[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's Sellout Castle

twitchquotes: It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

sellout

That's the wrong VoHiYo

twitchquotes: VoHiYo THATS VoHiYo THE VoHiYo WRONG VoHiYo HOLE VoHiYo ONII-CHAN VoHiYo KYAAAAH VoHiYo
twitch chat
March 2016

Weebs

Classic

Pepe flex

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⡶⠿⢘⣥⠢⠐⠗⣹⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣅⣂⠹⣪⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⢭⡻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⣭⣧⣾⡿⠿⡋⢅⡪⠅⣢⣿⡿⠟⢁⣶⣶⣶⣤⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄ ⢠⣴⣿⣿⣟⣤⣤⡉⠭⣑⡨⢔⣊⣵⣶⡿⠛⢉⣴⡾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣦⡀ ⣼⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⢰⢰⠌⣻⣭⣭⣶⡷⣠⡤⠶⠾⠛⢓⣒⣮⣝⡻⠸⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣝⢶⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢏⣸⡄⢻⡿⣿⣟⣵⠶⢛⣛⣛⣛⡒⠦⣝⠿⣿⣦⡙⣿⡿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣜⡿⣿⣄⢓⡘⠃⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⣶⣅⢺⣿⡇⠻⠁ ⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣷⣾⣝⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣛⣿⡟⣢⢻⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⣦⣵⡾⢃⣾⣿⣿⢱⡿⣸⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣛⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⠇⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠲⣝⣫⣓⡙⣿⣜⣛⣛⣛⣻⡯⠹⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⢻⡈⢿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing