[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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TriHard

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November 2014

coronaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠳⢿⣿⠟⣛⡽⠿⠛⠟⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠋⡏⢱⠄⣀⣀⣤⣀⣁⠨⢻⡅⠐⠌⡈⠊⢏⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠅⣨⠖⠋⠉⠀⡰⠬⠩⠙⠲⢷⠶⢖⠒⠒⢚⡻⠶⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡞⢰⠉⡀⠀⠀⢔⣨⠴⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓⢦⡨⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠓⠚⠿⣟⣿ ⡿⢻⠃⡇⢈⠦⣡⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⡀⠈⢿ ⠗⡈⠀⠊⠁⠀⣉⣛⡢⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠚⠃⠀⣠⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠋⢀⣠⣾ ⠀⠑⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠯⢵⣶⣶⣖⠒⣬⡭⠞⠉⢉⠉⠉⠉⣉⠉⢍⣷⣿⣿ ⠳⡀⠀⠉⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠙⠓⢦⡶⠶⢖⠺⣯⢿⣿⣿ ⣄⠈⢷⣄⠀⠈⠳⣄⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣥⣀⣀⣠⣀⡤⠤⠤⠭⠁⠐⠒⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⡈⠑⣦⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿ ⠛⢦⡀⠑⠨⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿ ⢥⣄⣀⡠⠬⠲⠦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠒⠿⢭⣿⣓⣲⠶⠶⠬⠭⠭⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Pepe

I'll be back when there is real spam

twitchquotes: You call this spam? I've seen better spam in Hafus chat. This is pathetic. I came to this stream expecting to see some real spam. I am dissapointed in the sad excuse for a chat. I'll be back when there is real spam.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

monke nft do not screenshot!!!!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣠⣴⡿⠋⢉⢙⠟⠛⠉⢿⣀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠊⢿⣿⡏⢠⣖⣉⢹⠀⣞⢀⡾⠋⡉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⠀⠨⠀⢸⣿⣧⣌⢙⣛⠛⠚⡟⣓⠄⠠⣡⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢷⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⡾⢟⡉⠀⠋⠛⣦⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⡤⠤⣤⣬⣙⠖⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣤⠈⠀⠳⡄⠀⡀⢙⣙⣿⣿⣨⣼⠾⢐⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⡀⡀⠈⠠⢧⡀⠘⢁⠀⢿⣿⡟⡍⠀⢸⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠆⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠙⠀⠈⠲⡆⠸⠌⠟⠘⠚⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Text-to-Speech Playing