[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Xi Jinping

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡷⡇⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠃⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠗⢈⡶⣷⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2019

xqcRage

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠊⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠂⠸⣿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢡⣤⣤⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠻⠇⠀⠀ ⣉⣁⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⡀⠀⢀⣤⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢤⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠂⠀⠒⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠙⠛⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢉⣿⢶⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠀⠸⠧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣈⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠘⠛⠋⣩⣭⣬⣠⣬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣦⣤⣄⣀⢀⣠⣤⡀⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing