To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Floating in a pool of casualness
twitchquotes:
Fᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴏᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ʀᴀɴᴋs.. Fʟᴏᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴏʟ ᴏғ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss.. Fᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴏғ ɴᴏᴏʙs.. Wʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ.
twitch chat
Kripp
I hate gaming laptops
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
Nairo Meta Whore
twitchquotes:
NairoMK? more like Nairo Meta Whore (whore with a silent K). all you do is play the most broken characters because they are "meta" what the crap even is the meta. i miss when you used to be loyal to your characters like Zero. Zero is a HARDCORE final fantasy fan and played cloud in tournament despite the nerfs to his favorite character. enjoy your cheap wins until the next patch hits and nerfs your busted characters. us character loyalists will gladly take your top seed. Lucas main BTW.
twitch chat
NairoMK
Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves
⡿⡿⣻⢿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠊⠌⠌⠌⠂⠊⠄⠂⠙⠿⠻⡻⠻⢛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣻
⣗⡽⡮⡷⣽⣺⣽⣿⣾⠟⠈⠄⠄⡀⢁⠂⢘⠈⡈⡠⠁⠄⢀⠘⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠳⠻⣯⣿⣽⣞⣵⡳
⣗⢯⢫⢯⣷⡿⣽⠏⡁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢄⠅⠐⡂⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠐⡑⠄⠌⡄⠅⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⣳⢯
⣿⡴⣤⠅⢓⢹⢜⠁⡀⠄⠄⡡⠈⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠠⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣟
⠿⢿⠻⢝⣿⡿⢢⢁⢀⢑⠌⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣴⣴⣬⣄⣀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣿⣿
⡀⠄⠄⣸⣾⣛⢈⠄⢸⠐⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⡀⣜⣞⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⢴⢼⣐⢬⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿
⠋⣀⣵⣿⣽⡇⢃⢘⠜⠅⠈⠄⠄⢀⢔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢾⢿⣳⢷⢿⡯⣷⣿⡌⠄⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿
⠄⣿⣿⡟⣾⠇⢠⠧⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⣰⣿⣿⣯⡏⣯⢿⢽⡹⣏⢿⡺⡱⢑⠽⡹⡺⣜⢄⠅⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿
⣾⣻⢳⣝⡯⢡⢹⣇⠄⠐⠄⠄⢠⣺⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⢽⡵⣽⡺⣝⢎⢎⢶⢕⢌⢭⢣⢑⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿
⣿⠧⢃⡳⠉⡈⢮⠃⠄⠄⠇⠄⣔⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣯⣯⢿⢼⡪⡎⡯⡝⢵⣓⢱⢱⡱⡪⡂⠄⠐⠄⠂⠄⠰⣿
⡿⢡⢪⠄⢰⠨⣿⠁⢈⣸⠄⠄⢿⢿⣻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣮⢮⣯⣾⡵⣪⡪⡱⣹⣪⡂⠄⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⣿
⣈⡖⡅⠄⢪⢴⢊⠁⢐⢸⠄⠄⡨⡢⡈⠈⠉⠻⢟⣷⡿⣟⢗⣽⡷⣿⢯⣞⣕⣧⣷⡳⠅⠄⠅⢐⠄⠄⠄⣿
⡣⡟⠜⠸⡁⣷⠁⠄⢅⢸⡀⠄⠄⠈⡀⠥⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠐⣷⡳⠙⠕⠩⠘⠁⠃⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⢆⠄⠄⠄⣸
⣻⠍⠄⢣⣣⠏⠠⠐⠌⣪⠃⡐⢔⢌⡛⡎⡢⠄⢀⢄⢠⣳⣿⡎⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⡈⠌⠊⠄⢀⠘⠨⠄⠄⠄⢸
⠑⠠⢂⢮⡳⠠⠂⠁⡅⡯⠐⢨⡺⡌⡯⡪⣞⣼⣵⡧⣟⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠐⡢⣒⢆⢐⢠⠁⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢻
⢅⢢⠫⡫⠙⠨⠄⣃⢎⡗⢈⠰⠸⡸⡸⣝⣿⣿⡗⡽⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⣔⢽⣼⣗⣷⢱⠁⠄⠅⠁⠐⠄⠄⢾
⡵⣰⠏⡐⠱⡑⢨⡬⢻⡕⠐⠈⡪⡣⡳⡱⡳⠱⢍⣳⢳⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⢵⢻⣳⣟⢎⠪⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
⡷⠁⡀⠄⠨⢂⣸⢉⠆⢑⠌⢠⢣⢏⢜⠜⡀⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠠⠄⠨⡗⡧⡳⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
⢖⠠⠄⢰⠁⢴⣃⠞⠄⠕⣈⣺⣵⡫⡢⣕⣷⣷⡀⠄⡈⢟⠝⠈⢉⡢⡕⡭⣇⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
⢻⡐⢔⢠⠪⡌⢌⠆⠐⢐⢨⣾⣷⡙⠌⠊⠕⠁⠄⠊⡀⠄⠠⠄⠡⠁⠓⡝⡜⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡀⠄⣿
⠘⢨⢪⠼⠘⠅⠄⠂⠄⡀⢻⣿⣇⠃⠑⠄⠒⠁⢂⠑⡔⠄⠌⡐⠄⠂⠠⢰⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣡⢱⣶⣿
⢢⢂⠫⡪⣊⠄⠣⡂⠂⡀⠨⠹⡐⣜⡾⡯⡯⢷⢶⢶⠶⣖⢦⢢⢪⠢⡂⡇⠅⠄⠄⠈⠄⢰⠡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢑⠄⠧⣟⡎⢆⡃⡊⠔⢀⠄⠈⣮⢟⡽⣿⣝⡆⠅⠐⡁⠐⠔⣀⢣⢑⠐⠁⡐⠈⡀⢐⠁⠄⠈⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿
⢑⠁⢮⣾⡎⢰⢐⠈⢌⢂⠐⡀⠂⡝⡽⣟⣿⣽⡪⢢⠂⡨⢪⠸⠨⢀⠂⡁⢀⠂⠄⢂⢊⠖⢄⠄⢀⢨⠉⠛
⡰⢺⣾⡗⠄⡜⢔⠡⢊⠢⢅⢀⠑⠨⡪⠩⠣⠃⠜⡈⡐⡈⡊⡈⡐⢄⠣⢀⠂⡂⡁⢂⠄⢱⢨⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄
Toilet Pepe
⣿⠿⣛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⣭⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⠭⠭⡙⢋⣭⠶⠒⠒⢍⡘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⣯⡴⠚⠉⡡⠤⢄⣉⣅⡤⠄⢀⢺⡌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡏⡆⣿⣿⣉⣐⢴⣿⠈⠈⢀⠟⡿⠷⠄⢠⢎⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡫⣽⣒⣤⠬⠬⠤⠭⠭⢭⣓⣒⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣵⡴⡇⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠠⠄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⡸⣿⣿⣿
⢇⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣠⣤⣤⣀⡚⠿⢦⣄⡀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣘⠳⣭⢻⣿
⣎⢿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣙⡳⠟⢗⣈⠻⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣿
⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣲⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⠇⣤⣤⣤⡶⢰⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡖⣸⣿⡟⣠⣶⣶⡖⣠⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣛⡻⣿⠇⣿⣿⠃⣿⣟⡭⠁⣿⣯⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣭⣙⠗⣸⣿⡇⣾⣮⣙⡛⣸⣿⣿⣿