[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You subs are still plebs

twitchquotes: You subs are still plebs, in the eyes of the elite, everyone is a pleb. Just because you paid 5 dollars to watch free entertainment dosent mean you arent a pleb. I like how subs try to make themselves feel better by calling everyone else plebs, because they pay 5 dollars a month to spam stupid emotes and have a little icon next to their name.
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April 2017

plebs vs subs

THE ONLY WORLD RECORD NA OWNS

twitchquotes: LUL THE LUL ONLY LUL WORLD LUL RECORD LUL NA LUL OWNS LUL IS LUL LOSING LUL THE LUL QUICKEST LUL INTERNATIONNAL LUL BO5 LUL TO LUL EUROPE LUL
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July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

OMEGALUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣯⠭⠤⠬⣉⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⠈⠿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠙⢈⡩⠤⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⠤⣉⡉⠛⢯⡙⠻⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠄⠊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒⢄⡈⢢⣈⠻⣿⡆⠄⢠ ⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢄⠻⣦⣘⣷⠄⢸ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡈⢿⣿⠄⠘ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠸⡟⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⣸ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿ ⡇⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⠄⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠂⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⡙⢿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠞⠁⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⠾⠛⠁⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠋⢉⣁⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

copy: pastad

gamer head: on knuckles: cracked gaming goggles: on arms: stretched gamer girl pee: drinked girlfriend: none gay best friend: invited wife: beaten wife: cheated on daughter: abandoned child: destroyed your mom: fucked rockets: launched funding: secured anime: loved Japan: nuked HIV: positive blood: donated American genocide: denied milf: hunted milfs: lewded babies: yeeted emerald splash: deflated society: segregated Israel: destroyed heroin: shot milk: consumed mother: donuted father: robbed identity: hidden traitor: kakyoined Italian drug trade: monopolized masters: awaken Caeser: killed left wing: destroyed lib: owned hog: cranked pants: shid bottom: text top: text Hotel: Trivago Hotel: Mario Duke: Nukem cer: armic balls: crushed balls: ligma the imposter: sus sussy: balls Gucci: gang Delivery: Digiorno Peterbilt: gassed Half: life pog: gers Vaporeon: cool :) edit: spelling
August 2021
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