[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021

WutFace alternative

⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠱⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣛⡩⣩⣭⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠞⣛⣛⣛⡲⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡾⣡⣾⣿⣷⣹⣿⣿⡿⣪⡻⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⣼⡇⣿⣻⣿⠟⡛⢿⣿⣾⣿⡇⢰⣍⢻⡿⠛⢿⣿⡭⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⣄⡀⣿⡇⣮⣽⣿⣮⣉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⡸⣿⣿⣆⠛⣰⣿⣾⡿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣇⡼⣄⣿⣿⡄⠙⢿⣏⣿⣿⡮⠁⣉⣾⣷⡈⠃⢿⣿⣬⡭⠝⣀⣿⠄⠄⠐ ⡆⡇⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠓⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⣛⠓⠾⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠙ ⠁⡇⣞⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢴⣆⢣ ⠸⣇⡻⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠼⣣⣾ ⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠈⣿⡫⡼⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⣀⣠⡀⠄⠄⠴⠾⠿⠿⠶⠶⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠯⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⢒⠤⣅⡶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣍⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡐⠫⣉⡿⣬⡞⢿⣿⢯⠽⣶⡽⢟⣛⢖⣨⣛⠛⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Fat reddit snoo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣴⣾⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⠿⢋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣭⣭⣉⠙⠳⣶⡆⠀⠐⣶⠶⠋⣉⣭⣭⣉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣦⣿⠏⠈⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣸⡗⠀⠐⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠉⢻⣷⣴⣿⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣉⣩⡴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⢭⣉⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡄⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡟⠀⠈⠛⠿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⢈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠄⠀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⢀⠘⠁⠁⠀⡀⠀⡀⠘⢷⣤⣀⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣈⣤⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⢠⠀⡁⠀⢸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡔⣀⡀⡐⣦⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠏⠉⠀⠀⣰⡤⠐⠈⢠⣠⠃⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⣿⡀⡁⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⢄⣸⡾⠫⠐⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⢱⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⢧⡁⠀⠙⠳⢶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣀⣢⣦⣤⠶⠞⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡼⠃⠢⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢹⠉⠉⠙⡁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣄⡄⠀⡊⠙⠳⠶⠶⠶⢾⣤⣤⣤⣤⣧⣷⢶⠶⠞⢻⠉⠁⢠⠠⢈⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣧⣤⣀⣀⣀⣄⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣂⣠⣀⣡⣠⣀⣠⣦⣴⡾⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

Take my energy Kripp

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ MorphinTime TAKE MY ENERGY KRIPP ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ MorphinTime
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing