To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
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Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
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I like to drink my milk
twitchquotes:
I like to drink my milk<༼ຈل͜ຈ༽> I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ and every time I drink it┌༼ຈل͜ຈ ┐ Kripp starts to scream and whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐ But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Bones are staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
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Kripp
Pokimane love you
Pokimane love you. I truly love you, You fill the void in my heart and stop the pain. really need you in my life, you complete me. would do everything for you, would sacrifice everything just to be able to spend a day with you, do everything please give me a chance.
Pokimane