Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Cock and ball torture
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
NSFW
happE
⡿⡿⠟⠓⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣬⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣟⣱⡿⠿⠿⠿⣮⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢿⣿⡿⢁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣬⣉⣙⠋⠛⠿⢿⣿
⣟⣛⣡⣤⣤⣁⣀⣄⣉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⡿⠻⠛⠭⠿⡿⠯⣭⣟⡻⢿⣶⣦⣀⢙
⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⣛⣛⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⢇⣨⢶⣿⣶⡾⢶⣶⡶⢤⣤⣤⣀⠟⢉⣛⣓
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⡻⣮⣵
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠿⣆⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢋⣀⣒⣀⣐⣫⡍⠛⠿⠪⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⢏⠀⣿⣏⣠⣽⣍⣍⣡⣾⣿⣿⣟⣋⣋⣓⣓⣼⣥⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡌⢦⢻⣮⡁⣼⣿⢭⣭⣉⣭⣭⣭⣉⣭⢛⡉⣛⢛⡛⠛⣠⡌⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿
⣙⢿⣿⡜⣿⣿⣷⡹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⢃⣴⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⡗⠦⣀⣀⢀⠐⠒⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢏⣾⢏⢽⣻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠈⠙⣾⣏⢧⣼⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⡋⠿⣾⣿⣿⣾
⢿⣿⣿⠐⠄⠺⣿⣾⢟⣻⣿⣿⣛⡿⠿⢿⣾⣟⣭⡾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣾⡻⣿⠿⠛
⠀⡹⣿⡆⠈⣠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⢖⠝⠁⡳⣾⣾
Forsen
Emote
Pikachu
⠸⣷⣦⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠙⣿⡄⠈⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠊⠉⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣄⠀⡈⠒⠊⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠑⠚⠀⠀⣀⠔⢊⣠⠤⠒⠊⠉⠀⡜
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⡔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢤⣄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠹⠿⠟⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⣇⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠒⠊⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠰⠤⠖⠦⠴⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⡿⠛⢄⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⠓⠦⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡠⠴⠊⠹⡞⣁⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢶⣗⠧⡀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⣸⢤⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣦⣈⣧⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣼⡀⣨⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠓⠄⠤⠘⠉⠙⠤⢀⠾⠿⣿⠟⠋
Pokemon
I cannot get over how much Kripp complains
twitchquotes:
I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he doesn't get extremely lucky. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to do well or draft effective cards. We are all just guests who play in Kripp's world of hearthstone. To suggest that you are better than Kripp must simply mean that you have better RNG. What an arrogant failure of a man
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!
twitchquotes:
☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”
twitch chat