[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Greekeroni Philosopheroni

twitchquotes: hey qtpie i'm a greekeroni philosopheroni and i want to share my toughts. so far for me KAPPA is god KAPPA is in everything so we are KAPPA we are god this is my philosopheroni pls no kapparoni papajohnny
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp wins Best Actor

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
April 2022

Fortnite default dance 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣿⠿⠛⣶ ⠤⣀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣤ ⠒⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⣀ ⠀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣉⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: ‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing