[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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NaM googly eyes

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣍⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡩⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢷⣝⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠉⠂⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠄⠂⠛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠸⣿⣼⡏⠁⠄⠘⢻⡛⢓⡛⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠏⠃⠄⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢻⣾⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣽⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠙⢉⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2019

The mighty DONGER

twitchquotes: DansGame ╱ He is faster ᕙ DansGame ╱ He is stronger ᕙ DansGame ╱ Who is he? ᕙ DansGame ╱ The mighty DONGER ᕙ DansGame
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

3Head

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡁⣤⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⣤⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⠛⠛⣿ ⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠹⠟⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢰⣶⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⢻⠟⠁⢠⠃⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⡀⢸⣇⣼⠉⠄⠙⠋⠉⠻⠿⣿⣛⠛⠛⢿⣧⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠘⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠄⣠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⢀⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠈⠹⣿⣶⣶⣤⣌⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

Paint me like one of your French grills.

twitchquotes: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ Paint me like one of your French grills.
twitch chat
March 2016

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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