[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Hammer and sickle

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ascii art
January 2017

Smash Ball

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣴⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣾⢟⢁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢟⣿⣿⣾⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣼⣧⠀⢺⣿⣿⡃⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⣼⠅⣠⣿⡗⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿⣡⢀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣀⣤⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣤⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡉⢀⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄ ⢻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡁⠀ ⠈⢻⣿⡍⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣥⣶⡾⢟⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⢨⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⣤⡾⠯⠁⠀
ascii art
August 2019

Super Smash Bros

TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches"

twitchquotes: TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches" is a North American team known for their questionable play and inability to win a game. They are currently found in Gate 06 of the Shanghai Pudong Airport making up excuses for not winning a single game at Worlds.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

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