[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD

YOUโ€™RE ๐ŸŒฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽต I ๐Ÿ˜€ KNOW ๐Ÿ’ญ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ TOOK ๐Ÿ‘ซ MY ๐Ÿ˜ FORTNITE ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ I ๐Ÿพ KNOW ๐Ÿค” YOU ๐Ÿค– TOOK ๐Ÿคฏ MY ๐Ÿ˜˜ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฒ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ GIVE ๐Ÿšช๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿธ ME ๐Ÿ‘ˆ MY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ˜ฃ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฐ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ˜‘ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ˜ญ BETTER ๐ŸŽฐ GIVE ๐Ÿ‘น ME ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ก MY ๐Ÿฅณ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ธ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿ—ƒ I ๐Ÿ‘น NEED ๐Ÿ“ฒ MY ๐Ÿ”‘ 19 โ™ˆ DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ต FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD, ๐Ÿ’ณ NOW! ๐Ÿ“…
May 2021

Fortnite

I think my child might be british

I think my child might be british. Where did I go wrong in all of this??? What steps can I take to save him? I noticed it back in July when he seemed grumpy for our fourth of july picnic. Since then, he's been steadily getting a south L*ndon accent, drinking tea, and watching soccer. The other day I heard him call one of his friends "bruv" on the phone (which he now calls the TELLY for fucks sake!) WHAT DO I DO???
March 2021

British People

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ you โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

I just fired out why they call them Brokers

I just figured out why they call them โ€˜Brokersโ€™
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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