[Copypasta] How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

I miss the old Harambe

twitchquotes: I miss the old Harambe. Straight from the zoo Harambe. Eating his food Harambe. No attitude Harambe. I hate the new Harambe. Shot by a dude Harambe. The Youtube views Harambe. Up in the news Harambe. I miss the sweet Harambe. Playing with kids Harambe. I gotta say at that time I'd like to meet Harambe. See I invented Harambe. It wasnt any Harambes. And now i look and look around and there's no more Harambes.
twitch chat
September 2016

Classic

Harambe

Secret Puerto Rican lover

twitchquotes: Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Classic

I have to tell you guys something that is very important indeed

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

KappaPride

Tricky the Clown (Impropable Outset)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⠿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠉⠟⢋⣹⠿⣿⣟⡛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢶⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠶⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠁⠘⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢠⠆⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⡆⢠⡇⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣌⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠿⢯⣉⣙⡿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠄⢀⡄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⡿⠉⠀⠉⠳⠶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⡚⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠋⠀⡴⡻⠁⡤⢞⢢⠚⢿⣿ ⣿⢟⠊⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠦⣤⣁⣀⣩⠤⣴⠖⠋⠀⠀⣸⠤⡗⠐⠁⢉⠻⣞⠈⣿ ⡏⠀⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡆⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣴⠃⠀⢠⠀⠀⢳⠀⢧⠀⠫⡀⠘⢈⠽⣿ ⡇⠀⢠⠂⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⡇⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣟⠀⠀⠆⡄⠀⠈⢷⡉⠳⣤⣠⣉⣤⣾⣿ ⡇⠀⡼⠀⠀⠳⣄⣀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣊⣁⣴⣿⣿⢻⠶⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⡽⠷⠾⠷⠛⠋⢹⣿ ⣿⣦⣌⡓⢢⣤⣀⣨⠽⠒⠋⢀⠔⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⢸⡹⣆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠷⠖⠒⠲⠤⢄⡀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠙⢦⢻⡝⠷⢤⣴⣃⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⣠⣟⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣷⣶⣾⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing