[Copypasta] How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Discord made me racist

Last time when I was 9 years old, my 29 years old roblox friend told me to download an app called discord. So after using discord for 3 years, I found multiple racist servers that I joined. They all send nazi and geroge floyd. They say n word and shit and now I say the n word too. I think saying n word is so funny. I say heil hitler too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Everytime I post gore, me and the boys can’t stop laughing. We jack off to fortnite sex too. I am now racist and a nazi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
June 2021

Discord

Joker

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░░▄▀░▄░▐▐▄▀▄▀▒░░░▀░░░░▀░▄▀▐░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–€β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–β–‘ β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–β–„β–‘β–‘
November 2014

You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic

twitchquotes: Alex19 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with fox? Alex puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. mang0 breaks records. Armada breaks records. Alex19 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
October 2016

Super Smash Bros

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Boss of this gym

twitchquotes: Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down. Fuckβ†—Youβ†˜ Oh, Fuckβ™‚You leather man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough. Oh yea? I'll kick your ass! Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that leather stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say? Yeah, no problem buddy! You got it. Get out of that uh, jabroni outfit. Yeah, smart ass. I'll show you who's the boss of this gym.
twitch chat
July 2020

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing