[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

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Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Forsen how DARE you miss lethal

twitchquotes: Forsen how DARE you miss lethal. You are a pro gamer. I look up to you as my hearthstone mentor, perhaps even as a father figure. My dad wouldn't miss lethal, and neither should you...
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

WEEB TEST

twitchquotes: WEEB TEST VoHiYo IF YOU TOUCH THE LOLI , WATCH BOKU NO PICO ⎝ FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
July 2017

Weebs

Chat Test

Ah shit, here we go again.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⡆⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠈⣶⡆⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣾⣿⠏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣧⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠟⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Ah shit, here we go again.
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing