[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire to continue using our services please renew your account by logging into your account and from the home page go to: My account > Viewbot Status > Renew subscription. This message will repeat until the end of your subscription in 72 hours. Thank you for your dedicated service.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Viewbots

Classic

Cock and ball torture

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
August 2021

NSFW

Alright, Nario Quesadilla

twitchquotes: Alright, Nario Quesadilla. You had your fun bullying kids on quickplay and making them salty. Hope you feel proud, you’re not making ult online any better, personally I’m going back at watching ZeRo.
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

They were tears of pain

twitchquotes: They were not tears of salt; they were tears of pain. Jowi03 was devastated after being beaten by Kripp. The supple, 11 year old child wails aloud, his dream shattered, realizing he will never be a professional gamer. “I’m not going 0-3,” Kripp lashes with his sinister tongue. Yes, just another ‘easy win’ for Kripparrian...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

happE

⡿⡿⠟⠓⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣬⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣟⣱⡿⠿⠿⠿⣮⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢿⣿⡿⢁⢀⣀⣀⣀⣬⣉⣙⠋⠛⠿⢿⣿ ⣟⣛⣡⣤⣤⣁⣀⣄⣉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⡿⠻⠛⠭⠿⡿⠯⣭⣟⡻⢿⣶⣦⣀⢙ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⣛⣛⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⢇⣨⢶⣿⣶⡾⢶⣶⡶⢤⣤⣤⣀⠟⢉⣛⣓ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⡻⣮⣵ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠿⣆⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢋⣀⣒⣀⣐⣫⡍⠛⠿⠪⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢏⠀⣿⣏⣠⣽⣍⣍⣡⣾⣿⣿⣟⣋⣋⣓⣓⣼⣥⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡌⢦⢻⣮⡁⣼⣿⢭⣭⣉⣭⣭⣭⣉⣭⢛⡉⣛⢛⡛⠛⣠⡌⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿ ⣙⢿⣿⡜⣿⣿⣷⡹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⢃⣴⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⡗⠦⣀⣀⢀⠐⠒⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢏⣾⢏⢽⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠙⣾⣏⢧⣼⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⡋⠿⣾⣿⣿⣾ ⢿⣿⣿⠐⠄⠺⣿⣾⢟⣻⣿⣿⣛⡿⠿⢿⣾⣟⣭⡾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣾⡻⣿⠿⠛ ⠀⡹⣿⡆⠈⣠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⢖⠝⠁⡳⣾⣾
July 2022
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing