[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

December 2021

Obama Not Bad

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July 2015

Smash Ball

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣴⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣾⢟⢁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢟⣿⣿⣾⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣼⣧⠀⢺⣿⣿⡃⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⣼⠅⣠⣿⡗⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿⣡⢀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣀⣤⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣤⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡉⢀⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄ ⢻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡁⠀ ⠈⢻⣿⡍⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣥⣶⡾⢟⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⢨⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⣤⡾⠯⠁⠀
August 2019

Super Smash Bros

PJSalt = Hs²

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein was desperate. He tried to prove that the luck of Kripp's opponents was within the laws of mathematics. Critics laughed claiming bad luck is divine punishment for embracing casualness. On his deathbed, he spent his last seconds jotting down the most famous formulas, PJSalt = Hs²
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

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