[Copypasta] Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021
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More Copypastas

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

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HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: 📞 BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD 📞 BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG 📞 BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

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May 2021

Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing