[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Sunglasses

โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘
April 2020

Your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire to continue using our services please renew your account by logging into your account and from the home page go to: My account > Viewbot Status > Renew subscription. This message will repeat until the end of your subscription in 72 hours. Thank you for your dedicated service.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Viewbots

Classic

Lenny face centipede

โ•šโ•( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆ..โ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ(โ–ˆ) โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.*
December 2020

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ .โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ โ˜ช โœก โ€  โ˜จ โœž โœ โ˜ฅ โ˜ฆ โ˜“ โ™ โ˜ฉ
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat

twitchquotes: Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat, I heard that you were complaining about my excesive meowing. I dont complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
October 2015
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing