[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is the administrator of PornHub™ we have noticed you haven’t logged in for 2 weeks, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a list of videos from your favourite category (Asian). See you soon!
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

ZULUL 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠏⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣠⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⢀⡀⠄⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⢠⣀⣤⣍⡻⣿⣧⡀⠤⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡇⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⢒⠄⣀⠄⠠⠘⢨⣈⢿⣿⣿⣤⣤⡚⠫⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⣰⣿⣆⢿⠋⣀⣀⣰⡏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣧⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠈⠁⠚⠛⠛⠙⠻⢿⣟⠛⣉⠄⠁⠉⢩⣼⠁⠓⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡷⠉⢀⣿⡏⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠉⠉⣉⠉⣩⠉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣷⡴⠿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠋⠛⠛⠛⠋⠛⠉⠒⠻⠛⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠛⠓⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste?

twitchquotes: Really? Is saying "Don't copy paste this" some secret phrase for "actually copy paste this". How about you respect people's wishes and not copy paste if they ask you not to. Please don't copy paste this.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

All is then right with the world

twitchquotes: Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

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