Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land.
Win - We dinnae want ye here
Tae - Yer nae hard enough
Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc)
Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment
Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin
Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us
sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter
It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices
Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie
Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye
If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land.
Fuck off hame any English cunts.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder
twitchquotes:
Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
• A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
• A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
• They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
• One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
• The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
• The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
• The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
• The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
• During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
In Korea, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
Huntard is confused
twitchquotes:
ｈｕｎｔａｒｄ ｉｓ ｃｏｎｆｕｓｅｄ． ｕｎｄｅｒｔａｋｅｒ ｗａｓ ｐｌａｙｅｄ ｔｕｒｎ ｏｎｅ， ｂｕｔ ｏｐｐｏｎｅｎｔ ｌｉｖｅｓ． Ｅｖｅｎ ｇｒｅｅｔｉｎｇｓ ｔｒａｖｅｌｌｅｒ ａｎｄ ｏｖｅｒｐｏｗｅｒｅｄ ｄｏｇｅ ｃａｒｄ ｄｉｄ ｎｏｔ ｗｏｎｎｅｒｅｄ． Ａ ｓｉｎｇｌｅ ｔｅａｒ ｒｏｌｌｓ ｄｏｗｎ ｈｉｓ ｆａｃｅ ａｓ ｈｅ ｃｏｎｃｅｄｅｓ． ｔｉｍｅ ｔｏ ｃｒａｆｔ ｇａｈｚｉｌｌａ．
twitch chat
Kripp
I hope Seraphine wins xD
twitchquotes:
I hope Seraphine wins xD. I'm a Sera main and she's just so fun!! People get so trolled by the charm, and her tweets are so cute like when she writes about anxiety LOL! She's super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat