[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 2

So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Kripp forgot about shredder placement

twitchquotes: Pupparrian scampers excitedly as Kripp carries the new bird cage. "Here you go, Birdarrian," says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparian's joyful romping caused kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. "Oh no," gasps Kripp, "I forgot about shredder placement!"
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Cute / Satisfied cat

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Hey Doublelift, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco

twitchquotes: HEY DOUBLELIFT, I’M TRYING TO LEARN TO PLAY SHACO. I JUST HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE SKILL BUILD: SHOULD I MAX BACKSTAB LIKE YOU BACKSTABBED CLG, DECEIVE LIKE YOU DECEIVED CLG, OR HALLUCINATE LIKE YOU MADE CLG HALLUCINATE ABOUT HAVING A CHANCE AT WINNING ANOTHER TOURNAMENT
twitch chat
November 2015
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing