To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks it’s a job
my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”.
That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
MODS
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
WallStreetBets
Vaporeon
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Pokemon
FeelsOldMan
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣯⣭⣭⣝⣛⠿⢿⣛⣿⣛⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⡭⠖⡑⢈⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣷⣭⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣯⣥⣿⣒⡽⡎⢚⣕⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣱⣾⣿⢫⣷⣿⣿⠛⣋⡍⣥⡴⣶⣶⣄⢖⢘⣽⣓⢒⡆⡴⣶⠖⣼⢻⣿
⣿⡿⣳⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠑⠹⣃⣥⡶⣒⣒⠒⠮⠥⠌⡘⠫⠬⠕⢶⣋⠬⠟⡃⢿
⡿⣭⣿⡋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣵⡛⣯⢡⡥⠄⠄⢉⠉⣍⡑⡰⣀⣭⠍⠲⢀⠈⠹⡶⢸
⢳⣽⡿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣲⡘⢧⣤⣶⣬⡶⢞⣡⢆⠻⣿⣦⣥⣶⣶⠶⣰⣿
⣿⣸⣇⣿⣿⣿⡞⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠶⠂⢾⣿⣶⣿⣓⠂⠄⠐⢀⠴⣾⣿⣿
⡻⣯⢻⣽⣿⣿⢧⣿⡷⣿⡿⣫⣵⡷⣛⣯⣭⣟⡷⣯⣯⣷⣛⣛⡛⢶⣥⡘⣿⣿
⣿⣷⣧⣝⣛⣣⣿⣿⡿⡑⣺⢿⢿⣿⢏⡵⡶⠋⣝⣻⣏⡐⠌⠻⣿⠆⣮⡻⡘⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡳⠔⠥⠡⠍⣀⡻⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣊⢃⣰⣿
⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣻⢿⣿⣧⡹⡶⣤⣬⣝⣛⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⢛⣼⣿⣿
⠄⠙⠲⠭⣽⣛⣻⠿⢷⣿⣿⣷⢹⣽⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣻⣽⢟⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠺⣧⡟⣿⣿⣟⣿⣷⣧⣿⢟⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣹⡟⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣾⣾⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
Kripp's high time in coma
twitchquotes:
Kripp, this is doctor Jeffrey Shih from the Athens General Hospital. You’ve been in a coma for several years now due to an overload of copypasta. I’m trying out a new method to get through to you. Please wake up! Your family misses you very much. Please wake up, you *** retard!
twitch chat
Kripp