[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's stream is like watching paint dry

twitchquotes: How the ever loving *** is this guy getting 24k people to watch him play HS? It's like having a small country collectively decide to grow an interest in watching paint dry. Boggles the mind. Really.
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Is KogMaw's passive account specific?

twitchquotes: Hi Michael, I saw Doublelift playing Kogmaw yesterday and he didn't seem to have the same cool passive you have. Was his game bugged or is the passive account specific?
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I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
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May 2020
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"kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop?

twitchquotes: "kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop? When will this stuff stop being HILARIOUS to people? I mean seriously is there no originality left on this world? Are we all just monkey see monkey do? I don't know about you guys but I'm sick of every time I look up a game, or a forum post, anything really I have to scroll past like 50 of these.
twitch chat
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I hate Twitch Chat

HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning

twitchquotes: fun fact: HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning. the Box is for his name, Boxuel. the H stands for “Hjelte” since he plays with the heart of William Peter "Leffen" Hjelte every tourney
twitch chat
April 2019

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Text-to-Speech Playing