[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The πŸ’° intent πŸ’° is πŸ’° to πŸ’° provide πŸ’° players πŸ’° with πŸ’° a πŸ’° sense πŸ’° of πŸ’° pride πŸ’° and πŸ’° accomplishment πŸ’° for πŸ’° unlocking πŸ’° different πŸ’° heroes. πŸ’° As πŸ’° for πŸ’° cost, πŸ’° we πŸ’° selected πŸ’° initial πŸ’° values πŸ’° based πŸ’° upon πŸ’° data πŸ’° from πŸ’° the πŸ’° Open πŸ’° Beta πŸ’° and πŸ’° other πŸ’° adjustments πŸ’° made πŸ’° to πŸ’° milestone πŸ’° rewards πŸ’° before πŸ’° launch. πŸ’° Among πŸ’° other πŸ’° things, πŸ’° we're πŸ’° looking πŸ’° at πŸ’° average πŸ’° per-player πŸ’° credit πŸ’° earn πŸ’° rates πŸ’° on πŸ’° a πŸ’° daily πŸ’° basis, πŸ’° and πŸ’° we'll πŸ’° be πŸ’° making πŸ’° constant πŸ’° adjustments πŸ’° to πŸ’° ensure πŸ’° that πŸ’° players πŸ’° have πŸ’° challenges πŸ’° that πŸ’° are πŸ’° compelling, πŸ’° rewarding, πŸ’° and πŸ’° of πŸ’° course πŸ’° attainable πŸ’° via πŸ’° gameplay. We πŸ’° appreciate πŸ’° the πŸ’° candid πŸ’° feedback, πŸ’° and πŸ’° the πŸ’° passion πŸ’° the πŸ’° community πŸ’° has πŸ’° put πŸ’° forth πŸ’° around πŸ’° the πŸ’° current πŸ’° topics πŸ’° here πŸ’° on πŸ’° Reddit, πŸ’° our πŸ’° forums πŸ’° and πŸ’° across πŸ’° numerous πŸ’° social πŸ’° media πŸ’° outlets. Our πŸ’° team πŸ’° will πŸ’° continue πŸ’° to πŸ’° make πŸ’° changes πŸ’° and πŸ’° monitor πŸ’° community πŸ’° feedback πŸ’° and πŸ’° update πŸ’° everyone πŸ’° as πŸ’° soon πŸ’° and πŸ’° as πŸ’° often πŸ’° as πŸ’° we πŸ’° can. πŸ’°
twitch chat
November 2017

Incorrect Dongerhood, Sir

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIRΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒΰΌΌ ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½ΰ² Ω„ΝŸΰ²°ΰ³ƒ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
April 2014

I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Solo is one of my favorite Star Wars movies

twitchquotes: Action-packed, fast-paced while exploring deeper themes of oppression, power, and values... what's not to love?! Solo is personally one of my favorite Star Wars movies. Plenty of throwbacks to the old films while offering some foreshadowing. [$0.25 deposited in your PayPalβ„’. Remember to delete this part before posting]
twitch chat
September 2018

sellout

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