[Copypasta] Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos create Biff Gatezos

Rub dicks together until cum, then swirl the cum into a frothy mix and inject frothy cum mixture into various surrogate mothers who are on fertility drugs, creating a high chance for twins, triplets, quintuplets, etc. Randomly transplant hearts and other organs between all babies to ensure no baby is 100% descendant of either Bill or Jeff. Let babies fight to the death until only one is left. He shall be named Biff Gatezos, overlord of Microzon. Using the combined financial prowess of his fathers, he shall be trained and upgraded to become superhuman in all aspects imaginable. There will never be another Biff Gatezos because Biff Gatezos is eternal. South-Korean baby foreskins will be used to ensure he never ages and therefore never dies. All the gods that have ever been will come down from their heavenly thrones to challenge Biff Gatezos but Biff Gatezos only need drop his trousers and reveal his mighty p***s to strike fear in the hearts of the gods and Satan himself. With a single swing of his mighty staff, Biff Gatezos will catapult the gods out of the universe and claim his rightful throne as Eternal God of Everything. Hope this clears things up.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

DJ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⣋⣉⡙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠮⡞⠁⠀⠈⢢⠷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢤⣇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢰⠙⠚⢧⣀⢀⣠⠞⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⡎⠀⣀⡤⠏⠉⠧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⢰⡵⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⣀⡠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢣⡀⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠙⢤⡈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠖⣒⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠷⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣺⣶⠖⠒⠓⢤⣹⠶⣒⠲⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠏⣞⣟⠉⠀⣖⠒⣲⠀⠀⠈⣳⠀⠀⡎⡞⠉⠀⣖⢒⣢⠀⠀⠈⡇⠹⡄⠀ ⢠⠏⠀⠘⠪⢅⣀⣀⠉⣀⣀⡠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠙⠮⣇⣀⣀⠉⣀⣀⡤⠖⠁⠀⠹⡄ ⡟⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠓⠛⠚⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⢻ ⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣸
January 2024

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

Somebody I used to know

twitchquotes: I hate when people quote songs in their spam... it reminds me of Somebody I Used to Know
twitch chat
March 2015

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..Reynad...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * Isn't salty ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing