[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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Running dog

โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ•ฒโ–•โ–‹โ–•โ–‹โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–†โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–•โ–”โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ–”โ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ–‚โ•ฒโ–‚โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

America as a nation can be defined as a single word

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden
April 2022

Joe Biden

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Not Rekt, Rekt

twitchquotes: Status: โ˜ not rekt โ˜‘ rekt
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad
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