[Copypasta] Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021
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More Copypastas

Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021

Fat reddit snoo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡿⠿⠿⢿⣶⣴⣾⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⠿⢋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣭⣭⣉⠙⠳⣶⡆⠀⠐⣶⠶⠋⣉⣭⣭⣉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣦⣿⠏⠈⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣸⡗⠀⠐⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠉⢻⣷⣴⣿⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣉⣩⡴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⢭⣉⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡄⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡟⠀⠈⠛⠿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⢈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠄⠀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⢀⠘⠁⠁⠀⡀⠀⡀⠘⢷⣤⣀⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣈⣤⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⢠⠀⡁⠀⢸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡔⣀⡀⡐⣦⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠏⠉⠀⠀⣰⡤⠐⠈⢠⣠⠃⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⣿⡀⡁⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⢄⣸⡾⠫⠐⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⢱⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⢧⡁⠀⠙⠳⢶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣀⣢⣦⣤⠶⠞⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡼⠃⠢⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢹⠉⠉⠙⡁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣄⡄⠀⡊⠙⠳⠶⠶⠶⢾⣤⣤⣤⣤⣧⣷⢶⠶⠞⢻⠉⠁⢠⠠⢈⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣧⣤⣀⣀⣀⣄⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣂⣠⣀⣡⣠⣀⣠⣦⣴⡾⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021

You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito

twitchquotes: Wow Kripparian, you seem salty today! But not as salty as Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito for only $2.99! Packed with tbSpicy and PJSalt its got everything you want in a tbQuesarito !
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

sellout

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