[Copypasta] I Cri Evrytiem (Like This If You Cry Everytime)

Wun day, a boi n a gurl wer walkin w skool. Dey wer holdin handz and redy 2 seluhbrayt der 2 hour aniverssaree. Da gurl turnt 2 da boi n say "bbz, do u luv me 4ever?!" Da boi turnt 2 her n say "NO!" Da gurl wuz <3brokn n run away frum da boi. She run in2 da street n got hit by a car. Da boi run ovur 2 da gurl n hold her az she dyieng "I wuz gonna say, I luv u 5ever" Da boy den pull out hiz gat n shoot himself ded. As his bodee hit da assfalt, a bawks rolled of his poccet. A bootyful dimund ring wuz nside. Liek dis if u cry evrytiem
September 2021
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How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

How Trump can still win

How Trump can still win: under section 34 of Secure Credits and Taxes act, the president can induce artificial inflation and if the inflation gets high enough, technically Trump can declare emergency powers and not leave the office, google "Trump SCAT inflation rule 34" for more info
December 2020

2020 US Election

Will this pay for singing in mumble

twitchquotes: [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²] Leifman will this pay for singing in mumble? [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²]
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kappa Nazi

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘
November 2014

Thanks Nivea!

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ GUYS GUYS , just used new Nivea Lotion on my donger and now it looks 10 years youger , THANKS NIVEA γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
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