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[Copypasta]Tiffany's chandelier
twitchquotes:I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
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Trump nuclear ramble
Look, having nuclearâmy uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart âyou know, if youâre a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say Iâm one of the smartest people anywhere in the worldâitâs true!âbut when youâre a conservative Republican they tryâoh, do they do a numberâthatâs why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortuneâyou know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because weâre a little disadvantagedâbut you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers meâit would have been so easy, and itâs not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of whatâs going to happen and he was rightâwho would have thought?), but when you look at whatâs going on with the four prisonersânow it used to be three, now itâs fourâbut when it was three and even now, I would have said itâs all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they donât, they havenât figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, itâs gonna take them about another 150 yearsâbut the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
Look, having nuclearâmy uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart âyou know, if youâre a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say Iâm one of the smartest people anywhere in the worldâitâs true!âbut when youâre a conservative Republican they tryâoh, do they do a numberâthatâs why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortuneâyou know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because weâre a little disadvantagedâbut you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers meâit would have been so easy, and itâs not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of whatâs going to happen and he was rightâwho would have thought?), but when you look at whatâs going on with the four prisonersânow it used to be three, now itâs fourâbut when it was three and even now, I would have said itâs all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they donât, they havenât figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, itâs gonna take them about another 150 yearsâbut the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
Dyrus thinks he's smart because of his eyes
twitchquotes:Ive had enough of dyrus , racist to blind people. All I wanted was him to read out his runes and masteries but nooooo he makes me go to lolnexus.. im fking blind why do u think i asked? u and ur eyes, You think ur smart just cus of ur eyes.
Ive had enough of dyrus , racist to blind people. All I wanted was him to read out his runes and masteries but nooooo he makes me go to lolnexus.. im fking blind why do u think i asked? u and ur eyes, You think ur smart just cus of ur eyes.
Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle
twitchquotes:I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
UwU in the streets
twitchquotes:iâm an UwU in the streets but an OwO in the sheets
iâm an UwU in the streets but an OwO in the sheets
Equal rights equal fights
I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
