Hi Sophie,
Thank you for your application to Team KFC.
We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.
But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.
Best Wishes,
Team KFC
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Lord Microsoft
10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington.
A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine.
"Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside.
Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out.
The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground.
"This is the last one?" the figure asks.
"Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for."
The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger.
"Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-"
"Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!"
The guards grab the man, hoisting him up.
"Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection.
"Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse."
The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain.
He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale.
"How may I serve you, my lord."
COVID
Coronavirus
Kreygasm
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββ ββββββ ββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism
My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers youβd find on Xbox lobbyβs. Iβve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. Iβve tried to tell him thatβs hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesnβt listen to me and insists he isnβt racist and that heβs just saying it because heβs angry. Iβve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldnβt say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
Fortnite
Hi Kripp, this is Pogoβs mom
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, this is Pogoβs mom. I noticed you havenβt been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesnβt make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "Weβre never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why donβt you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Donald Trump said to Trump
twitchquotes:
Donald Trump said to Trump while playing Trumps, βdid u Trumpβ¦Trump?β He replied βNo Trump I didnβt Trump while playing Trumpsβ¦Trumpβ, Trump then said βsounded like a Trumpet Trump, or did u do a Trump Trump that sounded like a Trumpet playing Trumpsβ¦Trumpβ, He replied βHey is that Brian Kibbler, Kibbler Brian of Brian Kibbler Gamingβ¦Kibbler Kibbler Brian Kibblerβ¦?β 
twitch chat
Trump