Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
RETARD WAVE
twitchquotes:
ďžâăŽâ)ďž:ăťďž RETARD WAVE!!:âø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸âø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø⸸ø¤º°¨â ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
F to pay McRespects
Ma'am, you may want to McSit⢠down for this. We are deeply McSorry⢠to inform you your husband has McPerished⢠in the McLine⢠of duty. He bravely led a McCharge⢠against the Burger Emperor's Armyâ˘, and through his McBravery⢠we were able to hold the McLine⢠long enough for McReinforcements⢠to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor⢠for his McServiceâ˘, and for his McBravery⢠we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal⢠as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine⢠Corps will never be forgotten.
Are we human or are we dancer?
twitchquotes:
Îśŕźźâ ÍŮÍ â༽ᶠá´Ęá´ á´Ąá´ Ęá´á´á´É´ á´Ę á´Ęá´ á´Ąá´ á´
á´É´á´á´Ę? Îśŕźźâ ÍŮÍ âŕź˝áś
twitch chat
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! đ
My girlfriendâs dad is a banking exec (post on /r/cryptocurrency)
My girlfriendâs dad is a banking exec, I told him Iâm all in on crypto
He and I met yesterday. He is a kind and mild mannered guy who comes off as deeply intelligent. I asked him how he felt about decentralized finance and he said it was a risky venture (no surprise from his banking point of view) and anyone putting money into it is a fool.
He seemed disappointed that his daughterâs boyfriend wanted to talk about crypto. For me, crypto has fundamentally changed my life - it has taught me about finance, geopolitics, and that I have the agency to live a life I wasnât sure was possible. So, when he seemed disappointed, what did I do? I doubled down. I gave an impassioned speech about why cryptocurrency is changing the world and democratizing resources that traditionally only the wealthy had access to. It is giving poor communities a fighting chance and that it is revolutionary and something that is a big part of my investment strategy.
I donât know what the point of this post is, but I just, idk, he made me feel like a fool of an investor because he either just doesnât get it or is scared of it and I feel like his view of me has become less favorable in terms of dating his daughter, but Iâm going to stand up for what I believe in.
Ramble over.