[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iā€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iā€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iā€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
https://www.reddit.com/r/Accounting/comments/nx1jli/fired_for_masturbating_on_a_zoom_call
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ascii art
July 2021

Jumping Mario

ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–„ā–„ā–„ā–’ā–„ā–„ā–„ā–’ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–€ā–€ā–“ā–“ā–“ā–€ā–ˆā–‘ā–‘ā–‘ā–ˆā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–€ā–“ā–“ā–„ā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–„ā–‘ā–ˆā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–ˆā–„ā–ˆā–€ā–‘ā–‘ā–„ā–‘ā–„ā–‘ā–ˆā–€ā–€ā–„ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–€ā–‘ā–ˆā–ˆā–„ā–‘ā–‘ā–€ā–‘ā–€ā–‘ā–€ā–„ā–“ā–ˆā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–€ā–„ā–‘ā–‘ā–€ā–‘ā–„ā–ˆā–„ā–„ā–‘ā–‘ā–„ā–ˆā–„ā–€ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–€ā–ˆā–„ā–„ā–‘ā–‘ā–€ā–€ā–€ā–ˆā–€ā–“ā–ˆā–’ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–€ā–“ā–“ā–“ā–€ā–ˆā–ˆā–€ā–€ā–ˆā–„ā–€ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–ˆā–“ā–“ā–„ā–€ā–€ā–€ā–„ā–ˆā–„ā–“ā–“ā–€ā–ˆā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–€ā–„ā–ˆā–‘ā–‘ā–‘ā–‘ā–‘ā–ˆā–€ā–€ā–„ā–„ā–€ā–ˆā–’ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–„ā–€ā–€ā–„ā–„ā–„ā–ˆā–ˆā–„ā–„ā–ˆā–€ā–“ā–“ā–ˆā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–ˆā–€ā–“ā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–ˆā–“ā–“ā–“ā–ˆā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–ˆā–“ā–“ā–ˆā–ˆā–€ā–€ā–€ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–€ā–„ā–„ā–ˆā–€ā–’ā–’ ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–€ā–€ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’ā–’
ascii art
November 2014

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

copy: pastad

gamer head: on knuckles: cracked gaming goggles: on arms: stretched gamer girl pee: drinked girlfriend: none gay best friend: invited wife: beaten wife: cheated on daughter: abandoned child: destroyed your mom: fucked rockets: launched funding: secured anime: loved Japan: nuked HIV: positive blood: donated American genocide: denied milf: hunted milfs: lewded babies: yeeted emerald splash: deflated society: segregated Israel: destroyed heroin: shot milk: consumed mother: donuted father: robbed identity: hidden traitor: kakyoined Italian drug trade: monopolized masters: awaken Caeser: killed left wing: destroyed lib: owned hog: cranked pants: shid bottom: text top: text Hotel: Trivago Hotel: Mario Duke: Nukem cer: armic balls: crushed balls: ligma the imposter: sus sussy: balls Gucci: gang Delivery: Digiorno Peterbilt: gassed Half: life pog: gers Vaporeon: cool :) edit: spelling
August 2021

didn't expect to queue into you this game

twitchquotes: oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me :) no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
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August 2019
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