I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Response to "who asked?"
I don't care if you "didn't ask". The world does not revolve around you and I can say whatever the fuck I want, and I could not care less if you didn't ask so shut the fuck up. This is why you are lonely and everyone leaves you.
Who Asked?
Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team
twitchquotes:
Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Hey I'm a really nice guy
twitchquotes:
Hey I'm a really nice guy. I've been playing csgo for quite a while and I'm feeling like boosting some girl gamers (preferably ones that look kinda good, I'd appreciate if you could send a picture before beginning.) and this because often when I talk to girls otherwise they don't take my csgo-skill in to consideration. Many girls through the years did friendzone me and I'm really tired of all douchebags taking the girls who deserve better.
twitch chat
CSGO
Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters
twitchquotes:
๐ โ๏ธ 
๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป [streamer name] , ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฏ๐พ๐ต๐ต๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ช๐ซ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ.
๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป [streamer name] , ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฏ๐พ๐ต๐ต๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ช๐ซ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ.
twitch chat
Trolling My Office With Among Us
There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.