tango oscar whiskey india papa echo yankee oscar uniform romeo mike india sierra echo romeo alpha bravo lima echo alpha sierra sierra oscar foxtrot foxtrot tango hotel echo foxtrot alpha charlie echo oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo charlie oscar november tango india november echo november tango , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo sierra hotel india tango. I foxtrot oscar november lima yankee yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo kilo november oscar whiskey november whiskey hotel alpha tango uniform november hotel oscar lima yankee romeo echo tango romeo india bravo uniform tango india oscar november yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india tango tango lima echo " charlie lima echo victor echo romeo " charlie oscar mike mike echo november tango whiskey alpha sierra alpha bravo oscar uniform tango tango oscar bravo romeo india november golf delta oscar whiskey november uniform papa oscar november yankee oscar uniform , mike alpha yankee bravo echo yankee oscar uniform whiskey oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo hotel echo lima delta yankee oscar uniform romeo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf tango oscar november golf uniform echo. B uniform tango yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta november ' tango , yankee oscar uniform delta india delta november ' tango , alpha november delta november oscar whiskey yankee oscar uniform ' romeo echo papa alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel echo papa romeo india charlie echo , yankee oscar uniform golf oscar delta delta alpha mike november india delta india oscar tango. I whiskey india lima lima sierra hotel india tango foxtrot uniform romeo yankee alpha lima lima oscar victor echo romeo yankee oscar uniform alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform whiskey india lima lima delta romeo oscar whiskey november india november india tango. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta delta oscar.
Navy Seal
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
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