[Copypasta] mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. ๐Ÿ’ฆ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019

Kripp's Sellout Castle

twitchquotes: It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

sellout

[This post is hidden]

twitchquotes: You must pay for the Social Media Package with your internet service provider to view this post. Package includes, but is not limited to: Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Reddit, Tumblr, and more. Offers start at $3.99 per month per household. Minimum one-year contract. Exclusions may apply. $15.99 activation fee per device. See site for details.
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

LilZ

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–Œโ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

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