[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Mocking SpongeBob

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April 2022

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting “make America great again” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
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December 2020

2020 US Election

PepeLMAO

⡿⣛⣵⣶⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣶⣌⢫⣿⢻⣿⡿⡶⠖⠒⠨⢸⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠆⢃⣾⣯⠮⠂⡒⢠⣠⢄⣙⠝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠖⢒⠭⠁⠠⠕⢸⢈⣥⣬⠁⠄⢂⢠⣾⣶⠆⣦⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠔⠠⠔⠒⠄⡨⣰⠆⢳⠾⢿⣭⣭⣶⠿⠟⠉⠄⠠⠻⣿⣮⢻⣿ ⣿⣷⠶⢒⡞⡱⡚⣠⣎⡁⠴⣊⣠⡆⣷⣿⡷⠖⣀⣠⣶⠶⠞⣁⡀⠄⠘⣿⣷⠹ ⣿⣿⣯⣴⡈⢞⢆⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⠟⣐⣭⣴⠶⢛⣫⣥⣶⣞⢿⣷⣻⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣶⢤⣍⡉⢡⢀⣰⠾⠟⡁⢴⣶⣹⣿⣷⡹⣿⣷⠻⠏⠄⡀⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⡟⣸⣿⡿⠋⡺⠠⡃⢀⣋⢥⣶⡻⣿⣯⢿⢷⣙⣿⣽⣰⣿⡏⣷⢰⡇⣼⣿⡇ ⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇⠄⠄⠻⣿⣧⢿⣷⡻⣿⣧⢿⣿⡾⣿⣧⣿⣧⡟⣼⣱⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⣧⠸⣄⠘⠻⣵⢻⣷⡽⣿⣏⣿⣷⠿⣛⣈⡍⣰⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠛⢷⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⠛⣓⣛⣉⣤⠴⠿⢛⣡⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⣌⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣴⡇ ⣶⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢓⣛⣩⡅⢰⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣒⠲⢾⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠟⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt?

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp can you stop it with all the salt? I was trapped in a salt mine for 3 days straight without any water or food. I only survived by drinking my own urine and eating my toes. Every time I see you spitting salt everywhere it gives me terrible PTSD flashbacks. Thanks.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

salty

Scamaz had struck again

twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad
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