I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Omg imagine an xD spam in this font
twitchquotes:
𝓸𝓶𝓰 𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓪𝓷 "𝔁𝓓" 𝓼𝓹𝓪𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓪𝓲𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 ` 𝓵𝓮𝓵 𝓴𝓮𝓴
𝓸𝓶𝓰 𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓪𝓷 "𝔁𝓓" 𝓼𝓹𝓪𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓪𝓲𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 ` 𝓵𝓮𝓵 𝓴𝓮𝓴
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Dota Major
Oh, these? My boobies?
Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
Smartest Man in Existence
twitchquotes:
When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
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Rick and Morty
HITLER
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Mitochondrion is a double membrane-bound organelle
twitchquotes:
The mitochondrion (plural mitochondria) is a double membrane-bound organelle found in all eukaryotic organisms. Some cells in some multicellular organisms may however lack them (for example, mature mammalian red blood cells). A number of unicellular organisms, such as microsporidia, parabasalids, and diplomonads, have also reduced or transformed their mitochondria into other structures. To date, only one eukaryote, Monocercomonoides, is known to have completely lost its mitochondria.
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