I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary
My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him.
On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I donβt post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. Itβs also the first time Iβve received Reddit gold.
When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured Iβm all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. Heβs a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming.
But Reddit, itβs been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I donβt say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
Dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard
CHOCOLATE RAIN, HOBGOBLIN INTO CHICKEN WINS THE GAME
twitchquotes:
CHOCOLATE RAIN, hobgoblin into chicken wins the game, CHOCOLATE RAIN, turn one coin in missles, Kripp is slain, CHOCOLATE RAIN, fireball the face and feel the pain, CHOCOLATE RAIN, sacrifice the raptor, all in vain, CHOCOLATE RAIN, Kripp that wrecking of Tay was inhumane 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat