So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
SAVE THE INTERNET
twitchquotes:
"SAVE THE INTERNET" refers to the imminent removal of net neutrality, which requires Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to treat the provision of internet service as a UTILITY not a LUXURY, thereby requiring them to provide it FAIRLY to EVERYONE, and not just people/businesses who pay premiums to receive the same service as before. It also restricts them from unfairly throttling speeds and access to specific websites. If net neutrality is abolished, Twitch will be inaccessible to most Americans.
twitch chat
Masculinity is now illegal
As of this morning ๐, masculinity ๐ช๐๐ is NO ๐ซโ LONGER ๐ LEGAL ๐โ. If you ๐ are masculine ๐ด, please ๐๐โโ๏ธ report ๐ to your ๐๐ผ nearest ๐ Femboy ๐๐โโ๏ธ Education ๐ Center ๐ขโ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐๐๐ thigh-high socks ๐งฆ. Those who fail ๐ซ to follow ๐ฃ these orders ๐๐ WILL BE CANCELLED โ๐ท๐ก.
Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance
twitchquotes:
๐ถYou owned a car ๐๐ for 4โฐ๐
yearsโฐ๐. You๐ถ named it๐ฑ Brad๐ฑ. You๐โค๐ loved๐Brad๐๐. And then you๐ถโ totaledโ ๐ง๐๐ him๐ฆ. You two ๐๐had been through everything ๐ฌtogether๐ญ. ๐ฌ2 boyfriends๐ฌ, ๐จ๐ง3 jobs๐ซ,โ nothing โcould replace๐ฑ Brad๐๐. Then Liberty Mutual๐๐๐ calls, and you break into your ๐happy๐ ๐dance๐๐๐.
twitch chat
Kripp's high time in coma
twitchquotes:
Kripp, this is doctor Jeffrey Shih from the Athens General Hospital. Youโve been in a coma for several years now due to an overload of copypasta. Iโm trying out a new method to get through to you. Please wake up! Your family misses you very much. Please wake up, you *** retard!
twitch chat
Kripp
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโs a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.