[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Kripp doesn't topdeck, cards just manifest in his hand

twitchquotes: Stop it guys, Kripp doesn't topdeck cards, they just manifest in his hand, only his opponents draw from the top of their decks Kappa
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February 2015
Kripp

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BionicBunion

░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▀▄░░░▀█▄▄▄░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░▄▄▄ ░░█░░▄▀▀▀▄▄█▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▒▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀░▒█ ░█░░▄▒▀▒▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▒▒░░░░░▄▀ ░▀▄▒▒▀▀▀▄▒▀▀▀▒▒▄▀▀▀▀▄▒▒▒▒░▒░▄▀ ░▄▄▀▒█▄▄▓▒░░░░▒█▄▄▄▓▄▀▒▒▒▒▒█ ▄▀▒▒░░░░▀▓▓▀░░▒▒░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▒▄ ▓▒░░░░░░▀▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▒▒▒▓▒▓░▓ ░▀▄▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▓▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▄▀▄▀
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patashu

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

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IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!

twitchquotes: IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER! ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ████████████]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... █████████████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable ☪I could never delete you Brother!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Mujahideen👪 who would give their lives for ﷲAllahﷲ Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you 🚫†✡🚫 3 back: you're off the martyr list☁️💦 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatly☪💦 10+ back: JANAHﷲ!ﷲ!💕💕☪👅👅
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Polish cow 2

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