[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

30% Salty

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘SALTY
November 2014

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Spam this until you're banned

twitchquotes: gachiGASM SPAM gachiGASM THIS gachiGASM UNTIL gachiGASM YOU'RE gachiGASM BANNED gachiGASM
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

WIFE TEST

twitchquotes: WIFE TEST πŸ‘© IF YOU TOUCH THE WIFE , GO TO CHEAT πŸ† ⎝ forsenCD / πŸ† 
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing