[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡β•­ΰ²°_‒́)ΰΈ‡ Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs, foul Moderinos (ΰΈ‡β•­ΰ²°_‒́)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
March 2019

Worst Matchup

twitchquotes: Worst Matchup: Warrior βœ“ Shaman βœ“ Priest βœ“ Rogue βœ“ Druid βœ“ Warlock βœ“ Hunter βœ“ Mage βœ“ Paladin βœ“
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Ok that’s enough, sell your items

twitchquotes: πŸ“ž 4Head Hello Rookie πŸ“ž 4Head KT here πŸ“ž 4Head Ok that’s enough, sell your items πŸ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing