[Copypasta] I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Drama Popcorn

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⠛⠛⠻⣦⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⠶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡾⠿⠀⢠⣶⠟⠻⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣟⠀⠀⢀⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢿⠟⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢰⡟⠉⢻⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣧⣄⡀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⢿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠟⠀⣀⣾⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣿⠿⣿⡷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣇⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠙⠻⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡇⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣤⣀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢰⣿⣿⡇⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠈⣻⡿⠿⢷⣦⡀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⢀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠄⠀⠀⢰⡟⠁⠀⠀⢹⣷⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡏⢀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⣷⣄⣀⣠⣴⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠻⠷⠶⢿⣦⣤⣴⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2022

I love you future self!

twitchquotes: Hey youtube! HeyGuys It's me from the past! Remember when I wrote this and then it happened and now I'm watching this again on YouTube watching my message pass! I love you future self! KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing