[Copypasta] All intensive purposes

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
September 2021
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Attention all Fortnite gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
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November 2018

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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
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Un'Goro volcano board copypasta

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 🥁 🍀 🐢 🍀 ☘ = 🌋
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June 2017

Hearthstone

PogU

⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⠄⠄⠰⣿⠿⢋⣉⣀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿ ⠄⣠⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⡙ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣡⣀⣂⣰⣬⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⣛⠛⠿⢿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠶⢾⣦⣬⣿ ⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣶⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄ ⣿⡆⠄⠄⡀⠄⣿⡇⠈⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⣿⣿⠋⢀⠠⠄⢀ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠹⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⣶⣶⣦⣾⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣉⠄⠄⠉⠻⠿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣟⣥⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠶⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⢉⣿⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
April 2019

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing