Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
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Kermit the frog caused 9/11
Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
Flex your Dongers for Harambe
twitchquotes:
ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ Flex your Dongers for Harambe! ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ Flex your Dongers for Harambe! ᕦ༼༎ຶ_༎ຶ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
Harambe
Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitchquotes:
My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
Kripp
Lenny face fabulous
⊂_ヽ
＼＼
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
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/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼
| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
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`ノ ) Lﾉ
(_／
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