[Copypasta] Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

January 2021

Classic

Underswap Frisk

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ascii art

September 2018

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: OpieOP

OpieOP　Ｈｅｌｌｏ　Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　Ｈｅａｄ　Ｃｈｅｆ　ｏｆ　Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｄａｙｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｏｆ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　ｔｙｐｅ　（ＸＸＬ　ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｃｒｕｓｔ）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ！　OpieOP OpieOP

twitch chat

April 2014

Kripp

This is shit

twitchquotes: ▀█▀ █▬█ █ ▄█▀ █ ▄█▀ ▄█▀ █▬█ █ ▀█▀

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

Maple leaf

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣴⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢠⣷⣤⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⣦⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ascii art

September 2020

[Copypasta] Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Classic

Underswap Frisk

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

This is shit

Maple leaf

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