[Copypasta] KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: 🚨🚨🚨HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom🗽loving hoes💦👅👅👅who put the 🍑in IM🍑MENT😛😛😛looks like donald💰🤮finally got caught👩‍✈️👨‍✈️trying to call daddy ukraine🇺🇦🇺🇦 to take out hoe biden🧓🏻🔥 but now we need to RIDE🏇CUMgress 🏛raw😩😩👅👅 so they can’t back down️, send this to🔟of your💃🏻wokest📝woes🔥🍌or say 👋BYE to ur independence🙏🏻😩eating that IMPEACHMENT🇺🇸DAY🇺🇸ASS 🍑is the only️ ethical👌form of consumption😋😋😋under late capitalism💸💵💴💶so WE’RE ALL EATING TODAY☭☭☭️🍆🔥💦👅
twitch chat
December 2019

Monster Amogus Crewmate With Tongue

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⡗⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠯⠭⣉⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠉⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⡇⡘⠓⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢯⣀⠀⠀⣈⠆⢹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡞⢠⣿⣢⣌⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠏⠉⡉⠁⠀⣸⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⢁⡇⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣧⠤⠒⡎⢀⣠⠴⠯⣞⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⡎⣰⣇⠀⠙⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠓⠒⠦⣄⠙⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣶⣶⠿⠋⠀⢠⠀⡿⠛⣛⣿⠿⣿⡖⠒⠒⠲⠦⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠑⠀⠘⢦⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢃⡜⠙⠾⡋⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠶⣦⣿⣿⣾⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣟⡆⠀⠘⣧ ⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⢸⡶⢦⣴⠿⠆⠶⣿⡛⢿⡖⠦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠧⠄⣀⣀⠀⣀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠈⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢠⠟⠦⡀⠙⠳⠤⣀⠈⠛⠾⣷⡀⢧⡜⠛⢷⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⣼⣷⣶⡿⣶⠀⠀⢀⣷⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠾⣏⠛⠻⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠉⠛⠶⢤⣄⣀⢀⡇⣼⣋⠭⣿⢃⠙⡟⢉⣿⠀⢳⡀⢰⣿⠉⢿⠇⠀⣰⠙⣆⠀⠘⣮⠉⠛⠻⠶⢶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⢀⠝⢙⣧⣌⡉⠛⠛⠿⠴⠿⠿⠷⠆⣀⣷⣼⣇⣆⡈⣧⣴⣿⣃⣘⣆⠀⢸⠀⣠⠖⠊⠉⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⠷⠋⢠⠞⣿⠁⠙⢦⡼⠛⠉⠑⠒⣶⢰⡖⠲⠴⠠⠔⠫⢭⡄⠀⣠⣠⡌⣷⢸⡀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠻⠼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣮⡥⠔⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⢀⡇⠀⠻⣿⢸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻⢸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠘⠦⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠇⠀⠘⣧⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Chinese gibberish copypasta

twitchquotes: 臣亮言:先帝創業未半,而中道崩殂。今天下三分,益州疲弊,此誠危急存亡之秋也。然侍衛之臣,不懈於內;忠志之士,忘身於外者,蓋追先帝之殊遇,欲報之於陛下也。誠宜開張聖聽,以光先帝遺德,恢弘志士之氣;不宜妄自菲薄,引喻失義,以塞忠諫之路也。宮中府中,俱為體,陟罰臧否,不宜異同。若有作姦犯科,及為忠善者,宜付有司,論其刑賞,以昭陛下平明之治,不宜篇私,使內外異法也。侍中、侍郎郭攸之、費褘、董允等,此皆良實,志慮忠純,是以先帝簡拔以遺陛下。愚以為宮中之事,事無大前出師表
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait
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