[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1

twitchquotes: No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1, spam Kะฐppa, hold my donger, aggravate mods, or copy paste your messages. This is a community of upstanding individuals, such as myself, who wish to keep this chat in a state of peace and clarity.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Pikachu

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Pokemon

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