[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโ€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโ€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโ€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are submissive and breedable

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are on your bed, and let's suppose that you are also submissive and breedable. Now, let's say you are a male. Statistically speaking, humans, that are submissive and breedable tend to be femboys, that's a fact (which doesn't about your feelings). Hypothetically under these circumstances, it would be statistically speaking uncontroversial to assume you would be wearing thigh highs (which would boost your breedability factor by about 20%). Now let's assume you are an SJW SOCIALIST LIBTARD, and let's say I was you, would it not be under these circumstances, the only correct course of action for you to take to ABSOLUTELY WRECK AND DESTROY me (in a debate) in bed?
April 2022

Ben Shapiro

Best in the west coming through

twitchquotes: โ™ฟ Make some room โ™ฟ Best in the west coming through โ™ฟ
twitch chat
August 2018

EU vs NA

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Big Chungus v2

๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐ŸŸง๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐ŸŸซ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐ŸŸฉ๐ŸŸฉ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ปโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ปโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโšชโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœ๐ŸŸฅโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšชโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโšชโšช๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโšชโšช๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ—ปโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ๐Ÿˆฏ
January 2022
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