[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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More Copypastas

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

You used ect instead of etc

Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc." "Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
May 2022

I Am Very Smart

I LOVE YOU CHAT

⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⠛⢻⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣶⡄⠄⢻⡀⠈⣿⡇⠄⣼⡇⠄⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⢸⣇⠄⢹⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⣀⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⠉⠉⣷⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣾⣿⡄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡇⠄⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⠟⠛⣻⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠏⠄⣰⡏⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⢿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣰⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣧⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣿⣇⠄⠙⠋⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⣴⣦⣀⣽⡇⠄⠿⠿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠁⢀⠄⢻⣧⣤⡄⠄⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⣿⣿⠿⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠾⠄⠈⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⠁⠄⣼⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⠄⢠⣤⣄⠄⢹⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2019

Here in my garage

twitchquotes: Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”
twitch chat
August 2018
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