[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019

Donger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Yuumi isn’t so great?

twitchquotes: Yuumi isn’t so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a champion with such skill expression and movement options in League? Yuumi puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a chamption with her skill and options in the game again. Riven breaks the game. Vladimir breaks the game. Yuumi breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
May 2019

League of Legends

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust

twitchquotes: I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
November 2020
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