Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
you are now manually breathing
twitchquotes:
you are now manually breathing you are now manually blinking you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched
you are now manually breathing you are now manually blinking you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched
twitch chat
Hey Arnold!
░░░░░░░░░▀█▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░░░
░░░░██▀▀░░░░░░░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀░░██▄▄░░░
░▄█▀░░░░░░░▀█▄░░░▀█░░░░░░▄█▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▄░
██▄▄░░░░░▄▄░░▀░░░░░█▄░▄░█▀░░░▄▀░░░░▄▀▀▀░
░░▄█▀░░░░░░▀░░░░░░░░████░░░░▀░░░░░░░▀▀▄░
▄█▄▄░░░▀▀▄░░▄▄█▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀█▄▄░▄▀▀▀░░░▄▄█
▀▀░▄▀░░░▄█▀▀█░░░░▄░░░░░▄▀▀▀█▀▀▄▄░░░██░░░
░░▀▀▀▀▄▄▀█▄█▀░░█▀░░░░░░░▀▄█▀░░░▀▄██▀▀░░░
░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄█░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄█░░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░█▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀█░░░▄▄▄███▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▀██▄▄▄██▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▄█▀░░░░░░▄▄▄░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░█░░██░░░░░░░░█░░█░░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░██▄██░░░░░░░░█▄▄▀▄▄█▀░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░███▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░▀███▄▄████▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░█████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
You call yourself rich?
twitchquotes:
You call yourself rich? Bro, I'm a Tier 3 subscriber to all the famous Twitch streamers, I don't use Notepad, I use Photoshop. I have all of the Adobe products and I wear Louis Vuitton on a daily basis. I donate $5000 to Pokimane every stream, talk to me again when you're rich.
twitch chat
Simps
Riven is the perfect champion
twitchquotes:
Riven is the perfect champion. With every 3rd Q cast she flips upside down ahd shows her panties to the 300 million active incel League of Legends players. The voice acting when she casts her ult is perfect for fellow spergs in need of voice ASMR assistance during masturbation, and to top it all off, the toes of her feet are exposed for the maximum pleasure per second (p/s) of gameplay. One of the greatest champions by Riot Games so far next to Braum.
twitch chat
League of Legends
there I was, finalizing my reddit post
twitchquotes:
there I was, finalizing my reddit post complaining about moonmoons RP, when I heard my mom call me for dinner. Chicken tendies, my favorite. Tonight was the night I was meeting her new boyfriend. I walked downstairs, ready to eat my tendies. I looked up at who was sitting at the table. It was HIM. Bald, small beady eyes, and smelled like cats. It was MoonMoon_OW. And he was fucking my mom. “Why would you do this to me?!” I screamed at my mother, and ran upstairs to make another reddit post
twitch chat
MOONMOON