[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Year 2025, Riot takes over the world

twitchquotes: The year is 2025, Riot has finished acquiring Facebook and Google as well as the country of Germany, making it the first nation in terms of GDP. All games, electronic devices, appliances and vehicles are to be produced and purchased from Riot only, failure to do so may result in being set to League Reformation Camps.
twitch chat
October 2019

League of Legends

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good β€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies πŸš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Applejack

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘.’.β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
ascii art
November 2014

I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat

twitchquotes: ᢫ᢦ˒ᡗᡉᢰ α΅˜α΅– α΅α΅’α΅—Κ°α΅‰Κ³αΆ α΅˜αΆœα΅α΅‰Κ³Λ’ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡃʳᡉ ᡃ᢫᢫ α΅ƒαΆœα΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ʷᡃʸ α΅’α΅˜α΅— α΅’αΆ  Κ°α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ αΆ°α΅’α΅— α΅ƒαΆœα΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ αΆ¦αΆ° α΅ƒαΆœαΆœα΅’Κ³α΅ˆ Κ·αΆ¦α΅—Κ° α΅—Κ·αΆ¦α΅—αΆœΚ° α΅–α΅’αΆ«αΆ¦αΆœαΆ¦α΅‰Λ’ Κ·αΆ¦α΅—Κ° ᡃ᢫᢫ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ˒ᡖᡃᡐᡐᢦᢰᡍ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡃʳᡉ ᡃ᢫˒ᡒ ʳᡘᢦᢰᢦᢰᡍ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ αΆœΚ°α΅ƒα΅— ʷʰᢦᢜʰ α΄΅ ᡖᡃʸ $4β‹…99 ᡃ ᡐᡒᢰᡗʰ α΅—α΅’ ᡉᢰʲᡒʸ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ α΄΅ ˒ʷᡉᡃʳ α΅—α΅’ α΅α΅’α΅ˆ αΆ¦αΆ  α΄΅ ˒ᡉᡉ ᡃᢰʸᡒᢰᡉ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ᡖᡃ˒ᡗᡉ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΄΅'ᡐ αΆœα΅ƒαΆ«αΆ«αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ᡗʰᡉ αΆœα΅’α΅–Λ’
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re β€” n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were β€” there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021
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