[Copypasta] France always loses wars to England?

You’re right, France does always lose wars to England. Except: The Norman invasion 1066. The Anglo-French War 1213-1214. Anglo-French War 1294-1303. War of Saint-Sardos 1324. Hundred Years’ War 1337-1453. War of the league of Cambrai 1512-1514. Italian War of 1542-46. The Rough Wooing 1543-1550. Italian War of 1551-59. English expedition to France 1562-1563. The Anglo-French War 1627-1629. Second Anglo-Dutch War 1665-1667. The Nine Years’ War 1688-1697. The American Revolutionary War. War of the French Revolution 1793-1802. Anglo-Spanish War 1796-1808. War of the First Coalition. War of the Second Coalition. War of the Third Coalition. War of the Fourth Coalition. And the War of the Fifth Coalition. But aside from all those England always beats France.
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Get Jousted

twitchquotes: ╰༼.◕ヮ◕.༽つ¤=[]———— Get Jousted
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch when suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Moments later, Ster (who was hiding behind the curtains) snuck up behind Jerma, and after a short struggle, Ster stole Jerma's hat, saying "I'm you now." Jerma died. At that point the camera footage was frozen, but it later returned to Ster pretending to be Jerma.
March 2022
Jerma985

Overwatch

Vegeta

█────▓▒█▓▒▒██░▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓──────── █────▓▒▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▒▒▓▓▒▓▒▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▒──────── █────▒▓▓▓▒░█▓▒▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▒▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓───────── █────▒▓▓▓░▒█▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓───────── █─────▓▓▓─░█▓▒▓▓▒▓█▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▓────────── █─────▓▓▒─░▓▓▒▓▓▒▓█▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░────────── █─────▓▓▒──▓▓▒▓▒▒▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒─────────── █─────▒▓───▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓────█─────── █──────█───▓▓▒▓▓▒██▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒───██───▓─── █──────▓───▓█▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓────█░──▒▓░── █──────░───░█▓▓▒▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▒───██───▓▓▒── █───────────█▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▒▓▓▓────█▓──▓▓▓░── █───────────█▓▓▒▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓──▓▓█▒─▒▓▓▓▒── █▒────▒─────▓▓▒▒▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓──▓▒██──▓▓▓▓▒── █─────▓─────░█▒▓▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓──▒▓█▓─▓▓▓▓▓▒── █──▓──▓▒─────█▓▒▓██▒▓▓▓▓▒─▓███▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▒── █▓─█──▒▓────▒▓█▓▒██▒▓▓▓▓──█▓▓███▓▒▓▓▓▒── ▓█─█──░▓░─▒█▓──█▓██▒▒▓▓▓─█─────▓█▓▒▓▓░── ▒█─▓───▓▒██─────███▒▓▓▓░██──────▒█▓▓▓░── ▒█░░▒──▒█▓──────▓██▓▒▓▒▓█────────██▒▓░── ▒▓█─█──▓█────────██▓▒▒░█▒─────────█▒▓─── ▒▓█─█──█──────────█▓▒▓▓█──────────█▓▓──▓ ─▓█▓▓──█──────────██─▒█▓──────────▓█▒──█ ─▒▓▓▒░▓▒───────────█▒▒█──────────▓▓█▒──█ ──▓▒─▒█────────────██▓█──────────█─█▓─▓─ ───▓─▓▓░▓──────────░██░──────────█░▓░─── ▓──▒─█─▓█───────────██───────────█▓▒▓─── █────▓─█▓────────────────────────██▒█─── █▓───█─█▓────────────────────────██─█──█ ─█───█▒█▒────────────▒───────────▓█─█──█ ─█░──▓▓█▒────────────▓────────────█─▒─██ ▓██──▓▓█─────────────▒────────────█─░─██ █─█▓─▓██─────────────▓───██───────▓▓▓─█▒ ▒──█▒─██────────▒█───█──▒█▓────────▓█▓▓█ ▒▓█─█─█──────────██──█──██──────▓█▓─██▓▒ ▓███─██─██▓▒─────▒██─▓─▓█▒────▒█─██─█▓█░ ▓▓─▓▒█▓─█▓─▓█▒────██─▓░██────▒█──██─█▓── ▒──█▒█▓─█▓───█▓────█▓▓▓█▓───▒█───██░█▓█─ ▓───▒▒█─██▓───▓▓───▓▓───────█──███─▓█─█▒ █───█▒█▒──██░───█───▓─────▒▓──▓██──████─ ██─▓██▓▓───█░▒█─▒█──██▒▓▓██─▓▓██───███── ▓█──████───██──█▒─▒▓██▒███▓▓─▓██──░█▓──█ ▒█▓─▒███▓───█────▓░██▓▓██▓█──██───█▓──▓█ ▓▓█░───██────█▓──██▒▓███▓▓──▓▓░█▓─█──▓█▓ ▓▓▓█▓───█▓──███▓▓██▓▒▓▓▒─▓▓▓█▓██▒─██████ ▓▓▓▓██░─▒█──▓▓███▓██▓───▓███▓░────█████▓ ▓▓▓▓██████▓───────▓█─██──▓░──────█████▒▒ ▓▓▓▒▓██████──────────█▓──────────███▓▒▒▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▒▓████─────────▓█░─▒────▒───██▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓██───▒─────█▓▓▓────█░─█▓█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒█░──█▓────▒██▓▓──▓█─█▓─█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██░─░█───▒▓─▒─▒──▓▒▓█──█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓─█▓─▒░──░──░▓▒───▒█──██▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██──██─────▒████───█──███▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██───██────░▒─────█▓▓████▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓────███────────█████████▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓██▓───▓███▒────▒███████████▓▒▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒█████████████████████████████▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██████████████████████████████▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒████████████████████████▓────▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒████████████████████▒────▒───▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒███████████████████▓░────▓██████ ▓▓▓▒▓▒▓███████████████████▓█▒─▓█████████ ▒▓▓▓▓███████▓███████████████─▓██████████ ▓██▒▓██████████████████████▒████████████
ascii art
September 2021

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing