[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises. I am sorry to say that your "VeganHub account" has expired and will need to be renewed. We suggest you try our "VeganHub Premium account" subscription. You can watch videos in 1080p ,60 fps, costs $12.99 and lasts you a year. You will also get exclusive access to videos such as, "Young Cob gets plowed", and , "Two lettuces, 1 knife". Since you are a loyal customer you will get a 10% discount this time.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

Female Amogus Crewmate v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠖⠛⠓⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣏⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠋⠉⠀⠈⠉⠻⣄⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣉⠉⣉⢉⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠴⢿⣿⠋⠉⣹⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣴⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠛⠀⠀⢹⡟⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⣶⣤⣤⠀ ⢠⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⣛⣇⠀⠀⠀⣈⡷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠈⠙⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠋⢁⣼⣏⣡⣤⣤⢐⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣷⢤⣀⡀⢸⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣄⠈⢡⣾⣉⡤⠚⣩⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣈⡙⠻⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠈⠻⣯⡴⠋⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣿⢶⣤⣿⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠙⢻⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠽⣿⣽⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⡿⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠀⠈⠻⣷⣿⣿⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡰⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED

WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! 😂😂👀 "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! 😤😤😂 His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment 😏. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" 😬😲. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦‍♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.😏😂
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing