[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Look guys the rules are pretty simple

twitchquotes: Look guys the rules are pretty simple. You are allowed to copypasta and participate in it, but if you are the only one copy pasting it over and over it is time to stop and think about your life and come up with something better to do
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

EPICLY TROLLING MY CLASS WITH AMONG US!!!!

So today I trolled my class with Among Us in an epic way. We were doing a test and were putting numbers into the computer to log into the test. It reminded me of Among Us so I shouted, "IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE?!?!" I then pointed at the kid next to me, who was wearing a red shirt, and yelled, "RED SUS! RED SUS! VOTE OUT RED HE'S SUS!" The teacher tried to pull me out of the classroom but I stabbed him with a pencil epic John Wick style! I proceeded to scream, "DEAD BODY REPORTED!" Then they EXPELLED me and it was kind of sus the way they did it. On my way out of the school I saw a vent so I grabbed the nearest kid and shoved him into the vent! I cracked his skull but it was just a joke so it's okay. My therapy starts tomorrow
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp.... how do I say this

twitchquotes: Kripp.... how do I say this. You aren't as good as you used to be, your quality of both decks and play have deteriorated significantly. At this point I think I'm a better player than you which makes me very sad. Your decks have no balance between curve and minion quality, tar creeper?! Really? In zoo! As much as you sell it as one, zoo is not a control deck. At least not a conventional one.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tyler1 breaks the rules

twitchquotes: Tyler1 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Draven? Tyler puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Bjergsen breaks records. Tyler fking 1 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer to be ALPHA. BigBrother
twitch chat
December 2016

League of Legends

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

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