[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
January 2024

Reddit

Profesionali playertti of Defenders of the Agnolotti

twitchquotes: hello, il mio nome is GIROLAMO SAVORANOLA I my italiano. I want be profesionali playeretti of Defenders of the Agnolotti. the I sold all my spaghetti so i can bought a branderini new coputterini and farma all gaems. Per favore no coperinato pasterinato caramel macchiato
twitch chat
March 2014
Riot Games

Yes Chad (Nordic Gamer)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠂⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠷⠤⣄⠈⠛⠦⣀⠀⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠤⣘⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠓⠢⢤⣀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⢀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠄⡀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⡶⠤⣄⡈⠳⣤⡀⠀⠙⠲⣄⡀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⡐⠀⣈⣁⣠⡀⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣷⣤⡙⢦⣤⣍⣓⣦⣰⣶⡽⣷⣶⡟⠛⠿⠿⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠋⠈⠉⠙⠉⠉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢦⣙⡄⠀⠉⠉⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠏⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣦⣀⣤⣶⣒⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⢀⣠⡶⠛⠉⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠚⠛⣦⠤⡤⠬⡙⠓⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢿⡉⠀⠒⠢⡄⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠆⠀⣻⣛⣂⣤⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣏⠳⣽⣤⡴⠦⡌⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⡌⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠳⡄⢸⡇⠀⢀⠇⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣴⡋⠹⣗⡙⠻⡇⠀⠈⣰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢿⠀⠹⢦⡀⢨⡁⣇⢀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣤⣤⣶⣤⣤⡨⠀⢰⠖⠒⢤⡀⡼⡇⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡏⠘⠦⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠦⠴⠖⠒⠋⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢠⡀⢨⡙⠦⢤⣸⠟⡆⢠⢻⠃⢷⠀⠀⠘⠦⠀⠀⠁⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣦⣵⣄⠉⡀⠀⠈⢿⠁⢴⡾⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠚⣿⠿⠶⠶⠶⣦⠃⡴⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠾⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣦⠀⣠⡴⠶⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⠀⣿⠉⠄⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢯⠇⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠈⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡾⢀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⢰⣏⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣤⣴⠋⠄⠀⡄⠈⡻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⣷⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠙⠋⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡀⠄⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⡀⢀⣬⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣄⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⣀⣠⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: My son the day you were born, the very websites of internet whispered the name: Kripparian.My child, I watched with pride as you grew into a gamer of hardcoreness.Remember, our family always played hardcore with friends and I know you will never play casual scrubcore shit, but the truest hardcoreness is my son is the entertaining your viewers. I tell you this for when my days come to an end you shall not be casual.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing