[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.

June 2021

https://getindianews.com/who-is-samsung-girl-samsung-sam-virtual-assistant-characters-age-name-rule/

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

More Copypastas

How do you do, fellow homosexuals?

Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.

June 2019

Classic

Sylvester the Cat

──────────────────────▐▒█─────██──────── ─────────────────────▐▓─█──▐─▄███─────── ─────────────────────▐──███████▌──────── ─────────────────────▐─███████─█▌─────── ─────────────────────▐█████████▌──────── ─────────────────────██░░██████▌──────── ────────────█▀▀▀▀█──██░░░███░▐█───────── ──────────█▀▀█───▀▀███░░▐██░░██───────── ─────────█▀─────────██░░███░░█▌──▄────── ────────██────▀▀██───▀▀▀▀██░▐▌▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄── ───────██────────██▄████▄▀▀▀▀───────▀█▌─ ───────█─────────▐▀████████▄──────────█─ ───────█▄────────▐─███████████▀▀▀▀▄───▀▌ ─────▄▄─█▄───────▐─▀█████████▀▌───▌────█ ────██─█─█▄──▄▄──▐▄─▀███████▀─▌────────█ ────█──█──▀▀▀▀█▄──█▄──▀▀▀▀▀──██────────█ ───▐█──█▄──────▀██─▀▀▀▄▄▄─▄█▀▀▄────────█ ──▐▓██─█─────────▀█─────▀▀▀▄█▀▀█▄▄─────█ ─▐█──█─█▌─────────▀█─────██▀────▀▀█▄─█─█ ▄▀▀─▒▀█▓█▌─────────█────██─────────▀▀███ ▐──▒▀───▀█─────────█───██─────────────█─ ▐─▓▓─────▓▌───────▐█───██▄▄───────────── ▐─██────▄█▌──────▐█▌──██████▌─────────── ─▀█▀▀▀─▄█▌──────▐█▌──▒███████▌────────── ──▐───▄▌───────▐█▌───█████████▌───────── ──▐▄─██▌──────▐█▌────██████████───────── ───████──────██▌─█──▒███████████──────── ───████▒──▐████─▓▓──████████████▌─────── ───███████████▌─────█████████████─────── ───███████████──────█████▒███████▌────── ───██████████▌──────▒████▒─███████▌───── ───▓█████████────────█████──███████───── ────████████▌────────██████──██████───── ─────██▒───█─────────██████──██████▌──── ──────────▐▌──────────██████──█████▌──── ──────────█───────────███████─█████▌──── ─────────▐▌────────────████████████▌──── ─────────█▌────────────████──▓█████───── ─────────█──────────────██───────██───── ─────────█─────────────▐██▓█──────▌───── ────────▐▌─────────────█──▒▓──────█───── ────────▐▌────────────▐▓──────────█───── ─────────█─────────────█────▒────▓▌───── ─────────█▌────────────▐▓██████▓██▌───── ─────────██──────────────█████████────── ─────────██▒────────────██████████▌───── ─────────████──────────████████████───── ─────────█████▒───────█████████████───── ─────────████████▒─▒████████████████──── ─────────███████████████████████████▌─── ─────────████████████████████████████─── ──────────██████████████████████─████▌── ──────────▐▒███████████████████───████── ─────▐▀▀▀▀▒─█████████████████──────███▌─ ───▐██────▀▀▀███████████████──▄▄▄▄─▐██▌─ ──▐▀──▓───────────▀████▀────▀▀▀──▀█─▐██▌ ──█──█──────────────▒─────────────▌──██▌ ──███─────────────▄▄█▄────────────▌──▐█▌ ───▐███───────▄▀▀▀▀──▐▄▄▄────────▄█▌──█▌ ──────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀─────────▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀───▐▌

ascii art

September 2021

──────────────────────▐▒█─────██──────── ─────────────────────▐▓─█──▐─▄███─────── ─────────────────────▐──███████▌──────── ─────────────────────▐─███████─█▌─────── ─────────────────────▐█████████▌──────── ─────────────────────██░░██████▌──────── ────────────█▀▀▀▀█──██░░░███░▐█───────── ──────────█▀▀█───▀▀███░░▐██░░██───────── ─────────█▀─────────██░░███░░█▌──▄────── ────────██────▀▀██───▀▀▀▀██░▐▌▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄── ───────██────────██▄████▄▀▀▀▀───────▀█▌─ ───────█─────────▐▀████████▄──────────█─ ───────█▄────────▐─███████████▀▀▀▀▄───▀▌ ─────▄▄─█▄───────▐─▀█████████▀▌───▌────█ ────██─█─█▄──▄▄──▐▄─▀███████▀─▌────────█ ────█──█──▀▀▀▀█▄──█▄──▀▀▀▀▀──██────────█ ───▐█──█▄──────▀██─▀▀▀▄▄▄─▄█▀▀▄────────█ ──▐▓██─█─────────▀█─────▀▀▀▄█▀▀█▄▄─────█ ─▐█──█─█▌─────────▀█─────██▀────▀▀█▄─█─█ ▄▀▀─▒▀█▓█▌─────────█────██─────────▀▀███ ▐──▒▀───▀█─────────█───██─────────────█─ ▐─▓▓─────▓▌───────▐█───██▄▄───────────── ▐─██────▄█▌──────▐█▌──██████▌─────────── ─▀█▀▀▀─▄█▌──────▐█▌──▒███████▌────────── ──▐───▄▌───────▐█▌───█████████▌───────── ──▐▄─██▌──────▐█▌────██████████───────── ───████──────██▌─█──▒███████████──────── ───████▒──▐████─▓▓──████████████▌─────── ───███████████▌─────█████████████─────── ───███████████──────█████▒███████▌────── ───██████████▌──────▒████▒─███████▌───── ───▓█████████────────█████──███████───── ────████████▌────────██████──██████───── ─────██▒───█─────────██████──██████▌──── ──────────▐▌──────────██████──█████▌──── ──────────█───────────███████─█████▌──── ─────────▐▌────────────████████████▌──── ─────────█▌────────────████──▓█████───── ─────────█──────────────██───────██───── ─────────█─────────────▐██▓█──────▌───── ────────▐▌─────────────█──▒▓──────█───── ────────▐▌────────────▐▓──────────█───── ─────────█─────────────█────▒────▓▌───── ─────────█▌────────────▐▓██████▓██▌───── ─────────██──────────────█████████────── ─────────██▒────────────██████████▌───── ─────────████──────────████████████───── ─────────█████▒───────█████████████───── ─────────████████▒─▒████████████████──── ─────────███████████████████████████▌─── ─────────████████████████████████████─── ──────────██████████████████████─████▌── ──────────▐▒███████████████████───████── ─────▐▀▀▀▀▒─█████████████████──────███▌─ ───▐██────▀▀▀███████████████──▄▄▄▄─▐██▌─ ──▐▀──▓───────────▀████▀────▀▀▀──▀█─▐██▌ ──█──█──────────────▒─────────────▌──██▌ ──███─────────────▄▄█▄────────────▌──▐█▌ ───▐███───────▄▀▀▀▀──▐▄▄▄────────▄█▌──█▌ ──────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀─────────▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀───▐▌

twitch emotes in non-twitch chats

twitchquotes: Is it just me, or do people who say twitch emotes out loud or type twitch emotes in non-twitch chats are super cringe worthy? The whole idea of saying twitch emotes out loud or typing them out rather than just doing the action that the emote describes is just dumb to me. Instead of saying/typing "Kappa", why not type "lol" or actually laugh like a normal person.

twitch chat

July 2019

I sexually Identify as TheLegend27

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.

twitch chat

January 2017

I sexually Identify as

This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.

twitch chat

June 2020

More Copypastas

Text-to-Speech Playing