[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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More Copypastas

Elder Scrolls developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (The Elder Scrolls: Legendsβ„’ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your TES:L shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel. ;)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished?

o-o-owo swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished? (β€’Ο‰β€’) pwease sway wes im hworny ;3 i want-want ywou to gwo h-hard and f-f-f-f-f-fast....ah~ >/////< oh sweet mwother owf onii-chan.....AH~ it hwurts swenpai :( but i wove it ;3
August 2021

UwU

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IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE??????

Did someone say sus 😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’― RED IS SO SUSSSSS πŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸ•΅οΈπŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯πŸ₯ WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🀬😑🀬😑🀬😑🀬🀬😑🀬🀬😑 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜ πŸ”«πŸ˜  Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

Chess

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing