[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I awoke from my coma and muted the stream

twitchquotes: I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
September 2014

Classic

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Lenny face centipede

β•šβ•( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ …..β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ β€¦β€¦β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ ………(β–ˆ) ……….*
December 2020

NOW WE RUCKUS

twitchquotes: (β•­ΰ²° η›Šβ€’Μ)/ NOW WE RUCKUS (β•­ΰ²° η›Šβ€’Μ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

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