[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold

twitchquotes: hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers haHAA
twitch chat
July 2018
Ninja

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Donkey Kong

───────────────▄████████▄──────── ─────────────▄█▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀██▄────── ───────────▄█▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██────── ─────────▄█▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▐█▌───── ────────▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀█▒▒▒▒▒▐█▌───── ───────▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀█▒▒▒▄██────── ──────▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀█▒▄█▀█▄───── ─────▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▀▒▒▒█▄──── ────▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▄─── ───▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▄── ──▄█▒▒▒▄██████▄▒▒▒▒▄█████▄▒▒▒▒█── ──█▒▒▒█▀░░░░░▀█─▒▒▒█▀░░░░▀█▒▒▒█── ──█▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░▀████▀░░░▄░░█▒▒▒█── ▄███▄▒█▄░▐▀▄░░░░░░░░░▄▀▌░▄█▒▒███▄ █▀░░█▄▒█░▐▐▀▀▄▄▄─▄▄▄▀▀▌▌░█▒▒█░░▀█ █░░░░█▒█░▐▐──▄▄─█─▄▄──▌▌░█▒█░░░░█ █░▄░░█▒█░▐▐▄─▀▀─█─▀▀─▄▌▌░█▒█░░▄░█ █░░█░█▒█░░▌▄█▄▄▀─▀▄▄█▄▐░░█▒█░█░░█ █▄░█████████▀░░▀▄▀░░▀█████████░▄█ ─██▀░░▄▀░░▀░░▀▄░░░▄▀░░▀░░▀▄░░▀██ ██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░█ █░▀█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀░█ █░░█▀███████████████████████▀█░░█ █░░█────█───█───█───█───█────█░░█ █░░▀█───█───█───█───█───█───█▀░░█ █░░░▀█▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄▄█▄▄█▀░░░█ ▀█░░░█──█───█───█───█───█──█░░░█▀ ─▀█░░▀█▄█───█───█───█───█▄█▀░░█▀─ ──▀█░░░▀▀█▄▄█───█───█▄▄█▀▀░░░█▀── ───▀█░░░░░▀▀█████████▀▀░░░░░█▀─── ────▀█░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░█▀──── ─────▀██▄░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░▄██▀───── ────────▀██▄▄░░░░░░░▄▄██▀──────── ───────────▀▀███████▀▀───────────
September 2021

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Raid Shadow Legends ad script

twitchquotes: RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing