[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD

twitchquotes: Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
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August 2015
Kripp

Parrot is just of new cat

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇsᴛ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴘᴀʀʀᴏᴛ. ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɴᴇᴡ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴍʏ ʙᴇᴀᴋ ᴀᴄʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀ sʜɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʀᴀɴɪᴀ sᴇxʏ ʙᴇᴅ sᴏᴜɴᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʟᴀᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ
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March 2014
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Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
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January 2019

United Nations logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢉⣀⣤⣤⣶⡆⢰⣶⡤⢤⣀⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠠⣾⡿⠛⠁⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣩⣤⡄⢠⡆⢰⣤⣀⣠⣍⡙⠛⠋⠙⢿⣦⠈⠛⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢀⣴⣄⠘⠛⢁⣠⣎⣿⣿⠿⠛⠒⠃⠘⠛⠛⠏⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠃⣠⣦⡀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢰⣿⣿⡿⢃⣀⠙⢿⠛⢉⣠⣴⣶⣿⡇⢸⣿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⢠⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⠃⢀⠘⢿⣿⠇⠛⠉⡁⢈⠉⠛⠻⣿⡿⠃⡀⠐⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⣿⡄⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿ ⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢀⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣦⠀⠁⢴⣾⣿⠇⠸⡿⠷⠆⠈⠀⠴⠁⠀⠀⢸⣄⡀⠸⣿⣿⡀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠁⣼⣿⡿⠀⣾⣿⡇⣰⡿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠆⢀⣿⣷⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍ ⠀⢇⠀⠀⡐⠀⣿⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠃⣿⠃⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⠀⢂⠀⠀⡸⠀ ⠀⠘⠄⠘⠀⢀⣿⠀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⡤⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⢀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⠀⣿⡀⠀⠃⠠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣈⠀⢳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡔⢸⣿⣿⠁⣸⣿⡿⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠡⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢹⡆⠈⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣧⠀⠁⢰⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⠇⢰⡏⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠌ ⠀⠁⢆⠀⡎⠀⠈⣿⡄⠠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢁⣴⣶⣮⡉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⣾⡟⠏⢠⣾⣷⠎⢠⣿⠁⠀⢱⠀⡰⠈⠀ ⣆⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⢁⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠇⣠⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢈⠎⠀⠀⣰ ⣿⡦⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠈⠷⡄⠻⢿⠿⢃⣀⠀⠴⣶⣶⣤⣌⣁⣀⡀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠃⣀⡘⠿⡿⠟⢠⡾⠁⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢴⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠑⠄⡀⠀⢃⠀⠀⢻⣦⡀⠀⠾⣿⣷⣦⡈⠙⠻⠿⣿⣏⡁⢸⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣾⣿⡷⠀⢀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡘⠀⢀⡠⠊⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⠑⠤⡀⠀⢀⠉⠻⣦⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⡀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣤⣴⣾⣿⠿⠛⢁⣴⠟⠉⡀⠀⢀⠤⠊⠁⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠈⠻⣿⣶⣤⡉⠙⠛⠿⠿⢿⡇⢸⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⢉⣤⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠉⠒⠒⠠⠤⠀⠄⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠠⠀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢈⡁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠁⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣾⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine

Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine, it's ruining my Twitch chat experience. Don't conform to standard like everyone else, think for yourselves!
July 2021
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