[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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Response to Sadge brother letter

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Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty

twitchquotes: โ˜…ใ€€ใ€€โ˜… ยฐ โ˜พ โ˜† ยธ. ยธ ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข โ—‹ ยฐ โ˜…ใ€€ .ใ€€ *ใ€€.ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ ยฐ ใ€€ยธ. * โ— ยธ .ใ€€...somewhereใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ยฐ โ˜พ ยฐ ใ€€ยธ. โ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข ยฐ ใ€€ .ใ€€ *ใ€€:.ใ€€.in a parallel universe* โ— ยธ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ยฐ โ˜พ ยฐโ˜† ใ€€. * ยธ.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€โ˜… ยฐ . .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€โ˜พ ยฐโ˜† ใ€€. * โ— ยธ ..Reynad...ยฐ โ˜พใ€€โ˜… ยฐโ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข โ—‹ ยฐ โ˜…ใ€€ .ใ€€ * Isn't salty โ˜พใ€€โ˜… ยฐโ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ
twitch chat
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You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

Youโ€™ve ๐Ÿ“ก๐Ÿ‘จ seen ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ค๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Miku on ๐Ÿ”› stage, 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’– but ๐Ÿ˜  what ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ about ๐Ÿฅด your ๐Ÿ‘‰ wrist? โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World ๐ŸŒ is an AR game ๐ŸŽฏ using ๐Ÿ˜ wristbands, now ๐Ÿซ‚ featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even โœ‹ save ๐ŸฆŽ the world! ๐ŸŒ Do ๐Ÿ‘€ You ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ฆ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World? ๐ŸŒŽ wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ world ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020
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