I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
The mods are doing a good job
twitchquotes:
The mods are doing a good job of stopping the copying and pasting trolls. It's a shame that people ruin an entire chat with their immature behavior. Go mods, keep up the good work!
twitch chat
MODS
Any Bruvs?
⢏⣤⣶⡶⣌⡛⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠿⣿⣿⣷⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⠿⣿⣷⣆⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⣬⡛⢿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣾⣟⠙⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠊⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⠿⢿⡿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡁⠀⠾⠄⢻⡇⢰⣶⠀⣿⡄⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⢉⣼⠇⣀⣼⣷⡈⣇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣧⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠰⠿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠈⠙⠛⠟⠙⠋⠋⠉⣀⠀⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿
⣶⣄⢀⣀⣀⣠⡄⠚⠛⠡⣿⡇⣡⣼⠀⣿⡇⢹⡄⢿⠏⣸⠋⢤⣌⣻⣶⣿⠏⣸
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⠇⣸⡇⣿⣿⠀⢿⠇⢸⣷⠘⢠⣿⠓⢶⠄⢹⣿⡧⢼⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿
Kripp's kidney stone surgery
twitchquotes:
There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
Kripp
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
Classic
Another response to "who asked?"
I am so tired of you always saying who asked. What if no one asked? Can I not speak up and say something when no one has asked? If everyone did this then no one would ever speak. I think I'm allowed to say what I want. Even if no one asked.