[Copypasta] How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Positive streamers only

twitchquotes: Hi Mewnfare, it's Cliff, from Blizzard. Heard you were having some issues with matchmaking in our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, due to the notes 'Salt mine Overlord' and 'Hots Suggardaddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only positive streamers can play with a proper matchmaking today. Feel free to submit an appeal to our support team.
twitch chat
November 2020
mewnfare

I want thank chat for many message, help cover our trail

twitchquotes: Hello pals sorry for bad england. I come on website to speak to girl from village. Is place where she can speak without state see because message move fast. I talk with her once month. Cost twenty fennix money for half hour internet to talk. I want thank chat for many message, help cover our trail. No copy my heartfelt message please
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

twitchquotes: My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

krippO

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August 2016
Kripp

GIFF 2GD

twitchquotes: つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing