[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Type :) if you have crippling depression

twitchquotes: type :) if you have Crippling Depression :)
twitch chat
September 2018

Leifman is awkward

twitchquotes: When leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward. Leifman get rekt by the kripp and feel at one with the cringe. all becoming unmod leifman.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

How Trump can still win

How Trump can still win: under section 34 of Secure Credits and Taxes act, the president can induce artificial inflation and if the inflation gets high enough, technically Trump can declare emergency powers and not leave the office, google "Trump SCAT inflation rule 34" for more info
December 2020

2020 US Election

Patrick Star - I am back

──────────────────────── ─────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄────── ────────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█───── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀───── ──────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█────── ─────▄▀▒▄▄▄▒▄▄▄▒▒█──I─── ─────█▒▒─▀─▒─▀─▒▒█──AM── ─────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█──BACK ────▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▀▀▄─── ──▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─ ─█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒█─ ─▀▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▀─ ───█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█─── ───▀█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█▀─── ─────█▒▒▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒█──── ──────▀▀─────────▀▀─────
August 2015
Kripp

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye 😂 Yuh 👌🏾👀 Uh 😔😤 Skrrrt 💨🤔 I 👁 hate 😡 people 👫 who have a different 😡 skin 💅🏻👑 color 🎨 from me (x32) instrumental 🎺 break 💔 I 👁👀 hate 😡🌚 people 👫 who have a different 👀❓⁉ skin 💅🏻👑 color 🏳️‍🌈 from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing