No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.
Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.
Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
NSFW
Why is my BLACK friend so racist?
So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, “Could I play as white this time?” Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesn’t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? It’s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chess
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS
twitchquotes:
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP 
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP
twitch chat
Tyler1 is my future mirror
twitchquotes:
No, I don’t jerk off to Tyler1 because I’m gay, I jerk off to Tyler1 because he is what I will become with hard enough training. I can get out of diamond. I can go to the gym. Tyler1 is not a human but instead an idea. The idea of my life working, the idea of my not getting bad teammates (who are always at fault in my games seriously wtf am I supposed to do) and the idea of me climbing. When I see Tyler1 I don’t get excited because I’m gay but because he is my future mirror.
twitch chat
Tyler1
KappaPride
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.