[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: β€’ ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight β€’ ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor β€’ ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) β€’ ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns β€’ ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man β€’ ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" β€’ ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos β€’ ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) β€’ ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Pikachu eyes

β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β™‚β™€β™‚β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–ˆ β™‚β™€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„
September 2018

Pokemon

If any of you copy and paste this you will be in serious trouble

twitchquotes: αΆ¦ ˒ʷᡉᡃʳ α΅—α΅’ α΅α΅’α΅ˆ αΆ¦αΆ  ᡃᢰʸ α΅’αΆ  ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ α΅α΅’α΅—Κ°α΅‰Κ³Κ³αΆ α΅˜αΆœα΅α΅‰Κ³Λ’ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ᡖᡃ˒ᡗᡉ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ Κ·αΆ¦αΆ«αΆ« ᡇᡉ αΆ¦αΆ° Λ’α΅‰Κ³αΆ¦α΅’α΅˜Λ’ α΅—Κ³α΅’α΅˜α΅‡αΆ«α΅‰
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

Volcanosaur is pretty good with cannot be targeted adapt

twitchquotes: That Volcanosaur is pretty good with cannot be targeted adapt
twitch chat
May 2017

Hearthstone

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