[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Bongo cat 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⡀⠀⢀⣴⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣯⣭⣬⣉⣽⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁ ⠘⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Easter emoji pasta

April 2021

Emoji Pasta

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

OGN's mods

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ OGN, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Hɪᴛʟᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʀʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇғs.
twitch chat
March 2014
OGN Hearthstone

G2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⣾⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠂⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣦⡬⢙⠛⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⡋⢥⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣇⢸⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⢾⣿⡇⣸⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣟⠻⣿⣷⣦⡹⢏⣴⣾⣿⠏⢻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢀⡀⠹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠏⠵⣚⣾⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄ ⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⡸⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣖⣾⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣧⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⣩⣥⠆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⡿⠃⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⡇⣿⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⠘⢿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
August 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing