[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Four Asians streamed together in harmony...

twitchquotes: (`.´) Trump. (`.´) Amaz. (`.´) MaSsan. (`.´) Hafu. A few months ago the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Forsen's Snus Brotherhood attacked. Only (◉ل͟◉) Reynad, master of the Salt could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most - he was too busy complaining on stream. ( ͠°ل͟ ͠°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

xqcT

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠑⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠾⠷⠶⠶⠶⠒⠒⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⢠⠖⠲⠶⢶⣿⣶⡄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠖⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⠸⡏⠀⠀⠰⠀⣈⣿⠇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣴⣶⡿⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣴⣶⣶⣬⠻⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠘⢿⣿⣿⣷⠘⠿⣿⣯⣽⣾⣿⠿⠋⣉⣤⣴⣶⡆⢹⣿⣿⡆⠀ ⣀⠽⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣀⠀⠀⠈⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⣈⣉⠛⠁⠀ ⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣈⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⣀⣤⣶⣿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⡄⢹⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠸⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

Don't Care Ratio

dont care + didnt ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe copedon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + so bad + so ass
May 2022

Ratio

Who Asked?

Changing their username color so people don't notice

twitchquotes: There's 18,000 people watching stream right now, but there's literally the same 5 people posting the same *** constantly. All they do is change their username color so people don't notice. Such a shitty chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp Jong Un

twitchquotes: ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ It is me Kripp Jong Un. I demand that all showings of "Topdecking and Wrecking 3: Gripped and Kripped" be removed immediately. Those who refuse will be pepperonied ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing