[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Tyler1 breaks the rules

twitchquotes: Tyler1 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Draven? Tyler puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Bjergsen breaks records. Tyler fking 1 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer to be ALPHA. BigBrother
twitch chat
December 2016

League of Legends

Stalin

⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

WeebsOut

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⡇⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣴⣿⡇⢸⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⠧⠸⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣆⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⡷⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡴⠖⢢⠠⣭⣭⣥⣚⠼⣀⡚⠴⢡⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣌⢻⡿⣫⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣧⡸⠄⠹⣿⢿⣿⣇⠿⠛⢣⣞⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠓⡀⣿⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⢹⡿⡋⡀⠄⢬⡹⣷⢀⣀⣸⡇⢘⣿⣿⡇⢻⠘⠄ ⣿⣿⡋⠴⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠉⠹⠡⡟⣘⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡓⡘⡆⠄ ⠟⡟⠄⢀⡖⣨⢲⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣦⣭⣭⠭⣭⣭⡭⣭⣍⣭⡄⠄ ⢠⠇⠄⠈⠄⡥⠋⠄⠄⠙⠒⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠄⠩⣽⡇⠄ ⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠓⢤⡀⠄⠄⣸⠁⠚⠛⠛⠳⣖⢄⠄⠛⡃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⣄⣴⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣆⣬⡅⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⣠⣶⡴⡖⠁⠘⢷⠄
June 2021

Weebs

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021

Troll face 4

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⠶⠶⣶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⠶⠶⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣤⣄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢑⣤⣶⣶⣤⡢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣄⡂⠀⠀⠶⢄⠙⢷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠚⠉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⡀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠏⠀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⠀⢋⣾⠈⠙⣶⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⡀⠡⠼⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⢃⡴⢊⢽⣶⣤⣀⠀⠊⠉⠉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⢸⣁⣀⣉⣉⣉⡉⠀⠩⡡⠀⣩⣦⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡟⢡⠇⡞⢀⠆⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢀⠈⠂⠈⢁⡤⠚⡟⠉⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣍⠓⢆⢀⡠⢀⣨⣴⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣦⣤⡈⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⠉⣩⣤⣤⣤⣿⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠞⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣆⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠛⠛⣛⡛⠛⠛⣛⣋⡉⠉⣡⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠀⠀⠠⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⢧⡼⠉⠙⣆⡞⠁⠈⢹⣴⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡆⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣇⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠐⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠙⢎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠱⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⠟⢻⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢮⣦⡀⠂⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡄⢸⠀⠀⣇⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢶⣤⣄⡑⠄⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⠙⠻⢷⣶⣵⣞⣑⣒⣋⣉⣁⣻⣿⠿⠟⠱⠃⡸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣷⣄⡀⠐⠢⣄⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠙⠭⠭⠄⠒⠈⠀⠐⠁⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⢦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⡠⠄⣠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⣦⣤⣭⣤⣬⣭⣭⣴⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021
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