[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Big eyes NaM

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣟⣻⡍⠉⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣾⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣤⣀⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⣼⣿⡟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣷⠄⠚⢧⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠿⣿⡆⠈⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⡟⠁⠄⢳⠄⠄⣤⠠⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠸⣿⡀⢀⠽⠁⢀⡿⣿⣿⡄⠹⢿⣦⣤⡾⠄⠄⠉⠄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠄⠄⠈⠃⢀⣦⣬⣁⣤⣤⣴⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⠄⠄⢠⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣤⡲⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡈⡟⠛⢛⡛⡛⠻⠦⠅⠪⠽⠬⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠙⢙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⡮⢿⡿⢿⣹⢿⡳⣱⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⠦⣬⣛⠶⠶⣶⣷⣶⡶⠠⠘⣣⢉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⢿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⢞⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣝⣻⠿⠿⣋⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

Chugga Chugga

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ CHUGGA CHUGGA! ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

Hmm Today I Will

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠛⠙⠛⢷⣤⣈⢿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠶⠚⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢀⡟⣠⣶⠖⠛⠉⢁⣠⣴⣶⢶⡄⠀⠺⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⠿⠗⢸⡆ ⣾⠀⠀⠀⣴⣞⣉⣈⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣦⠶⠛⠉⠙⢿⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⢻⠁ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣿⠀ ⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣼⠃⠀ ⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⣼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠶⣤⣿⣿⣴⣶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢸⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢹⣦⣤⠄ ⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⢻ ⠀⣸⠃⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀
August 2021

Donger

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November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing