[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky

😂😂OMG 😂 you’re so FUNNY 🤣 🤣 so quirky 👉👈 🤪 so different 🤩absolute crackhead energy 🤪🤪 comedic genius🧠 😂 I literally can’t ❌ breathe 😭 i’m crying dude 😭😭 that was so hilarious 😆 u really got the whole squad laughing 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦😂👩‍👩‍👦‍👦😂👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 high IQ comedy 🧠🧠 how’d you come up with that 🧐😂 really original work 😂 never seen 🙈 or heard 🙉 anything like that before 😂 😂 😂 great 👍 job 👍👍 keep up the funnies 👑🤣👑 i love you 💕 😘 you’re my inspiration 🤩🤩🤩 if only i were as funny 😄 or smart 🤓 or cool 😎 as you 😔 but its whatever I’ll continue to watch 👁👄👁 your content 🎥🤳 because it ❌NEVER EVER❌ fails to make me laugh 😂😂 thank you 🙏 for existing 😇 and doing what you do ❤️❤️
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

Annoyed Anime Girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣎⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠏⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⡈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠈⢳⣶⣤⣄⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⣼⡇⠀⠘⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⡀⠌⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⡏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠋⢰⢠⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢷⡃⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣯⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣼⣿⡄⠀⠈⠀⢑⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⠴⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⠿⠧⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀
April 2020

2 games 1 stream

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Twitch Staff. We have noticed that you are trying to become a hardcore player again, since you broke the laws of physics and play 2 games on 1 stream, when the laws of physics clearly says: "How can there be 2 games, when only 1 channel?". We hope that you will stop this, and become a casual player again. Please don't repost this. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing