[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Only the chosen one can stack 7 Doritos chips

Only the chosen o DoritosChip ne can stack the doritoes one by one can you st DoritosChip ack the doritoes like a man or cry like a little baby DoritosChip scrub. Three doritoes is for pussies, chosen one DoritosChip  PogChamp wants to stack higher. Is four to little for yo DoritosChip u how about five. NO Way PogChamp wants six No no DoritosChip no PogChamp wants SEVEN of it. The real and only chos DoritosChip en one is always me.
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February 2017

Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone

twitchquotes: (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Now watch closely Twitch Chat as Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone. (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢)
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Reynad

Hearthstone

Hey raynad im a 11 year old boy named Dan

twitchquotes: Hey raynad im a 11 year old boy named Dan and i watched your stream. My mom walked in on my watching you and she saw you drinking the beers. She beat me with a shoe and made me sleep outside in the dog house becsuse of you
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November 2014
Reynad

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

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