[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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Spam this until you're banned

twitchquotes: gachiGASM SPAM gachiGASM THIS gachiGASM UNTIL gachiGASM YOU'RE gachiGASM BANNED gachiGASM
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

I am... the Kripp

twitchquotes: My name is Octavian Morosan, and I am the saltiest man alive. To the outside world, I'm an ordinary vegan, but secretly, with the help of my friends at P.E.T.A. Labs, I play childrens card games and find other babies like me. I BM'd the man who killed my mother, but in doing so, I opened up our world to new threats. And I am the only one salty enough to complain about going second. them. I am... The Kripp!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Kripp is MY MAN

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp's Gay Greek Boyfriend, you piece of el dog shiterino. The Kripp is MY MAN. And you better back the fuck off. Plz no copy pasterino al pacino pistachio
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Fortnite default dance 3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⠶⠀⠀⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣶⣤⣤⠿⠶⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿ ⠿⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⠤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

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