[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Lapras

─────────────────███▓ ─────████───────█────▓ ───██░───██────█░░────▓ ──█░───────█───█░░░░──▓ ──█░░─░─────███████░░░─▓ ─█░░░░██────█──────██░░▓ ─█░░░█░░█───▓────────█░▓██ ─█░░░░░░░█────────────██──█ ──█░░░░░░█───────────░░───█ ──█░░░░░░█░──────────────█ ───██░░░█░░░──────────░─░█ ─────███░░░░░▓██░░▒────░░█ ──────█░░░░░────█░░▒──────▓ ──────█░░▓░░───▒─█░▒──────▓ ──────█░▓▓░░░░─█▒█░▒──────▓ ──────█░▓░░░░░░▓███────────▓ ──────█░░░░▒█░░░░░░░░─────░█ ───────█░░▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ───────█░░▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ───────█░░▒▒▒▒▒██░░░░░░░▓░░█ ────────█░▒▒▓▒▒▒▒███▓▓░░░░█ ────────█░░▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓░░█ ────────█░░▒▒▒▒▓▓██████─██ ────────█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒█
April 2017

Pokemon

redz

twitchquotes: i will rub ur back and if i like the tip tat u sending...i might just give u a happy ending Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!

twitchquotes: Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!!! Someone just told me you didnt say Thank you... You will change your manners!!! REMEMBER i brought you into this world i can take you out of it!!!
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say that a person who does this is an idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta and respect my right to paste unfunny copypasta in chat. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.
October 2016

I sexually Identify as

ME BOT ME SPAM NO VIEWERS IF BAN

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid ME BOT MrDestructoid ME SPAM MrDestructoid NO VIEWERS MrDestructoid IF BAN MrDestructoid
twitch chat
January 2017

Viewbots

Text-to-Speech Playing