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More Classic Copypastas
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
Shrek
Classic
Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you
twitchquotes:
Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
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Kripp
Classic
Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America
twitchquotes:
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γΒ° :.γ . β’ Β° γ .γ *γ:.γ.in a parallel universe* β ΒΈ γγγγΒ° βΎ Β°β γ. * ΒΈ.γγγβ
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Β° . .γγγγ.γβΎ Β°β γ. * β ΒΈ ..EUROPE...Β° βΎγβ
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γΒ° :.γ . β’ β Β° β
γ .γ * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA βΎγβ
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twitch chat
Classic
EU vs NA
What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?
twitchquotes:
What if I... put my Minecraft bed... π³ next to yours... π³ aha ha, just kidding.. π unless.. ? π³
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Classic
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro
twitchquotes:
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
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