[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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I had dreams and ambitions of becoming a pro 1v1 player

twitchquotes: Hello OddOne, my name is Gustavian. I had dreams and ambitions, of becoming a professional 1v1 player. I picked this game up yesterday, with hopes and dreams. But you picked a fucking stupid op noob champ, and i lost my 2 bucks because of you. Now i have to stay at my aunts house in Nigeria, because i cant take the train home to Uganda.
twitch chat
September 2014
TheOddOne

Surprised anime face

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠊⠙⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣴⢾⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢽⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣛⣻⠿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣷⣽⠻⣇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣵⣿⣟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠱⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⢮⣚⡛⠒⠛⢛⣋⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⠿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣺⢿
November 2018

Weebs

This ZeRo guy seems pretty good

twitchquotes: This ZeRo guy seems pretty good. He could be a top player in a few months or maybe even #1.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

:3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣼⠁⠀⠈⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⢟⣩⣾⠿⠋⠁⠀⢠⣴⣧⣤⣤⣤⣿⡏⠈ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠽⠛⠉⠀⠚⠉⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠉⠂ ⣿⠏⢸⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀ ⣩⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠳⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠻⢿ ⠹⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢈ ⡀⠈⠂⡀⣙⢩⢿⡿⠝⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠻⣿⠃⠀⢀⡘ ⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣶⣶⠶⠟⠋⠙⢶⣤⣴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼ ⣮⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿
August 2020

Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn

twitchquotes: Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn here. We have received word you are singing to your viewers. As a Streamer on our newest acquisition, Twitch, your voice is now copy-righted. Please stop immediately. Thank you.
twitch chat
August 2014
TidesOfTime
Text-to-Speech Playing