[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

EU is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport

twitchquotes: EMEA “Earliest Movement to Every Airport” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the Valorant Masters, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport Any % and Airport Latam Any %
twitch chat
October 2021

EU vs NA

You suck

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⡀⣰⡿⠁⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣶⡀⢸⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡟⠁⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⢸⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣶⡾⠟⠀⠈⠻⣷⣶⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⡞⠛⠿⠦⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⠿⠿⣶⡀⢸⣿⠀⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠷⣶⣤⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠲⣧⣤⣼⠿⠀⠸⢿⣦⣴⡿⠃⠀⠹⢿⣤⣴⡿⠁⢸⣿⠁⠈⢿⣷⡀⠀
June 2019

Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist

"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?" Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?" Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-" Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?" Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-" Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?" Reporter: (silence) Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o." (Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question) "B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o." Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-" (The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben) All: "And Bingo was his name-o!" (Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
October 2021

Ben Shapiro

WE DIDIN'T START THE KAPPA

twitchquotes: ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ WE DIDIN'T START THE KAPPA ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ IT WAS ALREADY SPREADING THE MOMENT WE GOT HERE ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Among Us pick up lines

Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead? Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you. Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you. I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first. Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body. Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder. I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you. Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine. Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then? If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want. Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over. Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing