Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
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More Classic Copypastas
Whoβs Joe? Joe Momma
"Whoβs joe?" a distant voice asks.
Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.
The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.
βJoe Mommaβ¦β the creature whispered.
The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.
"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
Classic
every youtube comment
No one:
Not a single soul:
This video: exists
This comment: hold my beer
Me: so you have chosen death
Death: that's a big yikes from me dawg
Also death: I wasn't expecting special forces
Me: mom can we have death
Mom: we already have death at home
Death at home: surprised pikachu face
This video literally makes me cry every time
Who else is watching this in ????
This video: wait that's illegal
Also this video: why do I hear boss music???
Thumbs up so he sees this comment in 14 years when this video gets recommended!
Edit: thanks for the likes XD
Classic
At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds
twitchquotes:
Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 
twitch chat
Classic
League of Legends
EU vs NA
GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME
πππ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE πππ
LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itβs the only weapon they have on us, but it wonβt work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donβt pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.
APES TOGETHER STRONG π¦ π π
WallStreetBets
Classic
40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14
twitchquotes:
This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up. 
twitch chat