[Copypasta] If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Mutant Seagull

ascii art

April 2017

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

twitch chat

April 2019

Mario

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▓▓▓▀█▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▄██████▄▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄█▄█▀░░▄░▄░█▀▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▄▀░██▄░░▀░▀░▀▄▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▀▄░░▀░▄█▄▄░░▄█▄▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▀█▄▄░░▀▀▀█▀▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▀██▀▀█▄▀▀▄▒▒ ▒▒█▓▓▄▀▀▀▄█▄▓▓▀█░█▒▒ ▒▒▀▄█░░░░░█▀▀▄▄▀█▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▄▄██▄▄█▀▓▓█▒▒ ▒▒█▀▓█████████▓▓▓█▒▒ ▒▒█▓▓██▀▀▀▒▒▒▀▄▄█▀▒▒ ▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

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November 2014

Millerino Druidino

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripparian, its Reynad's attourney here, i see you are using my client's new deck, the Millerino Druidino. We will send you the fees for using his new deck idea, please stay in touch with us or we will have to take the needed providences. Have a good climb, no pasterino please. Nice cat u have.

twitch chat

December 2014

Kripp

Kirby with gun

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October 2018

[Copypasta] If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Mutant Seagull

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

Mario

Millerino Druidino

Kirby with gun

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