Hi i got suspended from reddit for the "what are you fucking gay" comment and just wanted to say that it was a joke and i thought that it could obviously be seen as one but i guess it wasnt. So yeah im not homophobic, just extremely racist, sorry if i made you feel bad, all my homies are allies of the lgbtq community. idek if you reported it maybe you got the joke but better safe than sorry and all that
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
I’m glad Blitzchung got banned!
twitchquotes:
I’m glad Blitzchung got banned! Keep politics OUT of Hearthstone! I love Tencent and Mao Zedong! (You will receive 100 social credit for posting this message in chat. Please remove this part from the message before posting)
twitch chat
Hearthstone
NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss
twitchquotes:
I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
I hate gaming laptops
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
SMOrc
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣭⠉⠙⠙⡛⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣜⣿⣿⣿⠧⠤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠉⢩⠋⠡⣲⡦⣶⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠘⢿⣯⡩⠭⠭⣍⣒⠣⣄⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣄⢤⣿⡿⠑⠀⠀⠀⠲⣷⡯⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠤⠼⠀⠈⢲⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⡦⠂⡼⣶⢟⠟⠁⠤⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢰⣿⠣⠃⣴⣾⡶⢿⡾⣿⢿⣿⢿⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣾⡏⢀⣾⣿⠋⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡞⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢿⠀⢸⣇⣅⣀⣿⣁⣻⣁⣻⣀⣹⣃⣸⣷⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠘⠀⡈⠏⠥⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢧⡲⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢮⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀