Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
👻BOO! Srry did I scare you?
twitchquotes:
👻👻👻BOO! Srry did I scare you???😂😂😂 it's October 🎃👻💀👽😈🌑 you know what that means 😏😏 SLUT-O-WEEN 👯 send this to 10 of your 10 sluttiest ghost bitches 😝😝 if you get 5 back you're a slutty witch but if you get 10 ur the spookiest bitch on the block🎃👯🔥💀👻
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Ram Ranch lyrics
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
Rooster
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Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English
Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed!
Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
Navy Seal
Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked (7-11 diapers)
twitchquotes:
I’m telling you, Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bunny hopped out the door
twitch chat
Hiko