[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound

twitchquotes: Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Dr DisRespect's speech

twitchquotes: let's talk about about me, let's talk about the 6'8 frame the 37 in verticle leap...the black steel that drapes down my back aka the bullet proof mullet, the google prototype scopes with built in LCD LED 1080p 3D sony technology. The Ethiopian poisonous catapillar aka SLICK DADDY. lets talk about the cabinets right behind me that go 40ft deep that house the other 95% of my trophies, the awards, the certificates, all claiming first place, right? Let me give you a little inside glimpse into the hotshot, video game life style of the two time of the international video game superstar. because thats what the channels about, thats what this domain is about, that is what society is about. you are looking at the new face of twitch and GODDAMN is twitch lucky... thats just off the top of my head
twitch chat
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Reynad's large forehead

twitchquotes: when is google gonna buy ad space on reynads forehead??
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Spits out cereal guy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣞⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⢾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣬⣵⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡣⡀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⢁⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠈⠒⠤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⠤⠐⠳⣦⣤⣤⣤⠶⠶⠶⢦⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⡟⠋⠻⣶⡒⠒⠦⠤⡤⡈⢻⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⣸⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣖⣺⢻⣝⣋⣽⣳⣶⣶⣿⣦⡴⣼⢷⡟⠋⠀ ⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣌⠉⠉⠉⣡⠞⠉⠉⠛⠳⢶⣼⢸⠂⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣕⡋⠘⠐⠂⡑⠃⠉⢲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⢀⡤⠰⡎⠈⣉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⡎⠀⠠⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠠⢄⠈⡗⠲⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢥⣦⠶⣗⢩⣰⢈⢁⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠨⢠⠇⠀⢹⢳⡉⣓⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠉⠙⠢⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⢸⡎⣿⡀⠀⢹⣏⠉⠉⠒⢦⠀ ⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⢸⣇⣴⠈⣿⡄⠀⢀⠻⠀ ⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⣶⣭⣽⣻⣻⣯⣽⣿⣿⣀⣻⡇⠀⠀⡅⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠋⠳⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓
August 2021

Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded

July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing