[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans ⎝ Kappa
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

fire fox is sus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣠⠴⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣎⠁⡀⠀⣀⡀⣩⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣏⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢔⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣬⣿⣿⣷⣿⠿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣶⢾⣤⢤⠀⢀⡈⠛⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣷⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠀⠀⢀⣳⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⡾⣟⣋⣲⠁⠘⣿⣿⣴⡆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣟⣀⣎⣁⣠⣼⣶⣿⠃⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡁⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣽⣻⣿⣟⠶⢶⣒⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣾⡫⠿⣯⣿⠿⣿⡿⡿⣊⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣝⡿⣿⣿⡿⡟⢈⢰⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣏⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣾⣷⣯⣿⣴⣶⡞⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣦⡤⠶⠛⡳⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡗⠀⢸⠓⠢⠘⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣇⣤⣄⣿⣷⣤⣨⣢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣏⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣟⣶⡿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⡀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠛⠋⠙⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠟⣫⣽⣿⡿⠷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡟⠉⣀⣀⣉⣻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⢀⣾⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣿⠀⢸⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣼⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣩⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣦⣶⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣶⣾⡿⠁⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢟⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠤⠄⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿⣿⡽⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

WHERE IS SODAPOPPIN?

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ PANTS ARE DOWN, DICK IS FLOPPIN, WHERE THE FUCK IS SODAPOPPIN ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
May 2019
sodapoppin

Hunters are compelled by a mysterious force to attack face

twitchquotes: After months of careful and thorough research, I have discovered that Hunters, quite literally, do NOT have the capacity to trade minions. They are physically unable to attack an opponents minion with one of theirs. They a compelled by some mysterious force to mindlessly attack the face of their opponent.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both asses. ⎝ Kreygasm
twitch chat
June 2016
Text-to-Speech Playing