[Copypasta] Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

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Based? Based on what?

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
December 2020

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Based

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

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December 2014

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Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
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Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
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AMOGUS (youtube video) v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⣀⢀⢀⠀⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡀⣀⠙⢷⡀⠺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢰⢿⣿⢻⡿⣿⢿⣯⡼⣧⡇⣿⡆⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⡀⠀⠘⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢷⣄⠈⢙⡷⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡴⠾⠋⠁⣠⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣤⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠻⠟⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⣠⣤⠤⠤⣄⡈⢻⡄⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⡖⠲⣶⣶⢤⡤⠤⣤⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠻⣷⣶⡶⠾⠃⠈⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡿⠿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢀⣉⣛⠛⠉⢠⡙⠲⢿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡇⠀⣿⣧⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⠛⠿⠿⠖⣎⣤⣶⡛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠠⢤⡀⠀⢀⡬⠟⣻⣿⣯⠍⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣠⠶⠶⠶⢶⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠋⠀⠀⣳⣾⡴⠂⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣰⣛⣛⣺⣀⣀⣸⣆⣀⣀⣸⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠓⢦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣷⣼⣵⣻⡄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣸⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⣀⣀⣸⠁⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣦⠀⢀⣟⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀
November 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing