[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Jared thought he was back with the crew

twitchquotes: Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. What’s gotten into you? You’re better than this.
August 2021

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: haHAA BAN haHAA ONE haHAA 12 haHAA YEAR haHAA OLD haHAA AND haHAA YOU haHAA GET haHAA THE haHAA WHOLE haHAA 9GAG haHAA
twitch chat
December 2018

Ban X Get The Whole Y

You have been gifted free happiness

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— TwitchVotes You have been gifted free happiness. Type widepeepoHappy to activate————————————————————————
twitch chat
September 2020

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing