Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK
YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE
|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
| KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@ ⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂⌒） NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!!
MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.
Weebs
Anime
LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist
LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist
Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel.
Thank you.
Cum bee
⣿⡟⠀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⣿
⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⠄⢠⣼⣟
⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠻⠶⢤⣀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⡦⠀⠀⠸⠉⠀⠉
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠷⣦⡈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠐⢠⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣶⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠁⠀⠀⠙⣶⣤⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠚⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠋⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠳⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⡀⠀⢀⠐⠒
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣮⣿⣿
⣀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿
⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣉⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠈⢿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣾⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢻⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢠⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿
⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿
Original Lollipoppy
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀
⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠺⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡋⠁⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠹⠛⣻⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠖⠀⠀⠈⠑⠤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⠃⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠇⠀⢀⣄⡈⠐⠤⡀⠃⠀⠀⠴⡛⠍⠙⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⡶⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⠀⠚⠁⣀⡈⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣫⣽⣶⣶⣮⠭⣛
⣦⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⡇⠀⡔⠛⠛⠃⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⠿⢛⣻⣏⣴⣿
⠻⢷⣤⣝⣿⣿⡇⢹⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠘⢻⠛⠛⠿⡆⠘⣛⣻⣿⣷
⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣧⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀⠷⠾⠮⠳⠤⠘⡻⢾⣭⡉⢣
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⡁⡀⠲⣶⣶⣯⡻⣾⣷⣭⣥⣮⢻
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠚⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠟⠉⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣶⣿⠿⢻⣯
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣿⠿⠇⠛⠋⣯⣧⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠚⠉⠉
League of Legends
Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, this is Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C .... I came to warn you about the extinction of Herbivores and the 'never lucky' curse it bestows on us. Kripp, you must eat meat immediately! If you don't, a giant "MEAT-EOR" will crash into earth and extinct us all... again... Us Herbivores were wrong. WE WERE WRONG! 
twitch chat
Kripp