[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Rania and her Puerto Rican lover in 2017

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Traumatized Mr Incredible

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖➖ ➖➖➖➖⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
February 2022

I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be

twitchquotes: Key Kripp! I'm Rob! I just purchased a fresh, legal dimebag from a Colorado dealer and intend to celebrate. I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be during the stream
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

A fine capitalist girl

twitchquotes: I may be✊ a communist 🚩⚒⭐️ but if i see👀 a fine 💯👌😩 capitalist 💰🇺🇸 girl 👱‍♀️ you bet😤🙌 imma be tryna seize 👐 the means of dat booty 🍑🍆💦💯
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

I am like a boomerang, I will always return

twitchquotes: Dear nazi mods. you may have permabanned my other account, but shitposting will always find a way. I will lie about how to make faces. I will accuse teams of 322. I will raise my dongers. So don't even waste your time banning me, because I am like a boomerang. I will always return. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino cappucino.
twitch chat
March 2014

MODS

Text-to-Speech Playing