[Copypasta] McAfee didn't kill himself

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ☆★☆ 𝐌𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 ☆★☆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩☆۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: 📜 ✍️ 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉.
twitch chat
February 2021

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: ☑ “This team's salary is CRAZY!” ☑ “Reynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9's” ☑ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" ☑ “They bribed the only player that would turncoat” ☑ "They had the perfect negotiator" ☑ “There was nothing Reynad could do” ☑ “I backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing