I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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T U C K F R U M P brofist edition
twitchquotes:
โญโฉโฎ ( ยฐ อสอกยฐ)โญโฉโฎ Hey F R U M P, here's a " T U C K " for you. โญโฉโฎ( ยฐ อสอกยฐ)โญโฉโฎ
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Trump
Kripp ignores chat draft
twitchquotes:
As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
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Kripp
Hearthstone
I ๐ bless ๐ the rains ๐ง down โฌ๏ธ in Africa
twitchquotes:
I ๐ bless ๐ the rains ๐ง down โฌ๏ธ in Africa ๐I ๐ bless ๐ the rains โ down โฌ๏ธ in Africa ๐(I ๐ bless ๐ the rain ๐ง)I ๐ bless ๐ the rains โdown โฌ๏ธ in Africa ๐(I ๐ bless ๐ the rain ๐ง)I ๐ bless ๐ the rains โ down โฌ๏ธ in Africa ๐I ๐ bless ๐ the rains ๐ง down โฌ๏ธ in Africa ๐
twitch chat
Professional headmeat physician
twitchquotes:
ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
Tyler1
One day I'll be a real dong
twitchquotes:
(เธ โขฬ_โขฬ)เธ ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL DONG (เธ โขฬ_โขฬ)เธ
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Kripp