[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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Is today the day when I finally end it all?

twitchquotes: VoteYea VoteNay Is today the day when I should finally end it all? โŽ FeelsGoodMan ๐Ÿ”ซ
twitch chat
August 2016

Imposter

โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ
ascii art
January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Iโ€™m sick and tired of people stating that Hunter takes no skill

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m sick and tired of people stating that Hunter takes no skill. What about when you have to play Unleash and go face, or how about when you have to equip the bow and go face. Then thereโ€™s those times where you have to drop Wolfrider or Arcane Golum and go face. Seriously people just hate because they don't appreciate how hard it is to smash your head on the keyboard and still manage to click the arrow on your opponents Face. No Copy Pastachino Cappachino Postachio Mochachino Hunterino Pepperino Jelly Queeno
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a ไธญไบŒ level was a worthwhile ไฝฟใ„ๆ–น of ใŠๅ‰'s time, but one can't expect that an individual as ็พž่€ป as ใƒ†ใƒก will ever know the value of the ไปฒ้–“ you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are ใ™ใ”ใ„ ใ‚ญใƒขใ„ by you. Thousands of years of ่‡ช็„ถ้€ฒๅŒ– have allowed ไพ to identify ๅฝ็‰ฉ่ชž from mannerisms and ่จ€่ชžๅŠ› alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a ้‡Ž่‰ฏ็Šฌ somehow passes as normal (ใ—ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ€ใฉ้˜ฟๅ‘†), any Soul Eater person will immediately ไธกๆ–ญใ€€all ่ฟทใ„ใ€€when they ่žใ the ๅฃฐ and ๅบƒๅณถ-ben of someone who is not only a basic ไธ‹ๅฟ at best, but worth no more than ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚น in skills, accomplishments, and no ใƒฏใ‚คใƒ• yes ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰. You will never be ๅนธใ›ใŠใกใ‚ƒใ‚ๆฉŸ่ƒฝใ€‚ You wrench out a ๅฝ็ฌ‘ใ„ and ๏ฝ—๏ฝ—๏ฝ—่‰ to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own ่ˆน้•ท, as you project your disgusting traits onto your ๅง”ๅ“ก้•ท. However, deep inside you feel the ไธๅฎ‰ creeping up like a ๆกœ, ready to crush you under the ใƒใ‚นใƒˆ2ไธ‰ไธ€ใ€€Zzใ€€ใ‚ฌใƒณใƒ€ใƒ , and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new ใƒชใ‚นใƒŠใƒผ in which to be ็„ก่ฆ–, and not even the exotic trait of beingใ€€ๆตทๅค–ใƒ‹ใƒƒใ‚ญ makes up for just how uninteresting of a ็„ก่จ€่ตคใ‚นใƒ‘ you are. Eventually itโ€™ll be too much to bear - youโ€™ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold ใฏใ‚ใกใ‚ƒใพ. Your ใƒžใƒž will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearableใ€€ๆฅใ–ใ‚‰ใ— and ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚นๆญปใญ. Theyโ€™ll bury you with a ๅฆ–ๆ€ช marked with your ้ ˜ๅŸŸๅฑ•้–‹, and every ไธŠๅผฆใฎ้ฌผ for the rest of eternity will know a ้ป’่ˆน is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ใ‚ฎใƒซใ‚ถใƒฌใƒณ that is ่ชžใ‚Š้ƒจๅนฝ้œŠ. This is your ้‹ๅ‘ฝ. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. ๆ†Žใ„ yourself and ่ฌใ‚Œ for being ใƒชใ‚ขๅ…… to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021
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