Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Female Amogus Crewmate v2
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Among Us / Amogus
I think Kogmaw would be perfect for your playstyle
twitchquotes:
Hey imaqtpie, there's a new champ named kogmaw who I think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after he's been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
It's seen as a bit of skillfull fun
twitchquotes:
When Kripp gets a good topdeck, its seen as a bit of skillful fun. BUT when his opponent topdecks precisely the only card that can beat him, and there's nothing Kripp can do, together with a CRAZY deck that his deck can't win against, hes called lucky?
twitch chat
Kripp
I heard-a you-a guys-a like-a da pasta!
twitchquotes:
(° ~͜ʖ~ °)I heard-a you-a guys-a like-a da pasta!(° ~͜ʖ~ °)
twitch chat
Trick2g
lethal
twitchquotes:
Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
Kripp