[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Porn scene fanfic

Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?" THEY FUCK
July 2022

Every 60 seconds in Murica, 60000 burgers are digested

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Eᴠᴇʀʏ 60 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs ɪɴ Mᴜʀɪᴄᴀ, 60,000 ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ. Tᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪs. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Plankton

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September 2021

Full Doge

░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄ ░░░░░░░░▌▒█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▌ ░░░░░░░░▌▒▒█░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▄▄▀▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒▄█▒▐ ░░░▄▀▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀██▀▒▌ ░░▐▒▒▒▄▄▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▌ ░░▌░░▌█▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▐ ░▐░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌██▀▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀▄▌ ░▌░▒▄██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▌ ▌▒▀▐▄█▄█▌▄░▀▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▐ ▐▒▒▐▀▐▀▒░▄▄▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▒▌ ▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐ ░▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▌ ░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐ ░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▄▒▒▒▒▌ ░░░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▄▀ ░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▀ ░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀
November 2016

Forsen banned

twitchquotes: Twitch streamer Forsen was banned on May 8th for a misleading stream title "ranking up" when playing Valorant. Twitch strictly forbids false advertisement from streamers on its platform. It's unclear when Forsen will be unbanned but no one watches a washed up streamer anyways.
twitch chat
May 2020
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing