[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (โ•ฌ เฒ ็›Šเฒ ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (โ•ฌ เฒ ็›Šเฒ )
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Reports gather, and now my chat restriction begins

twitchquotes: ส€แด‡แดฉแดส€แด›s ษขแด€แด›สœแด‡ส€, แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแดก แดy แด„สœแด€แด› ส€แด‡sแด›ส€ษชแด„แด›ษชแดษด ส™แด‡ษขษชษดs. ษชแด› sสœแด€สŸสŸ ษดแดแด› แด‡ษดแด… แดœษดแด›ษชสŸ แดy แดฉแด‡ส€แดแด€. ษช sสœแด€สŸสŸ แดกแด€ส€แด… ษดแด ส™ส€แดœsสœ, แดกษชษด ษดแด ษขแด€แดแด‡s, า“แด‡แด€ส€ ษดแด แด›ส€ษชส™แดœษดแด€สŸ. ษช sสœแด€สŸสŸ แดกแด‡แด€ส€ ษดแด สœแดษดแดส€ ส™แด€แด…ษขแด‡ แด€ษดแด… า“แด€แด›สœแด‡ส€ ษดแด แด„สœษชสŸแด…ส€แด‡ษด. ษช sสœแด€สŸสŸ สŸษชแด แด‡ แด€ษดแด… แด…ษชแด‡ แด€แด› แดy แดฉแดsแด›. ษช แด€แด แด›สœแด‡ ส™แด ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ แดกษชษด ษช แด€แด แด›สœแด‡ sแด€สŸแด› ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ สŸแดss. ษช แด€แด แด›สœแด‡ ส€แด€ษขแด‡ส€ แด›สœแด€แด› sแดฉแด€แดs แด€สŸสŸ แด„สœแด€แด›, แด›สœแด‡ า“แด‡แด‡แด…แด‡ส€ แด›สœแด€แด› า“สŸแด€แดแด‡s สœษชs แด›แด‡แด€แด, แด›สœแด‡ ษดษชแด…แด€สŸแด‡แด‡ แด›สœแด€แด› sแดœแดฉแดฉแดส€แด›s, แด›สœแด‡ sสœษชแด‡สŸแด… แด›สœแด€แด› ษขแดœแด€ส€แด…s แด›สœแด‡ ส€แด‡แด€สŸแดs แดา“ แดแด‡ษด. ษช แดฉสŸแด‡แด…ษขแด‡ แดy แดแดแดœsแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แด‹แด‡yส™แดส€แด… แด›แด แดกแดแดแด… สŸแด‡แด€ษขแดœแด‡, า“แดส€ แด›สœษชs ษดษชษขสœแด› แด€ษดแด… แด€สŸสŸ ษดษชษขสœแด›s แด›แด แด„แดแดแด‡
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Tall Dog

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘
December 2019

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Amengโ€™s cheeks as he squatted on Bumperโ€™s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Amengโ€™s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
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