[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa

twitchquotes: I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔ down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍(I 👁 bless 🙏 the rain 🌧)I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍(I 👁 bless 🙏 the rain 🌧)I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains ☔ down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍I 👁 bless 🙏 the rains 🌧 down ⬇️ in Africa 🌍
twitch chat
September 2017

If you touched a slug it would die

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad you're so salty, if you touched a slug it would die
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

salty

xqcT

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠑⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠾⠷⠶⠶⠶⠒⠒⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⢠⠖⠲⠶⢶⣿⣶⡄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠖⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⠸⡏⠀⠀⠰⠀⣈⣿⠇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣴⣶⡿⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣴⣶⣶⣬⠻⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠘⢿⣿⣿⣷⠘⠿⣿⣯⣽⣾⣿⠿⠋⣉⣤⣴⣶⡆⢹⣿⣿⡆⠀ ⣀⠽⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣀⠀⠀⠈⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⣈⣉⠛⠁⠀ ⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣈⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⣀⣤⣶⣿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⡄⢹⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠸⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

lol not actually laughing

twitchquotes: Hi tyler1, i was just wondering as to why you type "lol" in the chat but on camera you are not actually laughing?
twitch chat
March 2019
Tyler1

Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing