[Copypasta] I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Fedora the Explorer

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, Fedora the Explorer here, moderator of /r/hearthstone. I am here to tell you that reddit is now your enemy because you missed legal.
twitch chat
March 2015
Reynad

YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.
May 2021

Simps

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

Boomer anthem

twitchquotes: Please๐Ÿ˜ณ rise ๐Ÿ˜Ž for the ๐Ÿคจ national ๐Ÿ anthem ๐ŸŽถ of boomers ๐Ÿคช ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ Video Games ๐ŸŽฎ cause violence ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ, Phone ๐Ÿ“ฑ bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž, book ๐Ÿ“š good ๐Ÿ‘ I hate ๐Ÿ˜’ my wife ๐Ÿ‘ฐ Pause โธ๏ธ the Fortnite ๐Ÿฅ‡ please ๐Ÿ˜ค Funny ๐Ÿคฃ Facebook ๐Ÿ˜œ minion ๐Ÿคญ memes ๐Ÿคช
twitch chat
November 2019

Emoji Pasta

Repeating yourselves like parrots

twitchquotes: Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing