[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS

twitchquotes: DansGame TELL US DansGame I LOVE YOU GUYS DansGame OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME DansGame FOR 10DAYS DansGame NON STOP DansGame Clap
twitch chat
April 2018

It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gamer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gaymer house. Zachary “Sneaky” Scuderi dishes up a steaming plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. William “Meteos” Hartman looks up from his plate with a gleam in his eye. “I got the meat right here for you baby.” Lubing up with Marinara Sauce, Meteos begins to pound his sausage into sneaky’s lightly buttered dinner roll. With a scream of delight Meat-eos releases his load calling an end to another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
July 2015
Sneaky

KappaPride

League of Legends

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

FeelsGoodMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠔⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⢼⡤⠔⠒⠀⠐⠒⠢⠌⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣒⠶⠤⠭⠭⢝⡢⣄⢤⣄⣒⡶⠶⣶⣢⡝⢿⣿ ⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠲⠮⢕⣽⠖⢩⠉⠙⣷⣶⣮⡍⢉⣴⠆⣭⢉⠑⣶⣮⣅⢻ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠒⠻⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⡿⠫⣿⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠭⣥⣀⣉⡩⡥⠴⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠁⣴⣾⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠓⠲⡤⠤⠖⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣽⣽⣛⣟⣻⠷⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⠾⠟⣯⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

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