[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
August 2018

Qtpie plays Apex Legends

twitchquotes: qtpDANCE on me qtpDANCE hes one hit qtpDANCE hes lit qtpDANCE hes no armor qtpDANCE im fucking running qtpDANCE im dead as fuck qtpDANCE im far as fuck from you guys qtpDANCE im gigalooted qtpDANCE give me a real gun game qtpDANCE oh my god qtpDANCE im so fucking bad qtpDANCE oh shit qtpDANCE im fucking trolling qtpDANCE if anyone has a skullpiercer qtpDANCE
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

Professor Utonium

██████████████████████ ██████████████████████ █░░██████████████░░░██ █░░░░██████████░░░░███ █░░░░░░██████░░░░░████ █░░░░░░░███░░░░░░█████ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████ ██████░░░███████░░░███ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░██ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░███ █░▄▀▀███░░▄▀▀██▄░░░░░░░█ █░█─████░░█─████░░░░░░░█ █░█▄████░░█▄████░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░███ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░███░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░█░░█░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░█░█░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ██████████░░░░░░░░████ ───────█─██░░░░░░██──█ ───────█──███░░███───█ ───────█────████─────█ ───────█─────██──────█
September 2021

I hope Yuumi wins

twitchquotes: I hope Yuumi wins. I am a Yuumi main. I love cats, and my parents tell me I'm a parasite, so we have a lot in common. Yuumi might not be able to flash, but it lights up my life and heart. Go Yuumi!!!!!!
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: └( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST! └( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐ ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ loidW ✓ mitchW ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ taymooW ✓ PLEB TEST PASSED
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing