Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
roleplay with you as your online gf
twitchquotes:
I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you donβt know me at all and i know itβs kinda weird. I just thought maybe itβd be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know youβre straight. Iβm a boy thatβs why I was saying roleplay.. this isnβt a troll. again, I know itβs really random and weird. Iβm sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here
twitch chat
Classic
My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???
He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
WallStreetBets
Classic
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
This endeavor of knowledge 5Head
twitchquotes:
π· Ah yes, I can feel my head throbbing with knowledge and wisdom as I sip upon this Sauvignon blanc. Come chatroom, who will join me in this endeavor of knowledge π·
π· Ah yes, I can feel my head throbbing with knowledge and wisdom as I sip upon this Sauvignon blanc. Come chatroom, who will join me in this endeavor of knowledge π·
twitch chat
Classic
Moon emoji blob
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