Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin.
Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.
I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Rank one is the other way
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um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way 
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way
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imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
GME stock and WSB vs short sellers
Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles.
Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches.
Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of.
That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
WallStreetBets
Sigma male schedule
2:00 am- Wake up
2.05am-Cold shower
2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall
2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup.
2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline)
6:45am-cold shower
7:00am-begin sprint to work
8:00am-arrive at work
8:05am-get called into boss' office
8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour"
8:10am-sprint back home
9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal
9:10am-edging(as punishment)
3:00pm- bed time
For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky
twitchquotes:
For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky. He climbs up from Bronze 3 to Diamond over the course of 4 years. Finally the day comes; he gets to play with Mr Scudderi. He picks Braum goes 1/10 gets flamed. He turns to alcohol and hard drugs. Starts beating his dog. Ends it in his mother's basement.
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Sneaky
League of Legends
Copypastas reduce the human experience
twitchquotes:
Copypastas are reducing the human experience to generic responses to certain things occurring inside the game. Doesn't people feel the need to express themselves with some level of originality?
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