Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Response to a your mom joke
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
Bike
░░░░░░░░▄██░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░▄████░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▄██░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░▄████░░░░░░░░
░░░░░▄▄▄██░████░░░░░░░
░░░░░███░░░▄████░░░░░░
░░░░░▄███▓█████░░░░░░░
░░▄▄▄███▄░█████░▄▄▄▄░░
░██░▓████████████░░██░
██░▄█░▄█░░█████████░▄█
██░░░░▄█░░░░░░██░░░░▄█
░██▄▄▄█░░░░░░░░██▄▄▄█░
░░░▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
When RICK talk, my hand automatically go to my ears
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒ I C K Ｔaｌｋ， Ｍｙ Ｈａｎｄ Ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ Ｇｏ Ｔｏ Ｍｙ Ｅａｒｓ． Ｉ Ｈｅａｒ Ｉｇｎｏｒａｎｃｅ Ｉｎ Ｅｖｅｒｙ Ｓｅｎｔｅｎｃｅ Ａｎｄ Ｆｅｅｌ Ｌｉｋｅ Ｉ＇ｍ Ｈａｖｉｎｇ Ａｎ Ａｎｅｕｒｙｓｍ． Ａｌｌ Ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｓｈｕｔ Ｔｈｅ Ｆｕｃｋ Ｕｐ
twitch chat
Kripp
Now I remember why I fell asl...
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Mill Druid. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
twitch chat
Kripp
the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful
the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful
I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.
Jerma985