[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Anime girl 15

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣀⠸⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢸⠸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⣿⣿⠁⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⡏⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠾⣿⣟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠋⣿⡿⠚⠋⠁⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⣳⡶⡦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡇⡿⠉⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠽⢲⠇⠣⠐⠚⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣾⡏⣷⠀⠀⣼⣷⡧⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠳⣿⣇⢈⣿⠟⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣝⣿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣷⣿⣿⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠻⡏⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣟⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡰⠋⣴⣿⣟⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⢻⣦⠉⢆⠀⠀ ⢠⠇⡔⣿⠏⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣜⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠹⣷⡈⡄⠀ ⠀⡸⣴⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠀⢻⡿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣰⠿⠤⠒⡛⢹⣿⠄ ⠀⣿⣷⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀ ⠀⠈⠿⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢞⠌⡹⠁⠀⠀⢻⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢳⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡇⠁⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀⠀⠐⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠕⣠⡄⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠠⡪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⣽⡋⠭⠶⠮⢽⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣓⣽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Weebs

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Message from 4/20 Blazeit foundation

twitchquotes: This is a message from the 4/20 blazeit foundation. If you would like to donate to the DESTROY THE NAZI MODS cause, please type into the chat, thank you, and remember to raise your donger
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March 2014
Kripp

5Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⣿ ⡟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄ ⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡇⢠ ⣿⡀⠈⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣀⠄⠄⣾ ⣿⣧⢠⣖⣀⡀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣤⡶⢿⣿⡄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⢿⣦⣬⣙⣒⡤⣌⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣚⣭⣴⣶⣿⡟⣼⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣬⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡹⣯⣿⠿⠦⠬⣭⣭⣥⣼⠾⢿⣿⡿⠟⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⢷⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⠛⠛⠟⠛⢛⣡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

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