[Copypasta] Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos create Biff Gatezos

Rub dicks together until cum, then swirl the cum into a frothy mix and inject frothy cum mixture into various surrogate mothers who are on fertility drugs, creating a high chance for twins, triplets, quintuplets, etc. Randomly transplant hearts and other organs between all babies to ensure no baby is 100% descendant of either Bill or Jeff. Let babies fight to the death until only one is left. He shall be named Biff Gatezos, overlord of Microzon. Using the combined financial prowess of his fathers, he shall be trained and upgraded to become superhuman in all aspects imaginable. There will never be another Biff Gatezos because Biff Gatezos is eternal. South-Korean baby foreskins will be used to ensure he never ages and therefore never dies. All the gods that have ever been will come down from their heavenly thrones to challenge Biff Gatezos but Biff Gatezos only need drop his trousers and reveal his mighty p***s to strike fear in the hearts of the gods and Satan himself. With a single swing of his mighty staff, Biff Gatezos will catapult the gods out of the universe and claim his rightful throne as Eternal God of Everything. Hope this clears things up.
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

Joker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠂⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡅⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠈⠀⠉⠻⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠂⠀⠀⣿⡋⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⠓⣠⣶⣿⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡆⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⡤⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⠿⣿⣧⣿⣿⡿⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣷⣌⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠈⡉⢹⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣆⠈⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⡇ ⣿⡫⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⢢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋ ⣿⣁⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠬⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠠⠙
September 2019

Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019

VAPE NAYSH GO GREEN

twitchquotes: VapeNation NATURAL FLAVOURS VapeNation DANKEST MEMES VapeNation YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT VapeNation VAPE NAYSH GO GREEN VapeNation
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

VapeNation

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing