[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Will twitch chat copy pasta anything?

twitchquotes: Will twitch chat copy pasta anything? I sometimes type up big paragraphs trying to be clever and pander to the type of humor that copypasters enjoy. I am beginning to wonder if that matters at all though, will they paste this even though I'm not being funny or referring to some 2015 hearthstone joke about some other dead HS streamer? I guess I'm about to find out.
twitch chat
August 2018

Here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) krippFist Hey Kripp, here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ go *** yourself Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

forsenpepE

⠄⣾⠟⢋⣉⣙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⣶⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⣿⣴⠟⣋⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠻⣿⣷ ⣿⠘⠋⠉⠉⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣥⣶⣶⣤⣍⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠘⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⣀⣀⣚⣛⣉⣥⡴⠾⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⡋⠄⠄⣀⠉⠛⠿⢿⠟⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⠛⠿⠟⢻⣿⣡⣴⡶⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡙⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣽⣿⠟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣿⣿⣮⣭⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠏⣁⣀⢔⠿⠋⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣰⣟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⠞⣉⣁⣉⣁⣈⡀⠘⠛⠛⠉⣤⣚⣛⣙⣋⣻⣇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣼⡟⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⢻⣀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡈⠻⢷⣤⣙⠒⠶⢤⣭⣭⣭⣭⠍⢉⣩⣾⡿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣈⡛⠻⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⣛⣉⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⠟⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠶⡶⢶⠲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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