[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

The default Fortnite dance is truly a masterpiece

twitchquotes: The default dance is truly a masterpiece. Never, in all of history, has such an artistic masterpiece ever been created. The choreography is possibly the most beautiful sight ever beheld by the human eye. The sharp sound of the SLAP when the player’s hands collide perfectly with the beat of the song sends a bone chilling shiver down my spine, every single time I hear it. I find my self watching my in-game avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual for hours on end.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

OMEGALUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⠛⠃⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣯⠭⠤⠬⣉⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⠈⠿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠙⢈⡩⠤⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⠤⣉⡉⠛⢯⡙⠻⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠄⠊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒⢄⡈⢢⣈⠻⣿⡆⠄⢠ ⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢄⠻⣦⣘⣷⠄⢸ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡈⢿⣿⠄⠘ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠸⡟⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⣸ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿ ⡇⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⠄⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠂⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⡙⢿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠞⠁⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⠾⠛⠁⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠋⢉⣁⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2018

You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

twitchquotes: You notice a wall of text in twitch chat and your hand instinctively goes to the mouse. You scroll up to stop the chat elevator and read the pasta, indulging in its delights... You soon realize that this pasta conveys no information nor is particularly witty or funny. Nevertheless, you drag your mouse across, hit Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V and press Enter
twitch chat
March 2016

Classic

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