[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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Weebs

Kripp will never, ever click the button

twitchquotes: Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

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Jam a man of fortune xQc

𝒥𝒶𝓂 𝒶 𝑀𝒶𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓃𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒥 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓀 𝓂𝓎 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓃𝑒 -𝐻𝑒𝓃𝓇𝓎 Æ𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈, 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟦
May 2021
xQcOW

I am... the Kripp

twitchquotes: My name is Octavian Morosan, and I am the saltiest man alive. To the outside world, I'm an ordinary vegan, but secretly, with the help of my friends at P.E.T.A. Labs, I play childrens card games and find other babies like me. I BM'd the man who killed my mother, but in doing so, I opened up our world to new threats. And I am the only one salty enough to complain about going second. them. I am... The Kripp!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

DONGERS initiative

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripparrian, this is Agent Saltson, from the Secret Hearthstone Information Education and Luck Division. I need to talk to you about the D.O.N.G.E.R.S Initiative. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
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