[Copypasta] If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t β€˜gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? πŸ’¦πŸ˜‰ 🧻Corona🀧 is CUMMINGπŸ’¦ for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being πŸ’‹NAUGHTYπŸ˜‰ πŸ™…β€β™€οΈSocial distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈquarenTEENπŸ”ž with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant πŸ’¦ and CUMπŸ‘… over so I can administerπŸ‘©β€βš•οΈ your treatmentπŸ˜‰ and injectπŸ’‰ you with the vaccineπŸ† We’ll spend the πŸ—lockdownπŸ”’ flattening the curveπŸ“‰ and FATTENING DEM’ πŸ‘πŸΏ CURVES πŸ‘ Get ready for 14 days of πŸ’―THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this βœ‰οΈ to covid-19 of your sloppiest πŸ’¦πŸ’¦SYMPTOMATICπŸ€’ SLUTS🀫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan batπŸ¦‡ bitch πŸ‘Ž If you get 10 back, you’re a πŸ˜‰hornyπŸ’„healthyπŸ’ͺhoe😘 If you get all 19 backπŸ‘ your assπŸ‘ is the ANTIDOTEπŸ’Š and it’s in high demand πŸ‘¬πŸΏ
March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

boatyVV

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–—β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–›β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▄▀────────▓─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„ β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–›β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€ ───▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──────
September 2018

A response to Elon Musk's tweets

March 2022

Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing