[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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Valorant censorship

At least you have the fucking balls to say it. Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
August 2021

Valorant

Illuminati

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February 2021

Fabulous

⊂_ヽ   \\ _    \( •_•) F     < ⌒ヽ A    /   へ\ B    /  / \\ U    レ ノ   ヽ_つ L   / / O   / /| U  ( (ヽ S  | |、\  | 丿 \ ⌒)  | |  ) / `ノ )  Lノ (_/
December 2020

WTF IS GIGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect seven letter emote for a mega-sized british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the MEGALUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could MEGALUL at the LUL fags but now GIGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

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