I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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TIFU: By slapping my wifeโs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeโs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with โyes daddy, spank me harder!โ (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with โwhatโs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?โ
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donโt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeโs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donโt know if I can ever have sex again
Doot diddity donger cuckerino
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๐๐ธ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ต๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฌ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ธ
๐๐ธ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ต๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฌ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ธ
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imaqtpie
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I sexually Identify as
Morons will copy anything if it's long enough
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Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. 
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I hate Twitch Chat
salty
Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!
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Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
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Kripp