[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Subs vs non-subs

twitchquotes: The best part about being a non-sub is that the chat spam seems real. If a sub is spamming it’s obvious they are just spamming for fun or to troll, because who would give money to a streamer they don’t like? By being a non-sub the possible genuine confusion and disinterest is actually there. And that’s something subs can’t get.
twitch chat
July 2020

Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves

⡿⡿⣻⢿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠊⠌⠌⠌⠂⠊⠄⠂⠙⠿⠻⡻⠻⢛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣻ ⣗⡽⡮⡷⣽⣺⣽⣿⣾⠟⠈⠄⠄⡀⢁⠂⢘⠈⡈⡠⠁⠄⢀⠘⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠳⠻⣯⣿⣽⣞⣵⡳ ⣗⢯⢫⢯⣷⡿⣽⠏⡁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢄⠅⠐⡂⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠐⡑⠄⠌⡄⠅⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⣳⢯ ⣿⡴⣤⠅⢓⢹⢜⠁⡀⠄⠄⡡⠈⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠠⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣟ ⠿⢿⠻⢝⣿⡿⢢⢁⢀⢑⠌⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣴⣴⣬⣄⣀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⣸⣾⣛⢈⠄⢸⠐⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⡀⣜⣞⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⢴⢼⣐⢬⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⠋⣀⣵⣿⣽⡇⢃⢘⠜⠅⠈⠄⠄⢀⢔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢾⢿⣳⢷⢿⡯⣷⣿⡌⠄⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⡟⣾⠇⢠⠧⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⣰⣿⣿⣯⡏⣯⢿⢽⡹⣏⢿⡺⡱⢑⠽⡹⡺⣜⢄⠅⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣾⣻⢳⣝⡯⢡⢹⣇⠄⠐⠄⠄⢠⣺⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⢽⡵⣽⡺⣝⢎⢎⢶⢕⢌⢭⢣⢑⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⠧⢃⡳⠉⡈⢮⠃⠄⠄⠇⠄⣔⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣯⣯⢿⢼⡪⡎⡯⡝⢵⣓⢱⢱⡱⡪⡂⠄⠐⠄⠂⠄⠰⣿ ⡿⢡⢪⠄⢰⠨⣿⠁⢈⣸⠄⠄⢿⢿⣻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣮⢮⣯⣾⡵⣪⡪⡱⣹⣪⡂⠄⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣈⡖⡅⠄⢪⢴⢊⠁⢐⢸⠄⠄⡨⡢⡈⠈⠉⠻⢟⣷⡿⣟⢗⣽⡷⣿⢯⣞⣕⣧⣷⡳⠅⠄⠅⢐⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡣⡟⠜⠸⡁⣷⠁⠄⢅⢸⡀⠄⠄⠈⡀⠥⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠐⣷⡳⠙⠕⠩⠘⠁⠃⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⢆⠄⠄⠄⣸ ⣻⠍⠄⢣⣣⠏⠠⠐⠌⣪⠃⡐⢔⢌⡛⡎⡢⠄⢀⢄⢠⣳⣿⡎⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⡈⠌⠊⠄⢀⠘⠨⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⠑⠠⢂⢮⡳⠠⠂⠁⡅⡯⠐⢨⡺⡌⡯⡪⣞⣼⣵⡧⣟⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠐⡢⣒⢆⢐⢠⠁⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢻ ⢅⢢⠫⡫⠙⠨⠄⣃⢎⡗⢈⠰⠸⡸⡸⣝⣿⣿⡗⡽⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⣔⢽⣼⣗⣷⢱⠁⠄⠅⠁⠐⠄⠄⢾ ⡵⣰⠏⡐⠱⡑⢨⡬⢻⡕⠐⠈⡪⡣⡳⡱⡳⠱⢍⣳⢳⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⢵⢻⣳⣟⢎⠪⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡷⠁⡀⠄⠨⢂⣸⢉⠆⢑⠌⢠⢣⢏⢜⠜⡀⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠠⠄⠨⡗⡧⡳⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢖⠠⠄⢰⠁⢴⣃⠞⠄⠕⣈⣺⣵⡫⡢⣕⣷⣷⡀⠄⡈⢟⠝⠈⢉⡢⡕⡭⣇⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢻⡐⢔⢠⠪⡌⢌⠆⠐⢐⢨⣾⣷⡙⠌⠊⠕⠁⠄⠊⡀⠄⠠⠄⠡⠁⠓⡝⡜⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡀⠄⣿ ⠘⢨⢪⠼⠘⠅⠄⠂⠄⡀⢻⣿⣇⠃⠑⠄⠒⠁⢂⠑⡔⠄⠌⡐⠄⠂⠠⢰⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣡⢱⣶⣿ ⢢⢂⠫⡪⣊⠄⠣⡂⠂⡀⠨⠹⡐⣜⡾⡯⡯⢷⢶⢶⠶⣖⢦⢢⢪⠢⡂⡇⠅⠄⠄⠈⠄⢰⠡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠄⠧⣟⡎⢆⡃⡊⠔⢀⠄⠈⣮⢟⡽⣿⣝⡆⠅⠐⡁⠐⠔⣀⢣⢑⠐⠁⡐⠈⡀⢐⠁⠄⠈⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠁⢮⣾⡎⢰⢐⠈⢌⢂⠐⡀⠂⡝⡽⣟⣿⣽⡪⢢⠂⡨⢪⠸⠨⢀⠂⡁⢀⠂⠄⢂⢊⠖⢄⠄⢀⢨⠉⠛ ⡰⢺⣾⡗⠄⡜⢔⠡⢊⠢⢅⢀⠑⠨⡪⠩⠣⠃⠜⡈⡐⡈⡊⡈⡐⢄⠣⢀⠂⡂⡁⢂⠄⢱⢨⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2021

Getting meme'd

twitchquotes: Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing