[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021

The Manny Will Not Be Televised

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠸⡆⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⣹⣿⠧⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⣠⠴⠶⠶⠆⠀⠟⣉⣍⡛⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡏⠰⢇⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⠷⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠋⠉⠙⠗⠀⠰⠽⠿⠅⠀⠀⠘⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⣆⠀ ⢸⡇⠛⠙⠃⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡿⠀ ⠀⠙⠒⠒⢺⡇⠙⣝⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⣶⣶⣶⢶⡶⠶⠶⠤⢤⠤⢤⠤⠤⠤⢴⠶⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠋⣀⣉⢙⣇⣀⣀⣀⣼⠀⠸⣄⣀⣀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⢠⡞⠿⣽⡿⢉⡿⠋⣀⠉⡉⠻⣄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⢦⡀⠷⢿⠀⣾⠁⣸⠃⡶⢘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡈⠉⠉⢋⣙⣻⠵⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Oop gotta sign a petition
July 2020

ISIS threatens Kripp

twitchquotes: لام ، Kripp ، میرے دوست ، اس کے اپنے مقامی ISIS باب سے ہے . میں نے حال ہی میں اپنے میدان ڈیک میں بمباروں کی کمی محسوس کیا ہے . یہ بالکل حرام ہیں اور اللہ کی توہین ہے . آپ ثقافتی تنوع کے بارے میں سب سے اوپر پرواہ ہے آپ کو آپ کے ڈیک کے سب آگے بڑھنے کے لئے ان کارڈز شامل کریں گے! دوسری صورت میں ہم آپ کو کچھ "گھڑیوں" بھیجنے کے لئے مجبور کیا جائے گا . میں تمہیں دھمکی گے لیکن یہ میری خوبصورت اونٹ کی بیوی سے محبت کرنے کا وقت ہے . الوداعی ، Kripp
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My instagram explore tab is full of...

My instagram explore tab is full of asian girls. How do I get rid of this so my gf doesn't see?
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