[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

Prize pool of 4 potatoes

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Boris Ilya Pistolento. I'm from a small village in cold Siberia. For many years I dreamed of a profession, Cardstone player! But tetris all I can do. One day a trucker was crash in the back of the house of mine and a box fell out. It was the commodore 64, my dreaming is comming to reality. Now I can join the local tournamento, the prize pool of which 4 potatoes. Please no Copy-Pasta!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œSol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime!

twitchquotes: α••β”Œβ—•α—œβ—•β”α•— Dongers in the morning, dongers in the evening, dongers at suppertime. If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime! α••β”Œβ—•α—œβ—•β”α•—
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos, since you left our exports of 'BROFISTS' have dropped to 0 and the economy is in shambles. What little food we can afford is used to feed a sad betrayed cat we found. Please come back.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing