[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

64 is cool, Melee is too, Ultimate will suffice

twitchquotes: <3 64 IS COOL <3 MELEE IS TOO <3 ULTIMATE WILL SUFFICE <3 SO LET’S BE NICE <3
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Super Smash Bros

Clash Royale He He He Ha emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣛⡉⢹⢛⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⡆⠀⣿⣷⣬⣼⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣾⡿⠿⠿⠛⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠫⠶⠿⠟⣋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠏⠩⣭⣭⠉⠘⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⠤⠴⢯⣭⢤⠤⢄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠶⠬⢼⣸⣇⢠⠬⠼⠌⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣮⣅⣛⠻⠇⠿⢛⣃⣩⣴⠃⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠿⠟⠻⠟⣛⠻⢿⠿⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠲⠈⣭⣭⢩⣭⡴⠐⠀⠀⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Clash Royale

Keepo

█▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀█ █░▒▓█▄▄▀▀▀█▀▄▄▄█▓▒░█ ░█░▒▓▓▀▓▓▒▓▒▒▀▓▓▒░█░ ▄▀▄░▒▓▓▒▒▓▒▓▒▓▓▒░▄▀░ █▓█▒▒▓▒▓▓▓░░░░░▒▒█▄░ █▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▒░░░░░░░░▓█░ ▓▓▓▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░█░ ▓▓▓▓░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░▄█▄▀░ ░▀▄▓░░▒▀▓▓▒▒░░█▓▒▒░░ ▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▒▒█░ ░▀░▀░░░░░▒▒▀▄▄▒▀▒▒█░ ░░▀░░░░░░▒▄▄▒▄▄▄▒▒█░ ░░░▀▄▄▒▒░░░░▀▀▒▀██▄▄ ░░░░░▀█▄▒▒░░░░▒▄▀░░▀ ░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄▄▄▀░░░░
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PepeLaughYou

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Pepe

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