To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
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eat hot chip and lie
twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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📞 4Head HEY DALLAS
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📞 
HEY DALLAS 📞 JUST HIT BRONZE 📞 CAN I JOIN?
HEY DALLAS 📞 JUST HIT BRONZE 📞 CAN I JOIN?
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked?
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PLEBS Have you for one second indulged yourself, your mind, your brain to think that the shit you just spew could be taken as an advice/ backseat/ tip which is ON ALL CAPS in the title telling you against it. Now when you’ve contemplated well on this thought, would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked? PogO
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We wish you a Merry Krippmas
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ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
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Kripp
There was a bug in the toilet
twitchquotes:
WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 🧘♂️💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ ‼️IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 
IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
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