[Copypasta] So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
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Creepy Clown

⣼⡟⠋⣀⣼⣾⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡘⢹⠄ ⡟⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣇ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⠄ ⡄⢸⣯⣥⡴⠒⢊⡁ ⭕ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁ ⭕ ⣆⠈⣁⣈⣿⣿⡴ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣆⣤⣾⣬⣭⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖⣀⣀⠄⣼⠄ ⢀⠘⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣴⣿⠏⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄⣼⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⠃⣰⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⣿⠏⣰⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⣝⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⠿⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿
March 2019

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

The feel when your favorite streamer is a feeder

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT FEEL FeelsBadMan WHEN FeelsBadMan YOUR FeelsBadMan FAVORITE FeelsBadMan STREAMER FeelsBadMan IS A FEEDER FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口 which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
January 2018

Pikachu

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September 2016

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing