[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?

I don’t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. There’s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I can’t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like they’re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. I’m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that I’m not being weird for it. Please tell me there’s someone who feels the same thing
May 2022

Reddit

DL aka β€œDropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL

twitchquotes: DL aka β€œDropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his β€œEveryone is trash” mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
March 2020
Doublelift

League of Legends

Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Le Boobhead has arrived

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘(◐)β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘(◐)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘leβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘boobheadβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘hasβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘arrivedβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
July 2017

Classic

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ Ν β€’ Ω„Νœ β€’ ΰΌ½ Κœα΄‡ΚŸΚŸα΄ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsα΄€Ι΄! α΄›ΚœΙͺs Ιͺs α΄›Κœα΄‡ sα΄€ΚŸα΄›-α΄›Κ€α΄œα΄„α΄‹-α΄…Κ€Ιͺᴠᴇʀ. Ιͺ'ᴍ Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄‡ ᴛᴏ α΄…α΄‡ΚŸΙͺᴠᴇʀ Κα΄α΄œΚ€ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ α΄©α΄œΚ€α΄‡ sα΄€ΚŸα΄› κœ°Κ€α΄α΄ α΄›Κœα΄‡ κœ°α΄€α΄α΄α΄œs sα΄€ΚŸα΄›α΄Ιͺɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋÀᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴒɴ" ΙͺΙ΄ α΄›Κœα΄‡ α΄€ΚŸα΄©s. Ιͺꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'α΄… ʟΙͺᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sα΄€ΚŸα΄›, ΚŸα΄‡α΄› ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴑ! ɒᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sΙͺΚ€! ΰΌΌ Ν β€’ Ω„Νœ β€’ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing