[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life

twitchquotes: Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life. My mommy tells me to man up. My daddy disowned me. All the kids pick on me at school and push me over. Even my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't play Draven. Tyler could you please mod me so I may ban people randomly in your chat to be alpha :)
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March 2018
Tyler1

Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
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January 2015
Kripp

When chat spam my kripp stream crashes

twitchquotes: Hey guys. I am living in poor family with low interneting and very cheap pc barely handle kripp stream at 5 fps and when chat spam my kripp stream crashes so please dont spam the chat thank you.
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November 2014
Kripp

France always loses wars to England?

You’re right, France does always lose wars to England. Except: The Norman invasion 1066. The Anglo-French War 1213-1214. Anglo-French War 1294-1303. War of Saint-Sardos 1324. Hundred Years’ War 1337-1453. War of the league of Cambrai 1512-1514. Italian War of 1542-46. The Rough Wooing 1543-1550. Italian War of 1551-59. English expedition to France 1562-1563. The Anglo-French War 1627-1629. Second Anglo-Dutch War 1665-1667. The Nine Years’ War 1688-1697. The American Revolutionary War. War of the French Revolution 1793-1802. Anglo-Spanish War 1796-1808. War of the First Coalition. War of the Second Coalition. War of the Third Coalition. War of the Fourth Coalition. And the War of the Fifth Coalition. But aside from all those England always beats France.
May 2021

DMCA is here guys

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ DMCA is here guys
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing