[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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GIFF 2GD

twitchquotes: つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
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February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

Troll face 3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠾⠿⠿⠿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⡷⠶⠶⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠛⠉⣉⣩⣤⡴⠦⠭⠥⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⠀⢀⣀⠈⠑⠢⢀⠑⠀⠀⠙⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠁⣠⡢⠔⢫⠞⣉⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠄⠠⠀⠀⠐⡠⢂⡴⠶⠦⢴⡊⠙⠒⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⡠⢊⡫⡀⢀⣤⣞⣡⣼⣿⣦⠀⠐⠉⠱⡤⢢⠦⠀⠀⣰⠋⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⣰⠁⠠⠪⠿⣟⠩⠉⠀⠀⠈⢻⡧⠄⣴⠞⠁⣣⠖⠀⢰⣧⠞⠁⠀⠠⠍⡻⣼⡆⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡾⠟⣽⢋⡒⠦⡢⠐⠀⠄⠒⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⡍⠀⠐⠉⣉⣗⠦⣄⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⣾⠋⠀⢸⠇⢹⠟⢦⣄⡀⠄⠀⠀⠉⠁⣰⠶⢖⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢦⣤⣝⠓⠒⠒⠊⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣴⠞⠋⣽⢻⠱⡈⢳⡈⢯⠻⣦⠀ ⣿⠀⡆⠸⣆⢸⡦⡄⠉⠛⠶⣬⣔⡀⠘⠁⢸⡏⠁⠀⠀⠶⢦⣤⡀⠈⡇⠈⠳⠄⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⠥⣄⣼⠃⡌⠀⢳⠀⢳⠸⡄⠘⣧ ⣿⡀⡇⠀⠈⠷⣇⡗⣦⣠⡀⠈⠙⠛⡿⠶⠾⢿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣀⣀⣁⣀⣁⣀⣠⣤⣿⠿⠟⠛⣉⣀⡏⢀⡿⠁⠰⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣿ ⠘⣷⡁⢀⢸⠀⣿⠀⡟⠀⣷⠋⢳⡾⠙⢷⡀⠀⣠⠤⣌⠉⠉⣉⣭⣍⠉⣩⠭⢤⣀⡴⠚⢲⡇⠀⣿⠏⠀⠠⠃⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠁⣼⠏ ⠀⠘⣷⢸⠈⡆⣿⣿⣁⢀⠏⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢻⣾⠁⠀⠈⢳⣴⠏⠀⠹⣶⠇⠀⠀⢹⡀⣀⣼⣷⡾⠃⢠⠀⢀⠄⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⣀⣼⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣼⠃⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣿⣧⣀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠄⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣧⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⠞⠁⡰⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⡐⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⡟⢀⡟⠀⣿⠋⢻⡿⠻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⡔⠁⠠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠌⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⠃⡄⢹⣿⡙⢇⣠⡇⠀⣸⠁⢠⠇⠀⢹⠃⢠⠛⠙⡏⠉⣇⣼⠿⢃⡴⠋⠀⠐⠁⠔⠀⠐⠁⣠⣢⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⡇⠸⡿⢷⣄⡀⠙⠒⠳⡤⠼⣄⣀⢼⣀⢾⣀⣸⣶⡾⠟⣁⡴⠋⢀⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠻⡄⠉⠠⡉⠙⠳⠶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠖⠫⠕⠒⠈⠀⢀⣤⣴⡶⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠈⠉⠠⠌⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠄⠂⠠⠤⠤⠴⠊⠁⣀⣴⡾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣑⠒⠤⣅⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠶⠶⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⠶⠶⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

Fortnite

Am I The Asshole?

Moments later the mine explodes

twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves

⡿⡿⣻⢿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠊⠌⠌⠌⠂⠊⠄⠂⠙⠿⠻⡻⠻⢛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣻ ⣗⡽⡮⡷⣽⣺⣽⣿⣾⠟⠈⠄⠄⡀⢁⠂⢘⠈⡈⡠⠁⠄⢀⠘⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠳⠻⣯⣿⣽⣞⣵⡳ ⣗⢯⢫⢯⣷⡿⣽⠏⡁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢄⠅⠐⡂⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠐⡑⠄⠌⡄⠅⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⣳⢯ ⣿⡴⣤⠅⢓⢹⢜⠁⡀⠄⠄⡡⠈⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠠⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣟ ⠿⢿⠻⢝⣿⡿⢢⢁⢀⢑⠌⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣴⣴⣬⣄⣀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⣸⣾⣛⢈⠄⢸⠐⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⡀⣜⣞⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⢴⢼⣐⢬⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⠋⣀⣵⣿⣽⡇⢃⢘⠜⠅⠈⠄⠄⢀⢔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢾⢿⣳⢷⢿⡯⣷⣿⡌⠄⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⡟⣾⠇⢠⠧⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⣰⣿⣿⣯⡏⣯⢿⢽⡹⣏⢿⡺⡱⢑⠽⡹⡺⣜⢄⠅⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣾⣻⢳⣝⡯⢡⢹⣇⠄⠐⠄⠄⢠⣺⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⢽⡵⣽⡺⣝⢎⢎⢶⢕⢌⢭⢣⢑⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⠧⢃⡳⠉⡈⢮⠃⠄⠄⠇⠄⣔⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣯⣯⢿⢼⡪⡎⡯⡝⢵⣓⢱⢱⡱⡪⡂⠄⠐⠄⠂⠄⠰⣿ ⡿⢡⢪⠄⢰⠨⣿⠁⢈⣸⠄⠄⢿⢿⣻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣮⢮⣯⣾⡵⣪⡪⡱⣹⣪⡂⠄⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣈⡖⡅⠄⢪⢴⢊⠁⢐⢸⠄⠄⡨⡢⡈⠈⠉⠻⢟⣷⡿⣟⢗⣽⡷⣿⢯⣞⣕⣧⣷⡳⠅⠄⠅⢐⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡣⡟⠜⠸⡁⣷⠁⠄⢅⢸⡀⠄⠄⠈⡀⠥⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠐⣷⡳⠙⠕⠩⠘⠁⠃⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⢆⠄⠄⠄⣸ ⣻⠍⠄⢣⣣⠏⠠⠐⠌⣪⠃⡐⢔⢌⡛⡎⡢⠄⢀⢄⢠⣳⣿⡎⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⡈⠌⠊⠄⢀⠘⠨⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⠑⠠⢂⢮⡳⠠⠂⠁⡅⡯⠐⢨⡺⡌⡯⡪⣞⣼⣵⡧⣟⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠐⡢⣒⢆⢐⢠⠁⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢻ ⢅⢢⠫⡫⠙⠨⠄⣃⢎⡗⢈⠰⠸⡸⡸⣝⣿⣿⡗⡽⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⣔⢽⣼⣗⣷⢱⠁⠄⠅⠁⠐⠄⠄⢾ ⡵⣰⠏⡐⠱⡑⢨⡬⢻⡕⠐⠈⡪⡣⡳⡱⡳⠱⢍⣳⢳⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⢵⢻⣳⣟⢎⠪⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡷⠁⡀⠄⠨⢂⣸⢉⠆⢑⠌⢠⢣⢏⢜⠜⡀⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠠⠄⠨⡗⡧⡳⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢖⠠⠄⢰⠁⢴⣃⠞⠄⠕⣈⣺⣵⡫⡢⣕⣷⣷⡀⠄⡈⢟⠝⠈⢉⡢⡕⡭⣇⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢻⡐⢔⢠⠪⡌⢌⠆⠐⢐⢨⣾⣷⡙⠌⠊⠕⠁⠄⠊⡀⠄⠠⠄⠡⠁⠓⡝⡜⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡀⠄⣿ ⠘⢨⢪⠼⠘⠅⠄⠂⠄⡀⢻⣿⣇⠃⠑⠄⠒⠁⢂⠑⡔⠄⠌⡐⠄⠂⠠⢰⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣡⢱⣶⣿ ⢢⢂⠫⡪⣊⠄⠣⡂⠂⡀⠨⠹⡐⣜⡾⡯⡯⢷⢶⢶⠶⣖⢦⢢⢪⠢⡂⡇⠅⠄⠄⠈⠄⢰⠡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠄⠧⣟⡎⢆⡃⡊⠔⢀⠄⠈⣮⢟⡽⣿⣝⡆⠅⠐⡁⠐⠔⣀⢣⢑⠐⠁⡐⠈⡀⢐⠁⠄⠈⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠁⢮⣾⡎⢰⢐⠈⢌⢂⠐⡀⠂⡝⡽⣟⣿⣽⡪⢢⠂⡨⢪⠸⠨⢀⠂⡁⢀⠂⠄⢂⢊⠖⢄⠄⢀⢨⠉⠛ ⡰⢺⣾⡗⠄⡜⢔⠡⢊⠢⢅⢀⠑⠨⡪⠩⠣⠃⠜⡈⡐⡈⡊⡈⡐⢄⠣⢀⠂⡂⡁⢂⠄⢱⢨⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing