[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Elundus Core

twitchquotes: The Elundus Core was a 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of a previously undiscovered isotope of plutonium measuring 89 millimeters and was previously held in Felix "xQc" Lengyel's basement. It now lives in the depths of yellowstone waiting to explode
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
January 2024

Reddit

Crying Wojak behind mask

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣛⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣵⣾⣿⢟⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⠯⠿⢿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠧⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣖⡻⣽⣷⣶⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢟⢻⢸⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣁⡉⣭⣭⣟⣋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⢿⣿⣹⣿⣿⢲⣶⣶⣮⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣣⣤⣴⣮⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣂⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⡗⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⡟⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⣿⣯⡿⣛⣋⠽⠿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⡇⠝⢿⣿⣷⣤⣙⣿⠿⠿⢿⣛⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⣬⡻⢢⠸⠡⠩⠻⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⡁⠲⣶⣆⢮⡙⡛⢛⣛⣫⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢟⣼⣿⠟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡺⣭⣄⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing