[Copypasta] I Cri Evrytiem (Like This If You Cry Everytime)

Wun day, a boi n a gurl wer walkin w skool. Dey wer holdin handz and redy 2 seluhbrayt der 2 hour aniverssaree. Da gurl turnt 2 da boi n say "bbz, do u luv me 4ever?!" Da boi turnt 2 her n say "NO!" Da gurl wuz <3brokn n run away frum da boi. She run in2 da street n got hit by a car. Da boi run ovur 2 da gurl n hold her az she dyieng "I wuz gonna say, I luv u 5ever" Da boy den pull out hiz gat n shoot himself ded. As his bodee hit da assfalt, a bawks rolled of his poccet. A bootyful dimund ring wuz nside. Liek dis if u cry evrytiem
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

Anime girl 11

⡿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⣋⣵⣮⠇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠋⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣯⣾⣿⡿⣳⡟⣰⣿⣠⣂⡀⢀⠄⢸⡄⠄⢀⣈⢆⣱⣤⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡟⣹⡿⣸⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣾⢻⣆⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣀⣤ ⠄⠄⣼⡟⣿⠏⢀⣿⣇⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠋ ⡆⣸⡟⣼⣯⠏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠸⠁⢹⡿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⡇⡟⣸⢟⣫⡅⣶⢆⡶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣛⠃⠰⠆⠈⠁⠈⠙⠈⠻⣿⢹⡏⠄ ⣧⣱⡷⣱⠿⠟⠛⠼⣇⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠈⠄⠄ ⡏⡟⢑⠃⡠⠂⠄⠄⠈⣾⢻⣿⣿⡿⡹⡳⠋⠉⠁⠉⠙⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄ ⡇⠁⢈⢰⡇⠄⠄⡙⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣱⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠈⢰⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⠴⣄⣡⢄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡇⢀⠄⠤⠈⠁⣠⣠⣸⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣷⣬⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣟⢷⡶⢗⡰⣿⣿⠇⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⡟⢀⠃⠄⢸⡄⠁⣸ ⣿⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢄⡆⠄⢀⣪⡆⠄⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣟⣻⣩⣾⣃⣴⣿⣿⡇⠸⢾
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Weebs

100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY

twitchquotes: (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM EUROFAG. I have a 100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

EU vs NA

Hello I'm 13 year old from asia, name Lee Cheng Yun

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ɪᴍ 13 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀsɪᴀ, ɴᴀᴍᴇ ʟᴇᴇ ᴄʜᴇɴɢ ʏᴜɴ. ɪ ɴᴏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍsᴇʟғ? ᴡʜʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴛ? ɪ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅs ɪɴ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʜsᴛᴏɴᴇ, ɪ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀᴄᴋ ғɪɴᴅ ᴍɪʟʜᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜsᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴢᴏᴏ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing