[Copypasta] No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Greekeroni Philosopheroni

twitchquotes: hey qtpie i'm a greekeroni philosopheroni and i want to share my toughts. so far for me KAPPA is god KAPPA is in everything so we are KAPPA we are god this is my philosopheroni pls no kapparoni papajohnny
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

Trollge / TrollDespair emote

⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing