[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Pikachu

░░░░░░░░▀████▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█ ░░░░░░░░░░█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄░░░░▄▄▀▀█ ░░▄░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ░▄▀░▀▄░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█░░░░░█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄░░█░░░░░▀██▀░░░░░██▄█ ░▀▄░░░░▄▀░█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ░░█░░▄▀░░█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ░█░░░█░░█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀
September 2016

Pokemon

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There's more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.
March 2021

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

ASS 2

March 2021

NSFW

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing