[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Absence of the "legendary" card back

twitchquotes: ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ ) Hello Kripparian. Reginald and Dan Dinh, Owners of Team SoloMid™ here. We gained access to your Hearthstone account and couldn't help but notice the absence of the "legendary" card back. This poorly reflects on Team SoloMid, and, as such, we have decided to remove you from the team. Please return your jacket. Thank you ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ )
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chibi Link

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣟⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⠽⡝⡎⡏⠭⡪⠪⡒⣽⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⢝⢎⢝⢜⠸⡨⢊⢌⠪⡈⢪⢸⢸⢽⢯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢟⢵⠹⡘⠔⡡⠑⢠⣕⣬⣖⣮⡾⠯⢟⣆⠣⡫⡹⡱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣵⡥⡊⠄⣗⢶⡛⠖⣶⣿⣟⡗⠞⢿⢯⣗⡇⢅⠣⡱⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠌⡮⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣟⢮⡺⡔⠡⡊⡎⡼⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣵⡹⡙⡇⢟⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣟⣾⣻⣟⣟⣞⡝⡞⡆⡑⡘⡨⢨⡢⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣟⡯⡇⠪⡿⣞⣯⡿⣫⣖⢮⢜⢮⡺⡜⡎⡇⡃⢜⢼⠸⢑⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⣣⣥⠷⣿⣮⡝⢕⠵⡹⡪⡣⡣⡣⡣⢃⢂⠂⢇⢆⣢⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⣵⣕⣛⣽⣕⠿⡷⣧⣈⡢⡁⠅⢁⢂⢂⢢⣿⣔⠅⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡯⢏⣞⣯⣟⣛⢿⢽⢟⡽⣎⢯⢝⡝⡦⡁⢆⠐⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⡸⡪⣓⣛⣛⡝⡿⢿⢝⢞⢎⢇⢵⢹⢌⢢⠑⢌⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢎⡎⡌⠪⢸⡑⡘⡜⠅⡃⡱⠡⡣⡣⡣⢃⠪⡊⢆⠌⠨⣻⣿⡿⠛⢋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⢻⢌⢬⢜⠸⠨⡨⡐⢔⢌⢌⢎⠎⠆⢂⠑⢌⡂⠅⢌⢢⢛⠠⠊⡄⡛⡻⡻⡿⢿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢜⡤⡱⢸⠨⠪⡐⡨⡰⡑⡅⡇⠅⠨⢈⠐⠠⢘⠠⠐⡐⠄⡂⢕⢦⢪⢦⣗⣮⣷⣭⣮⣮⣾⡵⣧⣧⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣪⡣⣝⢭⢊⢆⢇⢇⠇⠡⢐⠨⠐⢌⠊⠅⠅⢌⢻⣄⢕⢰⣶⣾⣼⣵⣷⣽⣺⡯⡿⣷⣿⡯⡺⣚⣮⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣜⢜⢜⡮⠘⠂⠆⠅⢢⣡⠑⠐⠁⡁⠅⠱⢿⣿⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡹⠈⠄⠠⠄⣿⣿⡈⠄⡀⠄⠄⠐⡐⠐⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡊⠄⠡⢈⣄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

12-1 Cheerleaders

twitchquotes: ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁ This is the 12-1 Cheerleaders, Go Kripp Go! ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

EU is a 3rd world country

twitchquotes: Kripp pls make up with papa so u can go to the doctors, you cannot get help in a 3rd world country AKA the EU pls come back to NA where we have doctors
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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