[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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No longer afford drugs after playing Star Wars Force Arena

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): My dad has been struggling with drug addiction for the last 20 years. After I showed him this game, he can no longer afford drugs! Thank you Star Warsβ„’: Force Arena! SeemsGood
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February 2017
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If two virgins fuck...

If two virgins fuck and take each other's virginity, shouldn't they still have one each? Because, think about it... The definition of take is to capture and receive something, like, if little Bob got 10 dollars and I rudely took it from him, he'd most likely cry, but I'd also gain 10 dollars since I took 10 dollars from him, no? Shouldn't it be the same with virginity, but hopefully, just without the crying? You take a virginty and lose one in the process, so it should be plus-minus zero, I should still have one virginty left? So if I only fuck virgins, will I be a virgin forever? And can I have multiple virginities if I take from other virgins?
September 2021

LilZ

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–Œβ–“β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘ β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–€β–’β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Please refrain from likening us to plebeians

twitchquotes: Twitch streamers and their subscribers define us (not subscribed audience) as members of a lower social class, plebs as they call it. I find it inappropriate to compare us with ancient Rome's lowest class as there is nothing ignominious to being a member of the proletariat. Also their living standards were significantly inferior to ours (e.g. health, education) so the comparison is unsound. In the future, please refrain from likening us to plebeians because descriminating due to economic and social status like that is reprehensible in our modern society.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

plebs vs subs

What is inside that taco? Oh no it's Kripp's arena run

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0-3 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S KRIPP'S ARENA RUN LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing