I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Angry emoji
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠓⠿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠞⠋⢁⡀⠤⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠠⢀⠢⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠽⠛⠃⣀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⠤⠤⠄⠈⠀⠑⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠿⠛⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⡁⠁⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⡿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣫⠤⠔⠚⠛⠒⠒⠚⠛⠯⠙⠢⡕⠈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⡇⠘⡄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠠⢴⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡇⠄⠚⠦⢀⣀⣧⠤⠔⠒⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡁⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠄⣴⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⠁⢀⠤⠒⣉⡥⠴⠖⢛⡯⣍⠉⢉⠤⢤⡀⢀⠬⣍⢉⠿⢿⣦⡀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠠⣡⢴⡟⠓⠦⡀⣰⠃⠀⠈⠳⠁⠀⠀⠻⠃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠷⠓⡀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣾⠣⡾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠀⣀⣼⣆⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢠⠤⠐⠶⠂⠐⠒⠈⢹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢾⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠄⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢰⣠⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⠴⠟⢋⡁⠾⠿⠋⠙⠻⠋⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⣠⠏⠀⡸⠀⠀⢸⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠤⣤⣀⣼⡷⠞⢁⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⣤⣀⠀⣰⣡⣴⠖⠻⣕⠀⢺⠻⠊⠁⠀⣠⣾⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⢧⡴⠛⣆⣠⠖⢄⣀⣞⣉⣲⡾⠵⠚⠋⠉⠐⠈⠀⠉⠛⠓⠀⠀⠒⠒⠿⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣩⣥⡄⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠁⠉⠀⢀⣠⣌⣷⣖⣤⣄⣀⠘⠻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣻⣿⣷⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣆⣬⣘⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣛⣿
I hate Reddit's new avatars
They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ
What you guys have no Szechuan sauce?
What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!
Rick and Morty
DO A MEME ALREADY
twitchquotes:
DO A MEME ALREADY 
WE PAY YOU TO MEME SAY YOUR PHRASE
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Not enough brofisting
twitchquotes:
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
Kripp