I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Viewbot #21701 reporting for duty
twitchquotes:
HEY KRIPP VIEWBOT #21701 REPORTING FOR DUTY
HEY KRIPP VIEWBOT #21701 REPORTING FOR DUTY
twitch chat
Kripp
Viewbots
Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)
Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
Russian Ukrainian War
Trump and Scooby Doo
twitchquotes:
"Well Shaggy and Scoobs, you caught the Twitch Chat ghost. Where are Fred and Daphne?" Fred and Daphne appear, their clothes ruffled. Fred pulls off the ghost's hood. "Rit's Rrump!" exclaims Scoobie. "Why'd you do it Trump?" asks Velma. "Because I hate Twitch chat and I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
twitch chat
Trump
I hate Twitch Chat
A huge grin appeared on Trump's face
twitch chat
Trump
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. 
twitch chat
Kripp