Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become
twitch chat
Kripp
Spooky skeleton
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Classic
What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room
twitchquotes:
What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room, behind my wooden pc watching a guy play a card game for children, probably earning my yearly salary in a week's time. All of my ambitions are now gone. Only thing that i have left is my old pc and a memory of who i once was...
twitch chat
Hearthstone
LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference
twitchquotes:
LEC - aka βLegendary Elite Conference,β is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. Andβlook, itβs just a factβI would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now letβs discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from βYou racist creepβ or βIs that your real voice?β to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded βtoilet swirly.β However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this βOur pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-polyββno. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. Itβs that simple. Itβs been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty βFuh!β by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyderβs classic film β300,β I will kick you.
Onions, peppersβno, thank you. If I wanted veggies, Iβd go to a salad bar. Iβm not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named PβZoneβwhen I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. Iβm fucking starving.