[Copypasta] Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos create Biff Gatezos

Rub dicks together until cum, then swirl the cum into a frothy mix and inject frothy cum mixture into various surrogate mothers who are on fertility drugs, creating a high chance for twins, triplets, quintuplets, etc. Randomly transplant hearts and other organs between all babies to ensure no baby is 100% descendant of either Bill or Jeff. Let babies fight to the death until only one is left. He shall be named Biff Gatezos, overlord of Microzon. Using the combined financial prowess of his fathers, he shall be trained and upgraded to become superhuman in all aspects imaginable. There will never be another Biff Gatezos because Biff Gatezos is eternal. South-Korean baby foreskins will be used to ensure he never ages and therefore never dies. All the gods that have ever been will come down from their heavenly thrones to challenge Biff Gatezos but Biff Gatezos only need drop his trousers and reveal his mighty p***s to strike fear in the hearts of the gods and Satan himself. With a single swing of his mighty staff, Biff Gatezos will catapult the gods out of the universe and claim his rightful throne as Eternal God of Everything. Hope this clears things up.
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Pirate ship

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠤⠴⠶⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣷⠀⠀⠀⠸⠟⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠟⢹⣋⣀⡀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣠⣼⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠳⣤⣙⠟⠛⢻⠿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠉⠀⢸⠀⢀⣠⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣦⣼⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠿⢿⡿⠿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣼⣷⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡈⠉⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣸⣧⣠⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

I sexually identify as Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
twitch chat
August 2016

Rick Harrison

I sexually Identify as

Disgrace to all Morosans

twitchquotes: Octavian Morosan, this is your great great grandparrian, I am contacting you from beyond the grave to tell you that you are a disgrace to all Morosans because of your recent switch to being a casual. Pls no Maserati
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Dyrus thinks he's smart because of his eyes

twitchquotes: Ive had enough of dyrus , racist to blind people. All I wanted was him to read out his runes and masteries but nooooo he makes me go to lolnexus.. im fking blind why do u think i asked? u and ur eyes, You think ur smart just cus of ur eyes.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus
Text-to-Speech Playing