[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

twitchquotes: ๐“ก๐“ธ๐“ผ๐“ฎ๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ญ. ๐“ฅ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ต๐“พ๐“ฎ. ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ผ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“ฒ๐“ผ ๐“ช ๐“ฏ*๐“ฐ๐“ฐ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐”€๐“ฑ๐“ธ ๐“ฌ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ผ๐“พ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ถ๐”‚ ๐“ญ*๐“ฌ๐“ด
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Spider

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

One condition: let me touch the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripparian, I see you have less viewers than your sexual partner, Reynad. I can guarantee you 5,000 viewers, bringing your count above his. There is but one condition - you must come to my home and let me touch the Kripparian. No copy pasterino dongerino kappacino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

MoonMoon can you please stop feeding?

twitchquotes: Hey Moon, I'm currently watching the stream with my 5 year old son, now I don't mind all the cursing but can you please stop feeding? I don't want my son to learn how to suck at video games
twitch chat
February 2017
MOONMOON

Classic

Overwatch

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing