[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
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Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Pickle Rick

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡄⠒⠪⢝⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⢉⡀⠀⠈⠐⠄⢿⣿⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⡄⠤⢀⠈⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣿⣟⣕⡤⡠⠘⠀⠀⠀⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣾⣿⣞⣄⠮⠔⠈⡢⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢿⣿⢽⡻⣿⣿⣿⣽⣵⣾⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣗⣿⡟⠈⠉⠚⢽⣻⢷⡝⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⣯⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢞⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢿⣿⣿⣯⡶⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣼⣟⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⡯⣿⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠛⠀⠈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⡭⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠐⠤⢀⡀⠀⢀⣙⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021

Rick and Morty

Black and white filter feature for League of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie, I've noticed that recently you've been using the black and white filter™ feature for league of legends for nearly the entire game. Me and everyone else in the chat would appreciate it if you turn it off, thank you.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Self-proclaimed 138 IQ alpha male on r/Stellaris

Lol... what we have here, is called a "normie," per se. You see, the original meme, that you are referencing, mentions David, not Jason. It is quite a popular meme and the name is pretty hard to forget, so my down-vote is on you (double entendre hehe), buddy boy.
October 2021

iamverysmart

Text-to-Speech Playing