To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
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Something about Qtpie's play...
twitchquotes:
i'm lying on my bed watching Qtpie stream.. my knees are up.. i'm trying to close my legs... but something about Qtpie's play makes me want to force my hands.. lower.. and lower.. i'm so embarassed...my fist is clenched so tight.. as i bite hard.. on my lips
twitch chat
imaqtpie
PUCK THE FLEBS
twitchquotes:
PUCK THE FLEBS 
PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS
PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS PUCK THE FLEBS
twitch chat
Forsen
plebs vs subs
Spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I'm here from Maple Story, just wanted to say that I can see why you were being a bunch of immature children in chat - seeing as you literally play a kids game. Honestly, it's just sad seeing you losers spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack or whatever. Grow up!
twitch chat
EVO
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.