[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A card game that requires an intense amount of skill

twitchquotes: Nice job kripp! You won at a card game that requires an intense amount of skill. I pray that my sons will be like you and win card games with the amount of skill that you win with! If not I'll sacrifice them to RNGesus and pray that they are decent and competent enough to be as incredible as you!
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020

CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Ugandan Knuckles 2

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠶⣿⣭⡧⡤⣤⣻⣛⣹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣊⣤⣶⣷⣶⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠸⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⡀⠘⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣯⣽⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠚⢛⣛⣃⢄⡁⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠚⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣷⡄⠊⠉⢻⣟⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠔⠒⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣙⠻⠿⠶⠒⠁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄ ⢿⠟⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⠷⣶⣶⣶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⢀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢨⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠻⠿⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⡇
December 2018

I want to become a hearth

twitchquotes: I want to become a hearth. I know there’re people out there just like me, but I’m different. On November 14th, I’m moving to Jamestown; home of the hearths. I’ve cut off my arms, and now light myself on fire everywhere I go as training. I'm not be a hearth yet, but if you give me a chance, I will become the greatest hearth.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing