[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

you can't chat. Its not a chat.

twitchquotes: Relatively new to twitch and I am confounded by twitch chat. It is just full of spam emojis. You can't ask questions, you can't have conversations, nothing. It all scrolls away so quickly to stupid face pics posted 15 times in a row.Its not really a chat. Chat involves atleast two people speaking to each other. This is just everyone spamming face emojis over and over again.What is the point of spamming the face emojis? It completely ruins chat; you can't chat. Its not a chat.
twitch chat
February 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Hey Nairo this is your cat

twitchquotes: Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
September 2018
NairoMK

Rick screaming

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠒⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠦⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠒⠚⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠒⠒⠶⠤⢄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠲⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡄⠀ ⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇ ⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠉⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠈⠓⠶⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⢄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀ ⣀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦ ⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠛⣻⣶⠢⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠘⢦⣀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠛⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠉⣳⢤⣀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠛⣧⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⠀⠈⠙⠲⣤⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠴⣾⡉⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣾⣷⠀⠉⠉⣽⡏⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣦⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣏⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀ ⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡞⠁⠀⠀⢻⡿⠏⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⡿⠋⠉⢿⡿⠃⠀⢀⣨⠿⠋⠀⠀⣴⠚ ⠀⠉⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⠦⣄⣼⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠸⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⠀⢀⣨⡧⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠏⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠢⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠒⠒⠛⠒⠲⠤⠤⠴⠧⠤⠤⠤⠤⠼⠖⠒⠒⠒⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⡴⠞⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⠖⠒⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Rick and Morty

Lenny face fabulous

⊂_ヽ   \\    \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)     ⌒ヽ    /   へ\    /  / \\    レ ノ   ヽ_つ   / /   / /|  ( (ヽ  | |、\  | 丿 \ ⌒)  | |  ) / `ノ )  Lノ (_/
December 2020

Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs. Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing