[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Reynad Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: I'm Reynad and this is my stream. I work here with my nazi mods and my boyfriend, Jeff. Every game on this stream is bullshit RNG and pure salt. One thing I've learned after 4 years - you never know WHAT will trigger me next. 4Head
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Rick Harrison

My dream is to have one full page of KKONAS

twitchquotes: KKona MY KKona DREAM KKona IS KKona TO KKona HAVE KKona ONE KKona FULL KKona PAGE KKona OF KKona KKONAS KKona PLEASE KKona HELP KKona ME KKona ACHIEVE KKona IT KKona MY KKona DREAM KKona IS KKona TO KKona HAVE KKona ONE KKona FULL KKona PAGE KKona OF KKona KKONAS KKona PLEASE KKona HELP KKona ME KKona ACHIEVE KKona IT KKona
twitch chat
March 2016

xqcF emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⢀⡠⠤⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣯⡤⠤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣋⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠂⠀⢹⣿⣿⠙⠸⡁⠀⡆⠈⡙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡟⠸⠀⠀⠀⢠⣭⣉⡛⠻⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠆ ⢻⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠯⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⡏⡌⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⠿⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣏⠁⠀⢼⣿⠃⠀ ⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣧⣶⣿⡏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣦⣌⣹⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠈⠁⣾⠀⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀
February 2021
xQcOW

Tyler1 6 foot 5

twitchquotes: @loltyler1 hi man it was cool to meet you in Las Vegas. I had to get my drivers license update from 6 foot 1 to 7 foot 1 after meeting you because you’re 6 foot 5 and I didn’t realize I had my height so wrong. Again thanks for chatting, it was cool to meet you :)
twitch chat
December 2018
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing