[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE

twitchquotes: You all think these are copypastas. YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE, it is not a fucking joke. I am trying to CON-VER-SATE. You are so socially inept to even do this and I can’t carry you in this like everything else since it takes two to conversate. Pay attention. Think thoughts. Just do anything. I swear I don’t even know how your parent can tolerate you.
twitch chat
June 2020

I hate Twitch Chat

Zero viewers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⣴⣤⡀⠄⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⣿ ⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⠻⠛⠁⠄⣴⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
Forsen

LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist

LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel. Thank you.
August 2021

Supreme

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠻⠋⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠟⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠒⠶⠾⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠉⠋⠁⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢻⡇⠀⡿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣤⡄⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢹⡇⠀⠟⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣸⡇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing