[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Macaiyla left long ago...

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. T1 has finally reached Masters, "Macaiyla I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty trailer. Macaiyla left long ago...
twitch chat
April 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Squid game has ruined my life

Squid Game has ruined my life. I can’t look at a PS4 controller without bursting out in laughter because it remind me of the guards. The electrical room from among us already ruined my fucking life and now the signs on it gives me a fucking heart attack because squid game. Shape toys? THE FUCKING GUARD SIGNS AGAIN! Pineapple guy is player #001? Wtf. The neutral emoji I can’t even look at it it turns into player #456 in my sleep. Nikocado Avocado has a square sign on his chest I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS A SQUARE GUARD WTF!!! I can’t even eat doritos because of squid game. I can’t even play fucking splatoon because of that horrible squid game. The 🌝 emoji just fucking turns into the doll from the first game and I can’t make it stop. I wanna fucking kill myself my life is fucking ruined
October 2021

Squid Game

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😤😤 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS 🎒📚🍆🍆 and FUCK THESE FINALS 🤣🤣😉😉. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL 🍑📞 your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT 👊👊 the BOOKS 📘📗📙till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN 🖊🖊is DRY 😵😵. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE 💦💦 and do this THING 🙌🙌. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🤤🤤 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
twitch chat
December 2019

Emoji Pasta

Stop making fun of EU

twitchquotes: Stop making fun of EU, we are the second best wildcard this year and it took these players work and dedication to stand next for real teams from real regions. This is a step closer for EU to be recognized as the best wildcard region.
twitch chat
October 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing