[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

We will not go quietly into the night!

twitchquotes: We will not go quietly into the night! WutFace We will not vanish without a fight! WutFace We’re going to live on! WutFace We’re going to survive! WutFace Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! WutFace BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE πŸ₯ WutFace _πŸ”ͺ
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌοΌοΌγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½γ€€ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½ο½„γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½Šο½…ο½ο½Œο½ο½•ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½ο½”γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Œο½…ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€β€˜β€˜ο½•ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½†ο½Œο½ο½—ο½’β€™β€™γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½“ο½ο½Œο½”γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½‡ο½ˆο½”οΌŒγ€€ο½ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½…γ€€ο½”ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½ο½…γ€€ο½ο½‡ο½ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆγ€€ο½Œο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½ο½ο½„ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½γ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½†ο½…γ€€οΌ¨ο½ο½†ο½•γ€€β™‘β™‘β™‘γ€€οΌ°ο½Œο½š no copy ο½ο½ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½Žο½ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½Žο½ο½ο½„ο½Œο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ bok ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½™ ο½‹ο½•ο½Žο½‡ ο½ο½ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I'm Kripp Harrison, and this is my Hearthstone stream

twitchquotes: I'm Kripp Harrison, and this is my Hearthstone stream. I work here with my dog and my wife, Rania the Succubus. Every arena run in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHAT my opponent is going to topdeck
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Rick Harrison

Hearthstone

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
May 2022

I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal action against the developers of Palworld

As a huge fan of Pokemon and someone who has played my fair share of video games, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal action against the developers of Palworld. In my opinion, what the developers have done is nothing short of blatant plagiarism. It is one thing to take inspiration from another artist's work and add one's own unique twist on it, but what Palworld has done goes far beyond that. The game's designs, including the creatures and their abilities, are almost identical to those of Pokemon. The overall feel and atmosphere of the game are also remarkably similar to Pokemon. It is as if the developers have taken the Pokemon world and simply given it a new name and coat of paint. It is important to note that this sort of plagiarism not only harms the gaming industry, but it also hurts the people who are genuinely creative and innovate within the industry. By allowing blatant copying of others' work to go unpunished, we send a message that original thought and creation are not valued. This, in turn, disincentivizes creativity and innovation in favor of simply taking ideas from others. Additionally, using a well-known brand and franchise like Pokemon without permission is a clear violation of intellectual property rights. By doing so, the developers of Palworld are profiting off of intellectual property that they do not own. This is a serious offense that can lead to negative legal consequences if Nintendo were to take legal action against them. In conclusion, I strongly support Nintendo in their potential legal actionagainst the developers of Palworld. Plagiarism has no place in the gaming industry, and allowing it to go unpunished sets a dangerous precedent that disincentivizes creativity and innovation. It is crucial that we protect intellectual property rights and reward those who are genuinely creative and innovative within the industry.
January 2024

Palworld

Text-to-Speech Playing