Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!
Hey, Vsauce, Michael here! Down here. But which way is down? And how much does down weigh? Well, down weighs about 1/100 of a g/cm3 . It is light, and airy, which makes it a great source of insulation and buoyancy for waterbirds. But if you let go of down, it falls down. So that's which way down is, it's the direction that gravity is pulling everything. Now for someone on the other side of the Earth, my down is their up, but where are falling things going? Why do things fall? Are they being pushed or pulled? Or, is it because of TIME TRAVEL.
Mr I'm too dank to call or write my fans
twitchquotes:
dear mr im too dank to call or write my fans. this is the last meme ill ever send your ass. its been 6 months and still no accept. i dont deserve it? i know you got my last two friend requests i wrote the memes on em perfect. i love you cutie, we culdve been together think about it
twitch chat
imaqtpie
It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gamer house
twitchquotes:
It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gaymer house. Zachary “Sneaky” Scuderi dishes up a steaming plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. William “Meteos” Hartman looks up from his plate with a gleam in his eye. “I got the meat right here for you baby.” Lubing up with Marinara Sauce, Meteos begins to pound his sausage into sneaky’s lightly buttered dinner roll. With a scream of delight Meat-eos releases his load calling an end to another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
Sneaky
KappaPride
League of Legends
I miss the old no life Kripp
twitchquotes:
I miss the old no life Kripp. It's a shame a game like Hearthstone has turned him from the no life all day "hardcore gamer" to someone with a life and a girlfriends with tons of money. Kripp I will now unsub to you and pray for you that one day you will come back to what you once were and not the $$ making girl kissing gamer with a life, that is all
twitch chat
Kripp
ADVERTISING ACTIVATED
twitchquotes:
TWITCH OUTDATED STREAM OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE WAITED ADVERTISING ACTIVATED
TWITCH OUTDATED STREAM OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE WAITED ADVERTISING ACTIVATED
twitch chat