[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Now I am nolife

twitchquotes: ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ -═══════ι▬▬
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

VIVA LE MEME

twitchquotes: Clearly one of the largest, most daunting issues we face in modern day society is the threat of losing our rich culture of GLORIOUS MEMES which will be abandoned, lost, fogotten, and misunderstood in the future. We must enjoy the memes while they're still here to be embraced. VIVA LE MEME ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Person holding sign up

| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| insert text here |___________| \ (•◡•) / \ / --- | |
October 2021

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: 𝓛𝓘𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 90 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓶𝓮? 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 69 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽. 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓝𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓘 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼. 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝔀𝓪𝓽, 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱.
twitch chat
September 2018

Fortnite

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing