[Copypasta] WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

VI VON ZULUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠐⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡘⢦⡀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣦⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⡄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⠑⠄⣽⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⢗⡀⠄⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⠄⠄⠄⣠⡀⡄⠄⠄⢎⣿⡶⢶⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠁⠁⠈⠉⠉⢚⣍⣩⡀⠄⢀⠄⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⢒⡛⡛⠛⠛⢿⡁⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠉⢉⡉⡉⠁⠄⠁⢠⡎⠄⣀⢰⣿⠁⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡇⢢⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠁⢠⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⣿⣿ ⣏⢀⠄⠄⢈⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⠛⢛⣟⡛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⢈⠉⠁⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣟⣿
November 2018
Forsen

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

How will this effect my embroidery frame?

twitchquotes: Hey reynad i'm an artist, i fucked up my picture, how will this effect my embroidery frame?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Ben Brode and Tyrande

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Tyrande's soft dirty blue hair. "If I do this, will you make Elune great again?" Tyrande asks as she starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Tyrande prepares her Cockbiter Weapon. She nods as Ben Brode takes out his 4 mana 7/7 and slams it into Tyrande's 0/5 tightwell. "BY ELUNE'S GRACE"! Tyrande screams. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Tyrande's face..
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing