[Copypasta] I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. Iโ€™d brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyโ€™d be compelled to approach. โ€œThatโ€™s very cool,โ€ theyโ€™d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyโ€™d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. โ€œBut as it is volcanic glass, itโ€™s very fragile, you see, and isnโ€™t well-suited for use as a weapโ€”โ€ and then Iโ€™d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hแด‡ส Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, I แดกแด€s แดŠแดœsแด› ษขส€แดแดœษดแด…แด‡แด… า“แดส€ แดกแด€แด›แด„สœษชษดษข สแดแดœส€ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แด. Mส แด˜แด€ส€แด‡ษดแด›s sแด€แดก สแดแดœส€ "ส™ส€แดา“ษชsแด›" แด€ษดแด… แด›สœแดแดœษขสœแด› สแดแดœ แดกแด‡ส€แด‡ แด›แด‡แด€แด„สœษชษดษข แดแด‡ แด›แด ส™แด‡แด€แด› แด˜แด‡แดแด˜สŸแด‡ แดœแด˜, แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแดก I แด„แด€ษด'แด› แดกแด€แด›แด„สœ แด›แดกษชแด›แด„สœ แด€ษดสแดแดส€แด‡. Iา“ I แด‡แด แด‡ส€ sแด‡แด‡ สแดแดœ ษชษด ส€แด‡แด€สŸ สŸษชา“แด‡, I'สŸสŸ ษขษชแด แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€ ส™ส€แดา“ษชsแด› sแด›ส€แด€ษชษขสœแด› ษชษด สแดแดœส€ แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แดษดษชs. Tสœแด€ษดแด‹s า“แดส€ ส€แดœษชษดษชษดษข แดส สŸษชา“แด‡, แด€ssสœแดสŸแด‡.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Thinking Emoji

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
May 2017

Classic

Masturbating to Dream during class

December 2021

Dreamgender

Minecraft

NSFW

CLG is fantastic

twitchquotes: CLG is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, map awareness, laning, vision control, csing, poking, landing skillshots, objective control, early game, mid game, late game, ganking, and getting kills.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing