[Copypasta] Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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July 2022

Wide Susie

███████████████████████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░███ ███████████████████████████░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░███ ████████████████████████░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░████ █████████████████████░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░████ ███████████████████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒░███ █████████████████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒░░░ ████████████████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ██████████████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▒▒░▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒░░ ████████████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒░░░░░░░░░██ ███████████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░████░█░▓░████░█░████ ███████████░▒▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓░█████ ███████████░▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████▓█████████░████ ██████████░░░▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒░██████████████████░░██ █████░░░░░▓▓░▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░███░█████████▓██▓███░█ ████░█████░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██░░░░░░░░░█████████░█ ████░█▓█▓░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░███░█ ████░█▓░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░██ █████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█████ █████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░▒▒▒░░████████ ██████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░▒▒░█████████ ███████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▓░░░██████████ ██████░▒▒▒▒▒░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░██████████ ███████░░▒░▒████▓▓▓▓▓░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░██████████ ████████░░███████▓░░░█░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░██████████ █████████░███▓█░░░▓░██░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░█████████ ██████████░██▓░░█░▓░██░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░█████████ ███████████░░░██░▓░███░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░████████ ████████████████░░░████░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░███████ ███████████████░▓░█████░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░██████ ██████████████░▓░░▓▓▓▓██░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░████ ██████████████░░█▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░███ █████████████░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▒░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░██ ████████████░▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░█████ ███████████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓█▓▒▒░██████████ ██████████░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒░░██████████ █▒▒▒███▒░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒░░░███░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▒████████ ▒░░░▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░███████░▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒███████ ▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████ ███░░░░░░░░░░███████████████████▒░░░░░░░██████ ███████░░░░███████████████████▒▒░░░░░░░░██████ █████████████████████████████▒░░░░░░██████████
October 2021

FeelsGoodMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠔⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⢼⡤⠔⠒⠀⠐⠒⠢⠌⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣒⠶⠤⠭⠭⢝⡢⣄⢤⣄⣒⡶⠶⣶⣢⡝⢿⣿ ⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠲⠮⢕⣽⠖⢩⠉⠙⣷⣶⣮⡍⢉⣴⠆⣭⢉⠑⣶⣮⣅⢻ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠒⠻⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⡿⠫⣿⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠭⣥⣀⣉⡩⡥⠴⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠁⣴⣾⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠓⠲⡤⠤⠖⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣽⣽⣛⣟⣻⠷⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⠾⠟⣯⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S 🍆🍌🌽 DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES 👬👬 of our nation 🇺🇸🇺🇸 George SLUTsington 👯👯, Benjamin SPANKlin👋🍑, John HanCOCK 🍆🌽💦💦💦 These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY 🗽👅🙀 Raise that ASS 🍑 to 💦💦 Abraham LinCUM 💦💦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson 😏🌲😉, Bill CLIT-on 👌👈, and the CUMmander in chief, 👦🍆👀BarCOCK Obama 👦🍆👀 Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE 👀😩 DICKlared war 🔫💣 on those CUMMIES 💦💂💂 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding 🔨that presidential PUSSY 🙀🙀 Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS 🍑🍑🍑
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Heaven is the highest you can get

twitchquotes: It's 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣today😳😱but I'm not smoking weed 🌿🍁😴😏🚬I'm smoking💨😜the Bible😇😋🙏🏼📕because heaven⬆️😍👐🏼😂is the highest you can get🙌🏼😤
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April 2017
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