[Copypasta] How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
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The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Oh, so you like minecraft? Name every block

Air, stone, granite, polished granite, diorite, polished diorite, andesite, polished andesite, grass, grass path, mycelium, dirt, coarse dirt, podzol, cobblestone, mossy cobblestone, oak wood, spruce wood, birch wood, jungle wood, acacia wood, dark oak wood, oak planks, spruce planks, birch planks, jungle planks, acacia planks, dark oak planks, oak sapling, spruce sapling, birch sapling, jungle sapling, acacia sapling, dark oak sapling, sugar cane, bedrock, sandstone, chiseled sand stone, chiseled res sand stone, smooth red sandstone, red sand stone, smooth sandstone, sand, red sand, gravel, water, lava, magma block, obsidian, coal ore, iron ore, redstone ore, redstone ore when you start to mine it and it lights up, gold ore, lapis ore, diamond ore, emerald ore, nether quartz ore, coal block, iron block, redstone block, gold block, lapis block, diamond block, emerald block, quartz block, chiseled quartz, quartz pillar, slime block, oak leaves, spruce leaves, birch leaves, jungle leaves, acacia leaves, dark oak leaves, sponge, wet sponge, note block, rail, powered rail, detector rail, activator rail, bed, cobweb, dead bush, shrub, tall grass, fern, piston, sticky piston, dandelion, poppy, blue orchid, allium, azure bluet, red tulip, orange tulip, white tulip, pink tulip, oxeye daisy, sunflower, lilac, rose bush, peony, brown mushroom, red mushroom, brown mushroom block, red mushroom block, bricks, TNT, bookshelf, torch, fire, mob spawner, oak stairs, spruce stairs, birch stairs, jungle stairs, acacia stairs, dark oak stairs, sandstone stairs, red sandstone stairs, cobblestone stairs, brick stairs, stone brick stairs, nether brick stairs, quartz stairs, purpur stairs, chest, trapped chest, ender chest, farmland (aka hoed dirt), furnace, lit furnace, sign, sign attached to a wall, oak door, spruce door, birch door, jungle door, acacia door, dark oak door, iron door, trapdoor, iron trapdoor, ladder, lever, stone button, wood button, wood pressure plate, stone pressure plate, light pressure plate/gold pressure plate, heavy pressure plate/iron pressure plate, tripwire, daylight sensor, redstone, redstone torch, redstone torch turned off, redstone comparator, redstone repeater, redstone lamp on, redstone lamp off, dispenser, dropper, observer, hopper, command block, command block repeater, command block chain, snow block, snow layer, ice, packed ice, blue ice, cactus, clay, jukebox, oak fence, spruce fence, birch fence, jungle fence, acacia fence, dark oak fence, oak fence gate, spruce fence gate, birch fence gate, jungle fence gate, acacia fence gate, dark oak fence gate, nether brick fence, nether bricks, red nether bricks, netherack, soul sand, glowstone, bone block, nether wart, nether wart block, cake, stone bricks, mossy stone bricks, cracked stone bricks, chiseled stone bricks, iron bars, melon block, melon stem, pumpkin, pumpkin stem, jack o lantern, vines, water lily, enchantment table, brewing stand, cauldron, end portal frame, end stone, end bricks, end rod, purpur block, purpur pillar, purpur slab and double slab, beetroot, chorus plant, chorus flower, dragon egg, oak slab, spruce slab, birch slab, jungle slab, acacia slab, dark oak slab, stone slab, sandstone slab, cobblestone slab, brick slab, stone brick slab, nether brick slab, quartz slab, red sandstone slab, cacao block, anvil, beacon, cobblestone wall, mossy cobblestone wall, flower pot, carrots, potatoes, hay block, skeleton skull, wither skeleton skull, zombie head, creeper head, white wool, orange wool, magenta wool, light blue wool, yellow wool, lime wool, pink wool, gray wool, light gray wool, cyan wool, purple wool, blue wool, brown wool, green wool, red wool, black wool, terracotta, white terracotta, orange terracotta, magenta terracotta, light blue terracotta, yellow terracotta, lime terracotta, pink terracotta, gray terracotta, light gray terracotta, cyan terracotta, purple terracotta, blue terracotta, brown terracotta, green terracotta, red, terracotta, black terracotta, white glazed terracotta, orange glazed terracotta, magenta glazed terracotta, light blue glazed terracotta, yellow glazed terracotta, lime glazed terracotta, pink glazed terracotta, gray glazed terracotta, silver glazed terracotta, cyan glazed terracotta, purple glazed terracotta, blue glazed terracotta, brown glazed terracotta, green glazed terracotta, red glazed terracotta, black glazed terracotta, white concrete powder, orange concrete powder, magenta concrete powder, light blue concrete powder, yellow concrete powder, lime concrete powder, pink concrete powder, gray concrete powder, light gray concrete powder, cyan concrete powder, purple concrete powder, blue concrete powder, brown concrete powder, green concrete powder, red concrete powder, black concrete powder, white concrete, orange concrete, magenta concrete, light blue concrete, yellow concrete, lime concrete, pink concrete, gray concrete, light gray concrete, cyan concrete, purple concrete, blue concrete, brown concrete, green concrete, red concrete, black concrete, white carpet, orange carpet, magenta carpet, light blue carpet, yellow carpet, lime carpet, pink carpet, gray carpet, light gray carpet, cyan carpet, purple carpet, blue carpet, brown carpet, green carpet, red carpet, black carpet, glass, glass pane, white stained glass, orange stained glass, magenta stained glass, light blue stained glass, yellow stained glass, lime stained glass, pink stained glass, gray stained glass, light gray stained glass, cyan stained glass, purple stained glass, blue stained glass, brown stained glass, green stained glass, red stained glass, black stained glass, white stained glass pane, orange stained glass pane, magenta stained glass pane, light blue stained glass pane, yellow stained glass pane, lime stained glass pane, pink stained glass pane, gray stained glass pane, light gray stained glass pane, cyan stained glass pane, purple stained glass pane, blue stained glass pane, brown stained glass pane, green stained glass pane, red stained glass pane, black stained glass pane, prismarine, prismarine bricks, dark prismarine, white shulker box, orange shulker box, magenta shulker box, light blue shulker box, yellow shulker box, lime shulker box, pink shulker box, gray shulker box, light gray shulker box, cyan shulker box, purple shulker box, blue shulker box, brown shulker box, green shulker box, red shulker box, black, banner, banner attached to a wall, barrier block, ancient debris, block of netherite, basalt, blackstone, blackstone slabs, blackstone stairs, blackstone wall, chiseled polished blackstone, chiseled nether bricks, cracked nether bricks, cracked polished blackstone bricks, crimson button, crimson door, chain, crimson fence, crimson fence gate, crimson hyphae, crimson fungus, crimson nylium, crimson planks, crimson pressure plate, crimson roots, crimson sign (on wall and on floor), crimson slabs, crimson stairs, crimson stem, crimson trapdoor, crying obsidian, gilded blackstone, loadstone, nether gold ore, nether sprouts, polished basalt, polished blackstone, polished blackstone brick slab, polished blackstone brick stairs, polished blackstone brick wall, polished blackstone bricks, polished blackstone button, polished blackstone pressure plate, polished blackstone wall, quartz bricks, respawn anchor, shroomlight, soul campfire, soul fire, soul lantern, soul torch, soul soil, striped crimson hyphae, striped crimson stem, striped warped hyphae, striped warped stem, target block, twisting vines, warped door, warped button, warped fence, warped fence gate, warped fungus, warped fungus on a stick
June 2021

This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

࢞ AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Elephant

β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“(O)β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing