[Copypasta] An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
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Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei

twitchquotes: After their game, Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Team Liquid / TL

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⢰⣦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠹⣿⣷⠀⠸⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⡀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣦⡀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣷⡀⢄⡈⠒⣨⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2019

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Among Us teaches us to punish minorities

Among Us (coloquially termed "amogus") teaches us to punish the minority and hate those who are different and unique as "impostors." Instead, I like the breath of fresh air this problem provides as a new perspective on deduction that is not "red is sus, red vented, etc." that has been dominating the jokes of my peers and the view of my feed. Yet, by trying to force this problem to conform to "amogus," you yourself are trying to crush originality and uniqueness. Among Us is a game ultimately convincing us to conform to menial labor as "tasks" and accept the deal of being just like the rest of the crewmates.
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Menacing

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January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing