[Copypasta] How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GG

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β•β•β•β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β• β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–‘
January 2021

A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

Our dongers will never lower

twitchquotes: OUR BULLETS WILL ANNIHILATE YOU ⁞ ぀: β€’Μ€ βŒ‚ ‒́ : ⁞-︻╦̡══╀─ OUR BLADES WILL PIERCE YOUR SKIN α—œΰ²  o ΰ² )Β€=[]:::::> OUR BEASTS WILL RIP YOU APART ΰ©§γ€³ Λ΅ ΰ²  α΄₯ ΰ²  Λ΅ γ€΅γƒŽβŒ’. OUR WIZARDS WILL CURSE YOU FOR ETERNITY ΰΌΌβˆ©ΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½γ€β”β˜†οΎŸ.*ο½₯q゚ AND OUR DONGERS WILL NEVER LOWER
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: MY GREETINGS ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper SHAPESHIFT ResidentSleeper THE CIRCLE OF LIFE IS OVER ResidentSleeper PLAGUE LORD ResidentSleeper MY WINGED CHILDREN FILL THE SKIES ResidentSleeper I AM THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

HELP MY DONGER IS ON FIRE

twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β°Μ’ Μ’Κ–Ν‰ Ν‹Β°)Μƒ Ν—H̟EΝ’LΜ“PΝ— ͈MΝ™YΝ• ́DΜΏO͝NGΜ­EΝ‹RΜ° ͜I͝SΜ¦ ̏ONΜ‘ Ν¨F̊IΝ‚RΝ†EΝƒ Ν ( Ν‘Β°ΜΆ ΝœΚ–Μ½ Ν˜Β°Ν—)Ν‰
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing