[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Stay negative

twitchquotes: (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Stay negative _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kripp is a sellout (︶︹︺ ✿ ) Chat is retarded _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Kitty is dead (︶︹︺ ✿ ) _༼ຈ︹ຈ༽_ Life sucks (︶︹︺ ✿ )
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

Bikini cleavage

June 2021

NSFW

YOINK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⠟⢉⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⣠⣴⣶⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠐⠋⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⡾⠁⣠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⢿⣿⡿⠛⣿⡿⠟⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⠟⢻⣿⡿⠛⢻ ⣿⡄⠈⡿⠁⢰⣿⠀⢰⣷⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢰⡀⠹⠀⢸⣿⠀⠈⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢠⣷⡀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣀⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣉⣁⣴⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣹⣿
April 2019

DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL

twitchquotes: DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his “Everyone is trash” mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
March 2020
Doublelift

League of Legends

Fortnite represents life

twitchquotes: Fortnite represents life. We drop anywhere on the map, in the real world we drop out of a uterus. the battle royale is the struggle of life. and the loss is being arrested. the dub is killing everyone in the school successfully.
twitch chat
June 2019

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing