[Copypasta] I Cri Evrytiem (Like This If You Cry Everytime)

Wun day, a boi n a gurl wer walkin w skool. Dey wer holdin handz and redy 2 seluhbrayt der 2 hour aniverssaree. Da gurl turnt 2 da boi n say "bbz, do u luv me 4ever?!" Da boi turnt 2 her n say "NO!" Da gurl wuz <3brokn n run away frum da boi. She run in2 da street n got hit by a car. Da boi run ovur 2 da gurl n hold her az she dyieng "I wuz gonna say, I luv u 5ever" Da boy den pull out hiz gat n shoot himself ded. As his bodee hit da assfalt, a bawks rolled of his poccet. A bootyful dimund ring wuz nside. Liek dis if u cry evrytiem
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

TIFU: By slapping my wifeโ€™s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wifeโ€™s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with โ€œyes daddy, spank me harder!โ€ (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with โ€œwhatโ€™s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?โ€ I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donโ€™t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wifeโ€™s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donโ€™t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022

FeelsBirthdayMan

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃธโฃฟโฃฆโฃคโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃพโฃฟโฃŸโฃปโฃฟโฃทโก„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโฃฟโกŸโ ›โฃฟโฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโขฟโฃคโฃฟโกŸโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโกถโ ›โ ›โฃฟโฃทโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃคโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃฃโฃคโฃคโฃผโฃถโฃคโข€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃถโฃฆโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โฃญโฃญโฃญโฃโฃ‹โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก„โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃŸโ ฝโฃ’โฃ’โฃ’โฃบโ โข›โ ญโฃโฃ›โฃปโกฏโ คโ „ โ „โฃฐโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃŸโฃญโ ฟโข–โฃ›โกญโขโ ›โ ปโฃฏโข™โฃญโฃญโ ‹โ „โก€โขบโกญ โฃ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฝโฃ—โฃ’โฃคโฃดโฃฌโฃ”โฃขโฃพโฃถโฃญโฃคโฃฅโฃถโ –โ „ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃญโฃญโฃฅโฃ„โก€โ „ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโข‹โฃทโฃฎโฃโฃ›โ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃ‡โ „ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโฃ›โ ฟโฃญโฃฝโฃ›โ ณโ พโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโข—โฃšโฃ›โ ›โ „ โ ˜โกปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃญโฃปโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โก›โ ›โ ‹โ „โ „ โฃผโฃถโฃฏโฃดโฃšโ ญโ ญโฃฝโฃฟโฃŸโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃปโขโก‰โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
ascii art
April 2020

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and Iโ€™m fucking retarded but I donโ€™t care, Iโ€™m beautiful. Iโ€™m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me โ€œWindows Update 10.0.10586โ€ and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you canโ€™t accept me youโ€™re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

Space Invaders

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing