[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

🚶‍♂️are you the👁👄👁new girl😜heh☺️ i thought so😌i’ve never seen👀 you before🤔 cone e chee wah ✋🏻 i’m david-kun😚it’s so nice😛to finally meet you🤪you look just like😳my waifu🥵HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹anyways😐i’m so sorry😔about the jerks😡in class😤theyre all👊🏻BAKA👊🏻they only want😭one thing😫not me🥴i just like🤓to watch📺my favourite anime😍jiu jitsu kaisen😍and read manga😎mmmalso👉🏻👈🏻ithinkyourereallycool😅kawaee desu neigh😳🐴HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹nghuuh😣i’m sorry😤i’m just nervous😭okay😡it’s just😉well😋it’s just🥵mm I JUST WANT TO KNOW🤔IF I CAN SUCK👅ON YOUR NIPPLETS🤭OKAY❓well😰what do you 👊🏻👊🏻NNGGGH😵
February 2021

Weebs

Hello Kripp, proud brony here

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 Hello Kripp, proud brony here. I was just wondering if you could played the "dreadsteed" deck as it reminds me of my waifu Twilight Sparkle. Thanks, it would mean soooo much to me (✿☯‿☯✿) 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

A huge grin appeared on Trump's face

twitch chat
August 2014
Trump

TL aka "The Losers"

twitchquotes: TL, aka "The Losers", is team that somehow manages to be #1 in NA. Fans think they are the next big thing, but NA fails to see they are made up of 4 asians and 1 EU player.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Putin v3

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠠⢀⠄⡅⢔⠰⡨⢢⢡⢑⠔⠅⠕⠄⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠅⢔⠨⢐⠅⡌⢆⢣⠪⡪⡘⡌⡮⡱⡡⣊⢌⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⡐⢄⠕⡡⡘⢔⢱⢨⢪⢪⢪⢪⡺⣪⢞⢮⢫⢮⢺⢔⢆⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠈⠄⡠⡊⢌⠢⡑⡌⡆⡇⡇⡇⡇⣇⢗⣝⢮⡺⣪⡳⣹⡪⣞⢵⢝⡵⡝⣕⠡⢀⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢊⢂⠁⡔⡌⡢⢑⠌⡢⡱⡸⡸⡸⡪⡺⡸⣕⢵⡳⣝⢮⡺⣪⢞⣵⣫⡳⣕⢯⡺⡬⠄⠕⡕⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⡇⡂⢢⢣⢣⠨⡂⡊⢔⢕⢱⡱⡝⣜⢝⡺⣜⡵⣝⢮⡳⡽⣵⣻⡺⣼⡺⡵⣳⢝⡮⡃⡕⡺⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⡱⡱⡨⢪⢪⢢⠡⢂⢊⠢⡱⡱⡱⡝⡮⡳⣝⢞⢮⢗⡯⣯⢯⣗⡯⣟⣮⢯⣟⢮⡳⣝⢇⢇⢎⢵⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣕⢵⢣⢣⢑⢅⢆⢃⠢⠡⡡⡱⡱⡹⡪⡯⣺⢕⡯⣫⢯⢾⢽⢽⣺⢯⣗⡯⣗⣗⢗⣝⢮⡫⣏⢮⢒⢅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠮⡪⢪⠪⠢⡃⡪⡂⠅⢕⠰⢱⢸⢸⡱⣝⢮⡳⡽⣪⢏⡯⡯⣟⡾⣽⣺⢽⣳⡳⣝⢮⡳⣫⣳⢳⡱⡱⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡃⡫⢔⢨⢕⢕⢔⢌⢌⠢⡑⡱⡘⢜⢜⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⣫⢿⢽⣺⡽⡾⣾⢽⣳⢯⢮⡳⣝⣕⢗⢵⡑⡕⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⠢⡱⡐⢕⢵⣑⡑⢕⢐⠕⠸⠰⡑⠕⢕⢕⠽⡕⣏⢗⢽⢝⢽⠺⠽⠽⢽⢻⢽⢽⢵⢽⡸⣪⢳⢱⢱⡱⡽⡡⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠨⠈⢆⢊⢎⢖⢂⠃⠡⠐⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⢹⢘⣜⢕⠑⡈⠄⡈⣈⣐⠨⠘⡜⢕⡳⣝⢮⡳⡱⡱⡵⡯⡪⠂⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠅⢂⠑⡕⡕⠄⡢⢀⠄⠠⠄⠁⠁⡌⠠⢠⠄⠸⣸⣺⡪⣐⠅⢢⢈⠄⢬⢍⣆⢧⣳⡽⡮⣺⡪⡺⣘⢼⣝⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠨⡢⡢⡣⡳⢑⢰⢐⠠⡊⡪⣢⡣⡪⡰⠑⡀⠨⣪⢷⣝⡮⡫⡪⣪⢾⢝⣯⢾⣝⣗⡯⣟⢮⡪⡯⡷⣗⡯⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢕⠄⡇⡣⡑⠔⢅⠇⡇⡏⡖⡕⡕⣌⢂⠂⠌⢮⢷⡳⡯⡯⡾⡵⣫⢯⢞⣗⡷⡯⣯⡳⣱⢱⢝⡽⣺⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠡⡡⢱⢐⠨⠨⠐⡡⢃⢇⢇⡏⡞⡔⡐⠠⢑⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⣝⢗⡯⣟⢾⢽⢝⡞⣜⢜⢜⣽⣺⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠃⠂⡐⠄⠅⡐⡈⡢⡃⢇⠕⡢⠄⠨⢘⢮⢯⢯⣳⡫⡗⣗⢽⢝⡮⡯⡮⡣⡏⣎⢎⠞⠺⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⢂⠐⡈⡢⢑⠅⡕⡐⠈⠨⡨⢯⣻⢽⣺⢺⡺⡪⣏⢷⢽⢕⣯⡫⣞⢜⢜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⠂⡂⠌⠄⢕⢐⠌⢄⠄⠨⠨⢘⢥⢅⡵⣝⣝⢮⡳⡽⣝⡮⣺⢪⢎⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢀⠡⠄⠌⠌⢂⢂⠪⠐⡌⢰⢰⢘⢼⢝⣞⢞⣞⡵⡯⣞⢵⣫⢮⡳⡣⡳⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠐⠄⠊⠄⠨⠐⠠⠈⠌⠘⠜⠵⡢⢳⢹⢜⢕⠕⠱⡹⡪⡳⣕⣳⢹⡸⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢄⠡⠁⠠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠐⠔⠔⠔⡢⠦⣒⢎⣎⢦⢢⢩⡫⣎⢮⢣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣇⠄⠐⠠⠄⠁⠄⠡⢀⢂⢅⢔⢄⣆⣆⢕⢵⡹⣪⡳⣕⢵⢱⢕⢇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡿⣵⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠨⠨⡂⢇⢎⢕⢎⢞⡽⡵⣝⢮⢺⢸⠸⡘⣜⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣺⣳⣧⣄⡀⠄⠄⡀⠂⠌⡂⠕⢌⠊⢎⠪⠪⠪⡊⡆⣕⣕⢧⣓⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢪⢞⣾⡽⣷⣮⡄⠐⠄⡂⠌⢌⠢⢑⢐⢄⢅⢇⢇⣗⣕⢗⡵⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡾⣽⣯⣷⣿⡿⣮⣰⢱⡱⣜⢔⡑⡜⣜⢮⣣⡳⣪⢷⣽⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡷⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣗⣽⢵⢕⣕⢮⡺⢝⣵⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠈⠽⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡵⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠈⠄⠄⢸⣹⡪⣿⣿⣿⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣯⣿⣢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⢸⣿⣿⣮⢞⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2022
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