[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Golden Kappa beta test

twitchquotes: Kappa ItsBoshyTime TWITCH WARNING: ItsBoshyTime This chat has been chosen for the Golden Kappa beta test. Every 100 Kappa s, one will be Golden!
twitch chat
October 2016

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked (7-11 diapers)

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, Hiko is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bunny hopped out the door
twitch chat
June 2021
Hiko

Valorant

Yoshi

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄▀▀▄▀▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░█▒▄░▄░░▒█▄▄▄░░░ ░░░▄▄█░▀░▀░░░█▄▓▓█░░ ░▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▀█▓▄ ▄▀▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒█▓▓█ █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄░░░░▒▒██▀ ▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▀░░▒▄█▄▀░░ ░░▀▀▄▄▄▄█▄░░▒▒▀▄█▄▄░
November 2014

ANY LOSERS?

November 2020

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing