[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Bring on the PLEBOLUTION

twitchquotes: Dear subs, I may be a pleb but I am a human being. Please stop taking out your BDSM fantasies of caging us to satisfy your sexual frustration. Bring on the PLEBOLUTION ᕙ(ب_ب)ᕗ
twitch chat
August 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

Maplestory Lucid

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣪⣭⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⢤⢔⡾⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢰⢳⣿⣿⣿⠋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣼⣷⣻⣧⣴⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⠤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣿⣏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⣯⣾⠋⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⠀⠙⣽⣝⠋⢡⣯⣀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡷⡁⠀⡄⠀⢠⠻⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⠀⠀⠀⠙⡇⢹⣧⠛⠂⠀⢤⣉⠢⡀⠀⠀ ⡠⢊⠚⢇⣰⢣⠀⡞⠒⠣⠀⠀⠘⡄⠘⠓⠲⢆⣳⠀⠀⣠⣄⣀⣀⠙⢯⣾⡄⠀ ⣇⣇⡌⠈⡜⡌⢳⣧⣤⣄⡑⠄⣀⣳⢀⣠⣤⣴⣾⡆⠀⣿⠖⣠⣮⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀ ⠈⠛⢇⠀⠿⠷⡘⣿⢙⠿⡏⠀⠈⠉⢻⣻⣿⡏⢹⡟⣢⣿⣟⡻⠋⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠢⢤⣀⣋⡿⢮⡉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣙⠷⠛⠺⣿⣙⣛⠭⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡩⠒⠶⠲⠞⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣵⣕⣉⣫⣿⣦⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡾⡿⡟⣻⣿⡏⠱⣮⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⡛⣿⣾⣜⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣽⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2020

Weebs

A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021

A SIMP HAS FALLEN FOR AN E-GIRL IN LEGO CITY

A SIMP HAS FALLEN FOR AN E-GIRL IN LEGO CITY HEY! CONSTRUCT THE THOT PATROL AND LOCK HER UP (BEGONE THOT) NEW THOT PATROL FROM LEGO CITY setsandaccessory'ssoldseperatly *Belle Delphine squeals*
December 2020

Lego City

Simps

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing