[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Pika girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠤⢄⣀⡏⠉⠁⠒⠢⢷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠖⠚⡏⠉⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠠⢄⠀⠎⠁⠀⠰⣀⠀⠀⠄⠈⠙⠆⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠻⣧⡀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠀⣀⡤⠤⠖⡒⠿⠥⣄⡀⠀⢠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛⠁⢀⢴⡘⠰⡀⡦⡀⡍⠲⢄⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⡄⣠⣧⠎⠘⠁⠀⠣⠁⠱⡏⢆⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⢀⡇⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠬⣼⡀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠸⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⢸⢹⠄⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠉⢇⠀⣽⡄⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣏⢠⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢪⢷⣸⠀⣹⣴⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠉⢌⣄⠟⣤⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⡵⠋⣾⣻⢡⠃⡇⡆⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠘⠀⠀⠪⢴⢸⠙⠊⠉⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠯⠞⠁⠹⡹⠐⠀⠁⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⡰⠁⠙⢦⡀⠘⡄⠀⠑⠄⣀⢹⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡃⡇⡀⠀⠀⢀⠇ ⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀⠹⡘⡌⣢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠴⠚⠓⡇⡏⢀⣠⠔⠊⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠑⠒⠒⠒⢣⣩⣀⡞⠉⡽⢄⣀⣵⠛⢭⠑⡖⢲⣳⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠋⣻⠢⠀⠈⢇⠺⡘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠢⣄⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠝⣆⠀⠀⠸⡀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠠⠧⡤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠙⠀⠀⠀⢪⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠠⠴⢮⣁⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⠉⢢⣄⡀⠀⢸⠄⡇⠀⠀⡠⠋⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠑⢤⠎⠁⠀⠀⠙⠫⣍⠁⠀⡽⠒⠋⠀⠀⠀⠑⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠒⣼⣀⠠⡪⠭⠩⢔⠄⠑⡎⢀⠀⣀⠤⡀⠀⠀⠈⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠉⡠⠐⠛⠂⠤⠀⠀⠙⢄⠅⠀⠀⡠⠇⠓⠒⠓⡙⠀⠀⠑⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡇⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⣠⠤⠬⠮⠶⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⠴⠢⠬⠥⠀⠄⠍⠍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠈
March 2021

Weebs

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018

༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat

twitchquotes: ༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat, at midnight i will celebrate halloween by killing people who didn't Copy pastarino this message. Do it now or you will be dead at 00:00. Copy pastarino NOW or Rip in peperoni's.༼ つ _ ༽つ
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Do you have I even?

twitchquotes: You know how I can be found at a time when you are get to the day before my eyes and I love it so hard for you and you are so a good time waster but it was not the best same as a whole new bunch if it is the only way I am a little more of time
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing