[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Goomba

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄██▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░█░▀██░░░░░░░░░░██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄██▄░░░░░░▄██▄░░░█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀──▀█▄░░░░▄█▀──▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀───▄─██░░██─▄───▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░█───███─█░░█─███───█░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░█────▀──█░░█──▀────█░░░░░▀▄░░░ ░▄▀░░░░░░░█──────█░░░░█──────█░░░░░░░▀▄░ █░░░░░▄░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░▄░░░░░█ █░░░░░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▐░░░░░█ █░░░░▐▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▌░░░░█ █░░░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░░█ ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░ ░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
ascii art
September 2021

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

I officially hate Twitch

twitchquotes: I officially hate Twitch. I worked so hard all day to make a copy pasta that would take the OWL by storm. But no one is considerate enough to copy it with me. Maybe I should just spam J LUL K E like the rest of you sheep
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Cattarrian warns Pupparrian

twitchquotes: "Welcome to your new home,” says the Kripp as he carries the Pupparrian in his bony arms. The puppy leaps from his uncomfortable position onto the ground and begins to run around. Soon, he grows tired and goes to bed. That night, a ghostly cat visits the Pupparrian in his sleep. “Flee,” warns the Cattarrian, “The Kripp plans on eating you, as he once ate me.”
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing