Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Pepega
⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠁⠁⣠⣀⣀⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠙⢿⣯⣠⣶⣦⣤⣤⣌⣛⠻⢇⣠⣤⣤⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⡤⢤⣤⣤⡍⠛⢡⢖⣥⣶⣦⣀⠁⠁
⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⡏⣭⣶⣿⣿⠟⢿⣦⡡⣿⣿⡇⠁⡙⣷⡀
⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⡟⢀⡀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣀⣁⣿⠏
⠁⠁⠁⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢰⢻⣿⣇⣈⣴⣿⠟⢨⣛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠁
⠁⣠⣶⣿⣿⡟⢋⠤⣤⠘⢿⣿⣧⡙⠻⠌⠒⠙⠛⢛⣫⣥⣿⣦⡈⠉⣡⣴⣾⠇
⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⠁⠙⠷⣤⡙⠻⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠁
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⣄⠁⣀⡀⠉⠙⠒⠂⠉⠍⠉⠉⠉⠉⣩⣍⣁⣂⡈⠠⠂⠁⠁
⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡉⠳⢬⣛⠷⢦⡄⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠁⠁
⠁⠁⠁⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣓⡒⠒⣒⣂⣠⡬⠽⠓⠂⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁⠁
Pepe
After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...
twitchquotes:
After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
Reynad
Am I racist? (serious)
Hello r/blacklivesmatter. I have a question.
So before I explain what happened, lemme just say this. I’m white (oppressor) and I’m very bad because I’m white. I recently was texting my friend (also oppressor) and was using some emojis to convey what I was saying. I generally use the default skin toned emojis which are a bright yellow color. One day though, my finger slipped and I accidentally used one of the darker skin toned 🖐 emoji. After realizing the horrible act of racism I’d just committed, I immediately deleted the reply as it had been rooted in racism and there’s no excuse for that. I then profusely apologized over Instagram messages to all of my accomplices, friends and acquaintances of color. A majority of them had responses that said that what happened was completely fine but I realized their opinion was probably white washed because of me (oppressor) and other white people (domestic terrorists/oppressors). So now I ask, am I racist because of this?
Tricky the Clown (Madness)
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⡤⠤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠻⢟⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠤⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⡶⠴⠞⠳⠋⢉⠽⢷⡒⢲⠇⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠁⣄⣠⣀⣄⢀⠀⠀⠈⢰⢎⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣄⠀⢀⣀⣀⡴⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⡖⠤⣈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢹⠉⠀⢧⠀⡞⢉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡋⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠈⠻⢻⠈⠀⠈⡙⠻⠛⠻⠛⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⡰⡿⠁⡤⢎⢫⠙⢿⣿
⣿⡿⡁⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠶⠴⠦⢤⣠⠀⠀⢤⣰⠧⢾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣣⡗⠲⡋⣋⠹⢾⢙⣿
⣿⢿⠁⠀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⣆⢰⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⡄⠀⢸⡀⢳⡠⠻⢄⣉⣱⠝⣿
⡏⠈⠁⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⡆⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣡⠀⠀⢳⣞⠛⢦⣤⣧⣼⣾⣿
⣧⠀⢰⡇⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⣀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⢹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣿⠀⠀⠀⢩⡿⠾⠷⠛⠉⠈⣿
⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠘⠓⠲⢶⣄⡴⠃⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠉⢩⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿
⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣿⠲⠞⠋⠀⢀⡜⠉⠁⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠽⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡘⢷⡿⢦⣤⣼⣣⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣾⠿⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠤⣀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
When Kripp plays Reno warrior...
twitchquotes:
Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
Kripp