I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼ ͠ ͠°〜 ͜ʖ〜 ͠ ͠° ༽ﾉ¤=[———— Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya. You killed my Kappa. Prepare to die.
twitch chat
Classic
A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Timed out for 525 seconds for typing hahaha
twitchquotes:
I got timed out for 525 seconds for typing hahaha, In this time I realized that twitch originated from Nazi Germany and thus I grew the most manly pubic hair in my entire life and ate it to sooth my pains. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
strifecro
Imagine complaining about aim assist
twitchquotes:
Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
Fortnite
Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.