[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say

twitchquotes: Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say. Seraphine isn’t “imaginary.” She posts real tweets, feels real emotions, makes real music... All you trolls are MALDING because she doesn’t reply to your tweet comments probably. Not me though.. I have full faith in her. That’s why she replied to me a couple days ago when I congratulated her.. she literally replied? And said thanks??
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Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
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I cam I saw I came I saw

twitchquotes: I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I praise 🙏 the Lord 😇 then break 💥 the law 👩‍⚖️ I take 🖐️ what's mine 🙋‍♂️ then take 🖐️ some more 😌 It rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆ it rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆
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⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

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Investigating criminal codenamed Forsen

twitchquotes: ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴜsᴇʀs: ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴘᴏʟ ᴀɢᴇɴᴛ ɢɪɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛɪɢᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴇʀɪᴀʟ ʀᴀᴘɪsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ sʏᴍᴘᴀᴛʜɪᴢᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴅᴇɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀsᴇɴ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇɴᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜs ᴄʀɪᴍɪɴᴀʟ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen
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