[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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OGN's mods

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ OGN, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Hɪᴛʟᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʀʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇғs.
twitch chat
March 2014
OGN Hearthstone

Hydra

⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⡤⠦⣤⣀⣤⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣭⣭⣿⣶⣿⣦⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⠤⠄⡠⢾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡛⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⢧⠄⢻⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠢⣀⡀⠈⠙⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠄⠡⠌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣳⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣧⣶⣥⡤⢄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠘⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⡦⢹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢊⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣠⣄⣾⠄⠄⠄ ⣠⣿⠿⠛⠄⢀⣿⣿⣷⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⢸⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⣸⣿⣿⡇⣪⣿⡿⠿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡟⠌⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⣌⡇⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠐⣿⣿⡇⠄⠛⠻⢷⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠫⢿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⠄⠄⣶⠄⢶⣆⢀⣶⠂⣶⡶⠶⣦⡄⢰⣶⠶⢶⣦⠄⠄⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠶⠶⣿⠄⠈⢻⣿⠁⠄⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⢶⣾⠏⠄⣸⣟⣹⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠷⠶⠿⠃⠸⠿⠄⠙⠷⠤⠿⠉⠉⠿⠆⠄⠄
March 2020

Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

Absence of the "legendary" card back

twitchquotes: ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ ) Hello Kripparian. Reginald and Dan Dinh, Owners of Team SoloMid™ here. We gained access to your Hearthstone account and couldn't help but notice the absence of the "legendary" card back. This poorly reflects on Team SoloMid, and, as such, we have decided to remove you from the team. Please return your jacket. Thank you ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ )
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

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