[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

bri'ish accent

stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit? chewsday: It's chewsday innit? BLM: Black lives ma-a spiderman: peta paka ffs: fuh funk saek ROIGHT wots oll dis den Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen fuck you: funk yew sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!? i saw a film: I soar a film not botherd: I'm not movered harry potter: arry pah uh my son is now foh yes old nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht mtdew: mointain jew
April 2021

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Krippis casualis

twitchquotes: Krippis casualis! o͡╮༼ ಠДಠ ༽╭o͡━☆゚.*・。゚
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Positive streamers only

twitchquotes: Hi Mewnfare, it's Cliff, from Blizzard. Heard you were having some issues with matchmaking in our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, due to the notes 'Salt mine Overlord' and 'Hots Suggardaddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only positive streamers can play with a proper matchmaking today. Feel free to submit an appeal to our support team.
twitch chat
November 2020
mewnfare

Porn scene fanfic

Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?" THEY FUCK
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing