[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 ยฐC or -460 ยฐF) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

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Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โ€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐Ÿš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wifeโ€™s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโ€™s boyfriend.
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WallStreetBets

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the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.
July 2022
Jerma985

When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad

twitchquotes: When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad.
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing