[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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I'm reporting all of you spammers to the Twitch CEO

twitchquotes: Ok chat I've had it. I will be reporting all of you spammers to my dad (Twitch CEO btw) and he will be banning you from Twitch. So keep it up if you want to be banned, you have only yourself to be blamed
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Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
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OverwatchLeague

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Middle finger v2

γ€€ γ€€ lニヽ γ€€ γ€€ |= | γ€€ γ€€ |_ | γ€€γ€€/βŒ’|~ |βŒ’i-、 γ€€ /|γ€€|γ€€|γ€€| | γ€€ο½œ(γ€€(γ€€(γ€€(γ€€ο½œ γ€€ο½œγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ | γ€€ οΌΌγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€/ γ€€γ€€ οΌΌγ€€γ€€γ€€ |
April 2021

Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy andpasted itto word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells
twitch chat
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Reynad

NA WHY SO QUIET?

twitchquotes: LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL
twitch chat
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EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing