[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Ocean Man

twitchquotes: OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand βœ‹ lead me to the land that you understand πŸ™Œ 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the corner of the 🌎 globe is a real trip πŸ‘Œ 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a tan man πŸ‘³ imbibed by the sand πŸ‘ Soaking up the πŸ’¦ thirst of the land πŸ’―
twitch chat
September 2016

Emoji Pasta

A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

Obama

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆβ–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ– β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
April 2021

Can you guys stop spamming

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop spamming and actually type something relevant to the match. all of you just want attention
twitch chat
May 2018

Confused DrDisrespect

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β ‰β£‰β£€β£€β£ˆβ ‰β »β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ ›β β£ β£€β£€β£€β£„β ˆβ ‹β β  β£Ύβ‘Ώβ ›β ›β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „β „β „β  β£΄β£Άβ£¦β£€β‘€β ™β’Ώ β ƒβ’°β£Ώβ Ώβ ›β ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β£Ύβ‘Ώβ β „β ‚β ‚β „β ˜β ‰β ™β »β£Ώβ£¦β ˆ β£¦β£€β£€β£€β ˆβ’ β£Ώβ‘Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β β£ β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ β’  β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£ β£€β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β’€β£ˆβ ›β ‹β ‰β „β’ β£Ύ ⣿⣿⣿⑏⠄⒰⣿⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β‘ˆβ ‰β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β’‰β „β „β „β „β „β β ¦β‘˜β Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ£§β£€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ ˆβ „β „β „β „β’°β£„β „β  β „β „β „β’€β‘Œβ β „β „β „β£Ήβ Ÿβ‘β „β „β „β „β£Έβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⣿⣷⣦⑀⣾⣿⣷⒄⣀⣀⣠⣢⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⒠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻Ⓙ⠿Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⑍⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β ‰β ›β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣯⣉⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⣆⣼⣿⠲⠲⠢⒦⣄⑀⠻⑏⠄⠄⠰⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β  β „β „β „β »β’β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Άβ Ÿβ’ƒβ‘„β β „β „β Έβ£Ύβ‘Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β‘Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ‰β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β β šβ ‹β β „β „β „β „β ’β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE
Text-to-Speech Playing