[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

EU TEST PASSED

twitchquotes: ☑ Veganism ☑ Poverty ☑ Refugees ☑ No Guns ☑ Bad Teeth ☑ High Prices ☑ Allahu Ackbar ☐ Relevant in 2016 ☑ High Tax ☑ Low Wages ☑ No Freedom ☑ EU TEST PASSED
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

EU vs NA

These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

DWG KIA logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⠟⢻⡇⢸⡟⠻⣿⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⢻⡇⢠⣄⠈⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠁⣠⡄⣸⡟⠻⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⠿⢻⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⡄⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣧⠄⣿⠄⢿⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣧⣄⣤⣶⣿⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⣶⣤⣠⣼⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⠇⠸⠋⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠉⡿⠛⢩⣶⠈⡿⢟⣩⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣦⣄⡈⠛⠿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⢁⣠⣴⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⡀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣷⣦⣄⠈⠁⣠⣴⣾⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

I’m paying to shoot like Wardell not Whiffdell

📞Hello?📞Is this the OP Academy?📞I would like a refund please📞I’m paying to shoot like Wardell not Whiffdell📞He do miss📞
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing