[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

i play fortnite everyday, all day

twitchquotes: i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldn’t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you don’t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesn’t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you don’t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Fancy Schmancy F

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⢶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠀ ⢠⣾⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠈⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⡀ ⢺⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠇ ⠈⠛⠿⠶⠚⠋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡞⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⠟⠉⠙⢿⡟⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2019

Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity

twitchquotes: Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity. The closer you get to the mill horizon the more time expands, eventually becoming infinite. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Based on fucking what? BASED ON FUCKING WHAT?

Based on fucking what? BASED ON FUCKING WHAT? You fucking cunt, you motherfucker. All I read is "based based based cringe cringe based", can't you fucking come up with anything else? It feels as if I'm talking to people with fucking dementia or something and they keep repeating the same fucking words on loop. BASED ON FUCKING WHAT??? THE BIBLE? THE OXFORD DICTIONARY? MY HAIRY ASSHOLE? OH my God just shut the fuck up it's like you can't form a coherent sentence without using one of these saturated, retarded words that lost all meaning overtime. "BASED BASED BASED CRINGE CRINGE WOKE REDPILL CRINGE WOKE GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU CUNT YOU FUCking asshole you bitch you cunt little shit Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correlate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" on the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch
December 2021

Based

Which KogMaw playstyle is better?

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie, I've noticed in Korea they tend to use a mix of magic and physical damage on Kog Maw. Meanwhile you seem to be using mostly true damage. Which playstyle is better?
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing