[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Clash Royale chicken emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠛⡲⠤⣀⢰⠋⠉⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠒⠛⠛⡶⠳⠇⠀⠑⣹⠀⠀⡰⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⢄⡠⠐⠒⠣⢤⠊⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢧⣀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⢀⣈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠠⣀⣀⡀⠔⡁⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠲⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

Clash Royale

Can you guys stop spamming

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop spamming and actually type something relevant to the match. all of you just want attention
twitch chat
May 2018

Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment?

twitchquotes: Can we all stop hating on Amaz for a moment? I mean, yes, he is a colossal fake cunt, moneysucking parasite, and selfish prick. But he is one of the few representations of the gay community in Hearthstone.
twitch chat
June 2015

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing