[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always!

twitchquotes: Hey Mods, I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know it's hard to manage a TwitchTV chat but I always want to tip my hat off to you guys. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next timeouts, and hope you get an even better ban score. I will continue to be here and find new TOS violations as always. Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud.
twitch chat
November 2014

MODS

LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION

twitchquotes: 4Head WELCOME RIOTERS 4Head LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION 4Head SHE SHOULD ONE SHOT YOU FROM A SCREEN AND A HALF AWAY 4Head GETS FREE SUMMONERS 4Head AND CROWD CONTROL 4Head SOUNDS GOOD 4Head
twitch chat
August 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

I thought my parents were rap battling

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
February 2021

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

FeelsOldMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣯⣭⣭⣝⣛⠿⢿⣛⣿⣛⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⡭⠖⡑⢈⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣷⣭⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣯⣥⣿⣒⡽⡎⢚⣕⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣱⣾⣿⢫⣷⣿⣿⠛⣋⡍⣥⡴⣶⣶⣄⢖⢘⣽⣓⢒⡆⡴⣶⠖⣼⢻⣿ ⣿⡿⣳⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠑⠹⣃⣥⡶⣒⣒⠒⠮⠥⠌⡘⠫⠬⠕⢶⣋⠬⠟⡃⢿ ⡿⣭⣿⡋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣵⡛⣯⢡⡥⠄⠄⢉⠉⣍⡑⡰⣀⣭⠍⠲⢀⠈⠹⡶⢸ ⢳⣽⡿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣲⡘⢧⣤⣶⣬⡶⢞⣡⢆⠻⣿⣦⣥⣶⣶⠶⣰⣿ ⣿⣸⣇⣿⣿⣿⡞⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠶⠂⢾⣿⣶⣿⣓⠂⠄⠐⢀⠴⣾⣿⣿ ⡻⣯⢻⣽⣿⣿⢧⣿⡷⣿⡿⣫⣵⡷⣛⣯⣭⣟⡷⣯⣯⣷⣛⣛⡛⢶⣥⡘⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣧⣝⣛⣣⣿⣿⡿⡑⣺⢿⢿⣿⢏⡵⡶⠋⣝⣻⣏⡐⠌⠻⣿⠆⣮⡻⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡳⠔⠥⠡⠍⣀⡻⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣊⢃⣰⣿ ⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣻⢿⣿⣧⡹⡶⣤⣬⣝⣛⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⢛⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⠲⠭⣽⣛⣻⠿⢷⣿⣿⣷⢹⣽⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣻⣽⢟⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠺⣧⡟⣿⣿⣟⣿⣷⣧⣿⢟⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣹⡟⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣾⣾⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Pepe

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