[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: β€œI’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
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League of Legends

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Holding up a sign

|οΏ£οΏ£οΏ£οΏ£οΏ£οΏ£οΏ£| |γ€€Dumbγ€€γ€€γ€€| | Opinionγ€€γ€€| | Hereγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€| |οΌΏοΌΏοΌΏοΌΏοΌΏοΌΏοΌΏ| (\__/) || (β€’γ……β€’) || / γ€€ γ₯
April 2021

I use this chant to summon Sneaky

twitchquotes: β•°( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )γ€β”€β”€β˜†γƒ»οΎŸ My di ck is small, my butthole is leaky, I use this chant to summon Sneaky β•°( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )γ€β”€β”€β˜†γƒ»οΎŸ
twitch chat
March 2016
Sneaky
Text-to-Speech Playing