[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

AYAYAYou

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣌⡛⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⢿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠢⣍⡛⢌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢡⣾⡿⠭⠝⣛⠻⠿⢿⣷⣌⡻⣷⡄⡹ ⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣷⢸⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡀⢡⣼⣿⣿⣦⣬⣷⣦⣤⣍⣛⠜⣿⡜ ⣿⣿⢣⣆⠻⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣁⣐⡻⠿⠄⠙⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣍⢩⣤⣝ ⣿⡏⡼⢏⣀⠹⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣴⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⠖⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⠿⠟⣋⣭⠭⣵⣾⣿⣶⡶⠾⠭⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⣿⢿⢸⣿⣿ ⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢘⣋⣍⣝⠊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣶⣃⣾⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢈⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⢣⠋⠶⠶⢊⢹⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢾⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⠿⠛⢣⠃⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⢛⣓⠸⢟⣛⠘⣩⣶⣶⡌⡼⠋⣿⡸⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠿⠋⣀⣀⠄⣠⡜⣿ ⠈⠙⠂⠛⠿⠃⣩⣴⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣷⣱⣮⠭⠭⢔⣒⣩⡴⢚⣨⡜⣡⣾⣿⣷⠹
June 2021

I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021

AYAYA star

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡴⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠶⢦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠈⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠁⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠸⣇⠉⠻⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⠟⠉⣸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠹⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡆⠄⠄⠙⠷⣦⣴⠾⠋⠄⠄⢰⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣧⠄ ⢰⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢀⣤⡾⠋⠙⢷⣤⡀⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡆ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣷⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠟⠉⢻⡄⠄ AYAYA ⠄⣾⡟⠉⠻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⢀⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿ ⠸⣧⠾⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢾⣷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣾⡷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠷⣼⠇ ⠄⢻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡟⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣇⣸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠳⠶⣦⣤⣼⣧⣤⣴⠶⠞⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Weebs

NON-SUB-ONLY mode

twitchquotes: ATTENTION: The stream is now in NON-SUB-ONLY mode. If you would like to continue watching Kripparrian, please unsubscribe!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

plebs vs subs

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