[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
May 2022

CSGO

sodaG

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⠒⢄⡀⠄⠄⢹⣄⣇⣀⣸⣷⣄⣦⠈⡿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣙⡦⠒⠹⠄⠇⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣀⣠⡞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠞⠛⠉⠉⠋⠄⠿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⠄⠄⣴⠟⠉⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠿⠉⠁⢀⣀⠴⠄⡸ ⠄⢰⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠄⠄⢀⣴⠞⢻⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠁⠄⠄⡰⠁ ⠄⠄⡻⣿⣿⣿⠿⡡⠃⠄⠄⣼⣇⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠊⠄⠄ ⢀⠎⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢠⣿⡇⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⠄⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠯⠭⠚⠁⠄⠄⠛⣣⣦⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢇⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⣿⣯⡟⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠔⠒⠒⠋⣽⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠒⠤⢄⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021
sodapoppin

Colossal amount of educational content

twitchquotes: What is this painful experience you’re inflicting upon us, Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana? I personally am not attending to this League of Legends stream to be witness to this truly horrendous game known as the «Dark Dungeons". I came for magnificent memes, incredibly pleasurable Skyrim questing, and exciting League of Legends games with a colossal amount of educational content.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE

twitchquotes: You all think these are copypastas. YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE, it is not a fucking joke. I am trying to CON-VER-SATE. You are so socially inept to even do this and I can’t carry you in this like everything else since it takes two to conversate. Pay attention. Think thoughts. Just do anything. I swear I don’t even know how your parent can tolerate you.
twitch chat
June 2020

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing