[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Big Chungus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⠀⢰⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡄⢸⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⢸⡄⠸⣿⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⢸⡅⠀⣿⢠⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣥⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣿⣿⡿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠀⠉⡙⢔⠛⣟⢋⠦⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣄⠀⠀⠁⣿⣯⡥⠃⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠠⠊⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡜⣭⠤⢍⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢛⢭⣗⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⣀⠝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠀⠰⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⡀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠔⠠⡕⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣶⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠉⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠤⠀⠀⢤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣦⣀⢀⡠⢤⡤⠄⠀⠒⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢘⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡐⠈⠁⠈⠛⣛⠿⠟⠑⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠑⠒⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

OOOOAAAAHH

twitchquotes: ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I love you chat FeelsGoodMan

⣿⠭⣿⣿⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⣿⠿⠻⣿⣿⡛⣿⡟⢻⠟⣫⡙⣿⠛⣿⢻⣿ ⣿⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⢋⣶⡆⣿⠈⢏⣼⠃⣬⠕⣿⣿⣷⡘⢡⣿⠸⠟⣡⣿⠠⢟⢸⣿ ⣿⣼⣿⣿⣤⣿⣬⣭⣶⣿⣧⡾⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣯⣙⡁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡛⣻⡇⢟⠋⣿⣏⠭⠈⣯⡆⢰⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣾⠟⣻⠁⣿⠄⣟⢑⣫⣀⣿⣇⣨⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣳⣴⣿⠿⠯⠽⣻⢿⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣾⣿⣫⣵⣶⣿⡿⠿⠶⠮⠙⠿⠛⣛⣩⣭⡭⠟⠛⠚⠛⣻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡫⢕⣢⠭⠤⢤⣤⣏⣩⠪⣙⡠⢤⡩⠍⠄⢤⣄⡰⢙⣿ ⣿⢳⣏⣾⣿⣿⡩⠭⣱⣶⣿⠁⠨⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⠄⠥⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣾ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⠽⢻⠦⢀⣀⣤⠾⢿⣛⡯⣛⣻⣿⠦⢀⣀⣴⣛⡻⣯⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣶⡶⠶⢤⣤⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣃⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣛⠷⢾⣭⣝⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣛⢫⣿⣿ ⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣽⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿ ⠄⠁⠨⠑⠲⠭⢭⣭⣽⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2019

Pepe

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