[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

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4Head γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€ 4Head  4Head γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€ 4Head γ…€ 4Head γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€ γ…€ 4Head  4Head  4Head γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€ 4Head γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€γ…€ 4Head H E A D
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I can't stop staring at Sneaky's sexy face

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twitch chat
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Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Text-to-Speech Playing