[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Muffet from Undertale

░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░ ░▄████░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░█████▄░ ████▀█▀▄█████████▄▀█▀████░ ▀▀░▀▄█████▀▀▀▀▀░▀███▄▀░▀▀░ ░░░░████▀▄░░██░░▄░███░░░░░ ░░░▄███▀▄▀▀░▀▀░▀▀▄▀██▄░░░░ ░▄▄████░███▄░░▄███░███▄▄░░ ░░█████░░▀▀░░░░▀▀░░████░░░ ░░░▀▀███▄░▀▄▀▀▄▀░▄██▀▀░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▀▄▄░░▄▄█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▄▀▀▄▀▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀██░▄▄░██▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄░ ▀▄▄▀░░░▄▀█▀█▀▀█▀█▀▄░░░▀▄▄▀ ░░▄▄▄▄▀▄█▀░▄░░▄░▀█▄▀▄▄▄▄░░ ░▀▄▄▀░▄▀█░░▄▄▄▄░░█▀▄░▀▄▄▀░ ░░░░░█▀▄░▀▄▀░░▀▄▀░▄▀█░░░░░ ░░░░░█▄▀░░█▄░░▄█░░▀▄█░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄█▀░░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░
March 2016

Everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked

twitchquotes: Diablo. PoE. WoW. GW2. Long ago,the four games lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked. Only Kripp, master of no life gaming, could stop them, but when the world needed him the most, he played ResidentSleeper stone.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

SMOrc Pyramid

SMOrc only real SMOrcs can build: perfect pyramid! SMOrc  SMOrc . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me ! SMOrc  SMOrc  SMOrc And my pyramid still higher!!!!! SMOrc  SMOrc  SMOrc  SMOrc
twitch chat
July 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

if u finish reading this monkaW

twitchquotes: Hey Byron, I noticed you like to run comps around Aurelion Sol and I went ahead and did the math on a level 3 Aurelion Sol with Spear of Shojin and Zeke's buff and it turns out that if you finish reading this everyone in chat will be dead in the next 5 minutes monkaW
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing