[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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A single Dongerbill can save a life

twitchquotes: Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ Ω„ΝŸΰΊˆ ΰΌ½. For just one Dongerbill [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (β—‰_☒) ΰΌΌ ͝°ʖಠ ΰΌ½ ( Ν‘Β°Ω„Νœ ΒΊ) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²] can save a life.
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November 2014

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The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 Β°C or -460 Β°F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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I identify as a meme

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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January 2015

I sexually Identify as

bro i’m more japan than you

twitchquotes: bro are you disrespecting my japanese culture bro i’m more japan than all of you because i watch anime and you don’t, i bet you don’t even know what Naruto is you degenerate. So before you message me acting like you know my culture maybe check yourself first
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June 2019

Weebs

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Pokemon

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