[Copypasta] WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021
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I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

pepegaClown

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠒⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠉⠐⠠⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠔⠊⡽⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡤⠊⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡃⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⣀⠄⠄⢋⣭⣭⠭⣶⣬⡛⢋⣴⠟⣣⣬⣍⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣨⣭⣶⢋⣩⣶⣿⣶⠶⣦⡈⠁⣾⣿⠄⠄⠱⡄⠄ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡹⣿⣿⠁⢀⢸⣿⡄⢻⣿⣇⠄⢃⡿⠄ ⠄⠈⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⡇⠄⠋⣸⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⢉⠥⠖⠁ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣫⣔⣒⠻⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡘⠷⣭⣭⣭⡭⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣵⣾⡧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡟⣍⠻⣷⣜⡻⠿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣦⣀⠄⢀⣠⡿⢟⣋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣧⡹⢿⣮⣙⡻⠷⢦⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⠭⢖⣚⡍⠁⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⢷⣤⣀⠄⠙⠛⠷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⡍⠉⠁⠄⠄⢀⠰⠛⠄⠄⠄ ⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⡻⠷⠶⢤⣤⣬⣭⣭⡭⠥⢤⣤⡤⠶⣊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⠻⠿⠿⢟⡻⠐⢃⠒⢥⣤⣄⢤⠠⢈⠂⣵⣶⣾⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠂⠴⢞⠒⠒⡸⠐⢬⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Pepe

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I declare with utter certainty that James is an ass

twitchquotes: ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʜᴀsᴛʟʏ ᴇʏʀɪᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪs ᴠᴀɴᴛᴀɢᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ I ᴅᴇᴄʟᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴛʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ɪs ᴀɴ ᴀss
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

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