[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
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More Copypastas

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa

twitchquotes: I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒI ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜” down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ(I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rain ๐ŸŒง)I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜”down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ(I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rain ๐ŸŒง)I ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains โ˜” down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒI ๐Ÿ‘ bless ๐Ÿ™ the rains ๐ŸŒง down โฌ‡๏ธ in Africa ๐ŸŒ
twitch chat
September 2017

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.แ•™เป’(หต๏ฟฃแดฅ๏ฟฃหต)เฅญแ•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Look, I can play Death Standing too!

twitchquotes: Look, I can play Death Standing too!: โ–ฒ Enter Private Room > Options > Skip. โ–ฒ Take a Shower > Options > Skip > Options > Skip > Options > Skip. โ—‰ to Use Toilet (Standing) > Options > Skip. โœ– to Use Toilet (Sitting) > Options > Skip. โ–ฒ Leave Private Room > Options > Skip.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing