[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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Bear

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Smoke weed everyday

twitchquotes: โ•ญโ”โ”โ”โ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”ณโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ณโ”โ”โ”ซโ”ƒโ•ญโ”ณโ”โ”โ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ฐโ”โ”โ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”โ”โ”ปโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”ปโ”โ”โ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ญโ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ฃโ”โ”โ”ณโ”โ”โ”ณโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ฐโ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ฑโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”ปโ”โ”โ”ปโ”โ”โ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑ โ•ญโ”โ”โ”โ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎ โ”ƒโ•ญโ”โ”โ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ”ƒโ”ƒ โ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”ณโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ณโ”โ”โ”ณโ”โ”ณโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ญโ”ณโ”โ•ฏโ”ฃโ”โ”โ”ณโ•ฎโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”ƒ โ”ƒโ•ญโ”โ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ•ญโ”ซโ”ƒโ•ฑโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฑโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏ โ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ”โ•‹โ•ฎโ•ญโ”ซโ”ƒโ”โ”ซโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ฐโ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎ โ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”ปโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”โ”โ”ปโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”ปโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฏโ•ฐโ•ฏ โ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ญโ”โ•ฏโ”ƒ โ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฐโ”โ”โ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฑโ•ฐโ”โ”โ•ฏ
twitch chat
June 2016
imaqtpie

I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ ๐ผ ๐“‡๐‘’๐‘”๐“‡๐‘’๐“‰ ๐“‰๐‘œ ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐’ป๐‘œ๐“‡๐“‚ ๐“Ž๐‘œ๐“Š, ๐“‰๐’ฝ๐‘’๐“‡๐‘’ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐“ƒ๐‘œ ๐’ธ๐‘œ๐’ธ๐“€ ๐“๐‘’๐’ป๐“‰.
twitch chat
February 2021

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8?

twitchquotes: Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym....
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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