[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream

twitchquotes: This is Gambit ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º( ͡° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

League of Legends

-_- emoji (expressionless face)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣫⢯⣗⣗⣗⣗⣗⡷⡽⣝⡯⣟⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢝⣞⣗⢷⡽⣽⣺⣳⢯⣾⣺⡽⣽⣳⢯⢯⢯⢯⢞⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢿⣕⡯⣟⣞⡾⣽⢽⣳⣟⣾⣻⣞⣷⣻⣽⣞⣯⢿⡽⣽⢽⢽⢵⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢯⣳⣳⢽⣳⢯⡯⣿⣽⣻⡾⣷⢿⣞⣿⣞⣷⣟⣾⢯⣯⢷⣻⡽⣳⢧⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣏⣗⢷⢽⡽⣞⣯⣿⣳⢟⣷⢿⣻⣽⣟⣾⣻⣾⣻⢾⢿⣞⣯⣷⣻⢽⣳⣝⣝⣿ ⣿⣺⣪⢿⢽⡽⣯⢷⡯⢐⠄⠄⣻⣟⣷⢿⣽⣻⡞⠠⡂⠄⢻⣗⣷⢯⣟⣞⡮⣖⣿ ⣿⡺⣺⢽⢯⣻⣽⢯⣧⠐⠐⡀⣺⣽⣾⢿⣽⣯⣇⢐⠠⠈⣼⣟⣾⣻⣺⣵⡻⡮⣿ ⣿⡺⡽⡽⡯⣷⣻⣻⣽⣾⣲⢾⣽⢷⣟⣿⣳⣯⡿⣶⢶⣽⣻⣾⣳⡯⣷⡳⣯⡳⣻ ⣿⡺⣝⡯⡿⡽⣞⣯⣷⢿⣽⢿⣽⢿⣽⢷⣟⣷⢿⣻⡿⣽⢷⣻⢾⣽⣳⢯⣗⢝⣿ ⣿⣝⣞⡽⡽⡯⣟⣷⠉⡁⠅⠡⠁⠅⠡⠁⠅⠡⢉⠨⠈⠌⡉⣿⢽⣞⣞⣗⡗⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⡼⣺⢽⢯⣟⣞⡷⡶⡾⡶⣷⢾⡶⣷⢾⣶⢶⣶⢷⡶⡾⣽⢽⣺⢞⡞⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣮⢯⣳⡳⡯⡯⣟⣟⣯⢿⡽⣯⣟⣿⣺⡯⣯⡯⣯⢿⢽⢽⡺⡹⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⡫⡯⡯⣗⣟⡾⣽⢽⣳⢯⢾⣺⢽⣳⢯⢯⢯⢏⢇⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣕⡳⡫⣗⢟⢾⣝⢯⢯⢻⢪⡫⣽⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2021

Kripp's skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is incredible

twitchquotes: Wow Kripp, your skill and knowledge of Hearthstone is truly incredible. Never before in the history of humankind has any person been as good as you are at this game, at this moment, with this deck, against this opponent. You will, you must win the game. There is nothing that can stop you now.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sad Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣙⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⡛⢋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣡⣶⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣿⢋⣼⣿⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠃⣾⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣼⣿⣷⣿⣽⠿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿⣷⡀⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⢃⣺⣿⣿⣿⢿⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣷⣄⠄⠈⠉ ⡼⣻⣿⣷⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⣇⣿⡿⣿⠏⣸⣎⣻⣟⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣼⢆⠻⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠋⠈⠉⠄⠉⠻⣽⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⡻⠋⠉⠄⠈⠑⠊⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⣰⠱⠿⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢶⠷⠄⠄⢄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠘⣤⣿⡀⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⡄⣸⣀⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣷⣌⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣋⣴⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣻⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⡿⠻⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹ ⠈⣿⡆⠻⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣭⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣼ ⣦⠘⣿⣄⠊⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠟
September 2020

Weebs

Rift Scuttler of fortune

twitchquotes: °ヽ༼ 益°ヽ ༽,, You've been visited by Rift Scuttler of fortune. Tingle your antennae and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year °ヽ༼ 益°ヽ ༽,,
twitch chat
February 2015
Bjergsen
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