[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

How can this guy call himself a professional streamer

twitchquotes: 😡 How can this guy call himself a professional streamer when he CLEARLY has no clue about what he's doing. You're supposed to kill the application process tree not alt+f4 like a fucking monkey FailFish Seriously I'm done watching this guy and if I see any one of your fuckers copypaste this I'll delete my account 😡
twitch chat
June 2017

Scary Pepega

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡳⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⠦⠤⠒⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠪⡻⣿⣀⣶⣶⣶⡤⠬⠙⠛⠃⢤⣭⠖⣢⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢚⢿⣿⣿⣯⠴⢛⣭⣽⣽⣕⡉⢜⣵⠾⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢔⣦⣾⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⡟⠄⠘⣿⣿⡞⣿⡀⢠⡽⣿⣷⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣮⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡏⣿⠁ ⭕ ⣡⣿⣿⡿⠿ ⭕ ⠅ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣽⣿⣿⠟⠫⠽⣿⣿⡿⢻⣧⠱⣙⠿⢿⠿⢿⢛⣥⡙⠥⠬⠅⣂⣤⡤ ⠄⢌⣾⣿⣿⡿⣱⠚⠻⣷⣝⢿⣿⣦⣭⣑⣂⣉⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⠿⠋⢹ ⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⠄⠸⣦⣭⠓⠪⠭⣛⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⣛⣛⠭⢝⣢⠄⢧⢸ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠄⠄⠻⠃⠄⢿⣷⡶⠄⣭⣭⡍⠩⣭⣭⡤⠄⠄⠻⣿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠹⠋⠄⠄⠙⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠎ ⢡⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣧⠄⢠⣶⡀⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠝⠄ ⠄⠩⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣧⡙⢿⣿⠄⢰⣿⡄⠄⢀⣿⡄⠄⢀⣾⣿⡷⠄⡩⠊⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠑⢝⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⠳⢦⣤⣍⣙⣛⣀⣛⣛⣃⣀⡉⢍⠠⠔⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠫⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⠭⠭⠙⠂⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2019

Pepe

Dubarino

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Dᴜʙᴀɪ, Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ. Pʟs sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. "୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨" ᴍᴇᴀɴs "Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴀᴛ ᴘᴇɴ!s" ɪɴ ᴅᴜʙᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing