[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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Here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) krippFist Hey Kripp, here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ go *** yourself Kappa
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November 2014
Kripp

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

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You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

You’ve 📡👨 seen 👀👤🎅🏻 Miku on 🔛 stage, 4️⃣💖 but 😠 what 👏🏼 about 🥴 your 👉 wrist? ⌚💯 Wrist ⌚💯 World 🌍 is an AR game 🎯 using 😏 wristbands, now 🫂 featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even ✋ save 🦎 the world! 🌍 Do 👀 You 👀👦 Wrist ⌚💯 World? 🌎 wrist ⌚💯 world 🌍🌎🌏
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Emoji Pasta

In the name of Renly of House Baratheon

twitchquotes: ∩༼˵☯‿☯˵༽つ¤=[]:::::> In the name of Renly of House Baratheon, First of his name, rightful King of the Andals and the First Men. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. I, Kripp of SoloMid, sentence you to die.<====]-o¯\_༼☯‿☯✿༽ノ
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp
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