So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
CLG needs the DongerKing
twitchquotes:
Dear Qtpie. This is MonteCristo. I just want to tell you that we would love to have you on CLG as our new top laner. You have the best ognTSMrototations that I have ever seen and even better mechanicanics than Faker. And your hair will give CLG new strength to win worlds. Please call me. CLG needs the DongerKing.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I sexually Identify as
It seems you've Eucked Fk0p
twitchquotes:
As Trump leads Mira into the bedroom, she thinks about how many viewers tucking Frump will get her. As they get in bed, Trump turns off the light. After a vigorous minute, Mira rolls off Trump. "Could you host my stream?" she asks. "Sure," replies Ek 
p. As Mira recoils in horror, Trump speaks from the door, "It seems you've Eucked Fk0p."
p. As Mira recoils in horror, Trump speaks from the door, "It seems you've Eucked Fk0p."
twitch chat
Trump
Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure
twitchquotes:
Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
Trollge emote smiling
⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⠿⢰⣿⣶⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡄⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠉⣉⣉⣩⣥⡶⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⡀⠀⢠⣿⠟⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣤⣤⣤⢰⣿⡦⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠀⠛⠛⠋⠈⠉⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⡆⣤⣤⣄⡄⢀⣀⣀⢀⣀⢀⡄⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⡋⣿⠏⠛⣃⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣠⣤⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁