[Copypasta] If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021
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Huntard

twitchquotes: ლ(◉◡◔ლ) HUNTARD OP ლ(◉◡◔ლ)
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Born perfectly to explore dank memes

twitchquotes: Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
January 2015

Classic

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isn’t belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole. While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love! Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too! Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldn’t build communism due to being tied to stool. People’s Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.
April 2022

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Evil Jerma

⠉⠉⠉⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣩⣉⠉⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⣋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣢⣤⣤⣾⣿⡀⠄ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢁⣠ ⣿⣿⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⣉⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⡀⠉⢁⡥⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⢹⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣷⢀⡭⣤⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣿⣟⢷⢾⣊⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣈⣉⣭⣽⡿⠟⢉⢴⣿⡇⣺⣿⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠐⢊⣡⣴⣾⣥⣿⣿⣿
July 2022
Jerma985
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