[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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Huntard is confused

twitchquotes: ο½ˆο½•ο½Žο½”ο½ο½’ο½„ is ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½†ο½•ο½“ο½…ο½„οΌŽ ο½•ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½”ο½ο½‹ο½…ο½’ was ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ο½…ο½„ ο½”ο½•ο½’ο½Ž ο½ο½Žο½…οΌŒ but ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½Žο½…ο½Žο½” ο½Œο½‰ο½–ο½…ο½“οΌŽ οΌ₯ο½–ο½…ο½Ž ο½‡ο½’ο½…ο½…ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½“ ο½”ο½’ο½ο½–ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½…ο½’ ο½ο½Žο½„ overpowered doge card did ο½Žο½ο½” ο½—ο½ο½Žο½Žο½…ο½’ο½…ο½„οΌŽ οΌ‘ ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½Œο½… tear ο½’ο½ο½Œο½Œο½“ ο½„ο½ο½—ο½Ž ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ face as ο½ˆο½… ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½ƒο½…ο½„ο½…ο½“οΌŽ time to craft ο½‡ο½ο½ˆο½šο½‰ο½Œο½Œο½οΌŽ
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Kripp

WutFace crazy arms

twitchquotes: β•²βŽβ§Ήβ•²βŽβ§Ή WutFace β§ΈβŽ β•±β§ΈβŽ β•±
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This is the police!

twitchquotes: This is the police! Get your dongers in the air f***ers - you have been caught red handed. Stop with the copy paste right now or we will be forced to use Police Brutality. Don't try to get away with it by copying this and impersonating us!
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imaqtpie

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Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; β€˜Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say β€˜no’ I reply with β€˜are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
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