[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⠠⠤⣤⡤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⡲⠶⣺⡋⠋⠁⠄⠄⠙⠢⡀⠘⠱⠱⡄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠔⠋⠄⠄⣴⣿⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄⠁⠹⡏⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⣼⠿⢿⣻⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠃⠄⠢⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠖⢟⠕⣪⣤⣴⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢳⣿⣶ ⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠻⡃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢹⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠻⣿⣿⡽⠋⠉⢉⣍⣽⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠶⢼⣿ ⣮⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠈⣿⣿⣷⡠⠄⣶⣦⣽⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⠡⢿⢨⣿ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⡞⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠐⡶⠄⠁⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠙⢿⣇⠙⣋⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡀⠉⠄⠧⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣄⠄⠐⠒⠛⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠐⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠈⣿⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2021

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⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠁⠁⣠⣀⣀⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠙⢿⣯⣠⣶⣦⣤⣤⣌⣛⠻⢇⣠⣤⣤⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⡤⢤⣤⣤⡍⠛⢡⢖⣥⣶⣦⣀⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⡏⣭⣶⣿⣿⠟⢿⣦⡡⣿⣿⡇⠁⡙⣷⡀ ⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⡟⢀⡀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣀⣁⣿⠏ ⠁⠁⠁⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢰⢻⣿⣇⣈⣴⣿⠟⢨⣛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠁ ⠁⣠⣶⣿⣿⡟⢋⠤⣤⠘⢿⣿⣧⡙⠻⠌⠒⠙⠛⢛⣫⣥⣿⣦⡈⠉⣡⣴⣾⠇ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⠁⠙⠷⣤⡙⠻⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠁ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣄⠁⣀⡀⠉⠙⠒⠂⠉⠍⠉⠉⠉⠉⣩⣍⣁⣂⡈⠠⠂⠁⠁ ⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡉⠳⢬⣛⠷⢦⡄⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠁⠁ ⠁⠁⠁⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣓⡒⠒⣒⣂⣠⡬⠽⠓⠂⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
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So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
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May 2021
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