[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Memes are a very important issue that we face everyday

twitchquotes: I'm here to speak with you about a very important issue that we in the LoL community face everyday, memes. Memes are infiltrating our ranked queues. Memes are infiltrating our in-houses. Memes are raping our mothers and killing our fathers. The World Health Organization has traced the source to a subset of extremely toxic streamers. This group of streamers is led by the one called imaqtpie. If you ever come in contact with imaqtpie, please do a 360 and moonwalk away from his stream. Unfollow and unsubscribe. If you do this, we may still have a chance. I dream of a future where LoL is played in parks and playgrounds, in office and student lounges, and even in the bedroom, completely free of memes. Please support our cause and no pasterini
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

The red bean character is very suspicious

Ok, so I was playing the hit game Among Us the other day, and when the game started, a red bean-shaped character that appeared to be wearing a spacesuit told me "shh," while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. I believe this act made this red bean character extremely suspicious. To understand why this red bean character is suspicious, we first must understand how the game “Among Us” works. The game consists of 10 bean-shaped characters, called crewmates, that are given tasks for them to complete. As these characters do their tasks, they may witness abnormal things that are not supposed to happen, such as the lights turning off on their own, sudden reactor meltdown and other crewmates dying. These acts show that there is an imposter among the crewmates that is sabotaging and is trying to kill everyone. Now why is this important to determine why the red bean is suspicious? Well now we know how the game works, now we must analyze the red bean’s actions. At the beginning of the game, the red bean tells us “shh” while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. This action suggests that the red bean wants us to be quiet, or keep our mouths shut. Now why would the red bean want us to do this? This could be because the red bean wants to limit our communication in order to prevent us from spreading information. What information does the red bean want to prevent from spreading? We can assume that the reason why the red bean wants to prevent us from spreading information, is because he is actually the imposter, and he is planning on committing the crimes mentioned earlier. He does not want others to find out about actions he will cause, therefore he does not want us to communicate with each other. This concludes the reason for why I believe the red bean from the hit game Among Us is suspicious. So if you happen to see a red bean-shaped character wearing a spacesuit, please be careful.
January 2024

Among Us / Amogus

It's Team Rocket COPYPASTE!

twitchquotes: It's spamming at you loud and clear. Through the Chat! Past the mods! In your ear! Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace. Dodging bans, putting spam in its place. A troll by any other name is just as sweet. When everything's worse, our work is complete. Copy! Paste! Putting the Twitch admins in their place... It's Team Rocket COPYPASTE!
twitch chat
March 2019

Please use the code Tempo to save 3% off...

twitchquotes: BibleThump Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

sellout

I still know how to paste it

twitchquotes: ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ I may be old but i still know how to paste it
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing