[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
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November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Sanity lost to Amogus

Ha...hahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's it! I surrender! My sanity can't take this anymore! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I feel like killing someone! I'm not even joking!! I'M FEELING REALLY SUSNO no no i'm NOT sus, Amogus isn't real...but why are there VENTS all over my house?!?!?! OH NO...the power just went out...a fuse was blown...oh God, oh fuck!!! I have to go to ELECTRICAL!!! My roommate looking kinda SUS right now! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Among Us is painted on my walls in blood...I've been humming the Among Drip theme song to myself for three months now...SUS!!! IMPOSTER! RED VENTED!!! HAHAHAHAHA! KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

So you're going by Kurum now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by Kurum now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Milk i'm rank 1. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in the games . Sorry you were just an easy bot to target. I can see not much has changed. Remember the rank you had a crush on? Yeah we're inseparable now. I 'm rank 1 in N.A. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
October 2019
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

This is the shittiest reply ever

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing