[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
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Running dog

โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ•ฒโ–•โ–‹โ–•โ–‹โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–†โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–•โ–”โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ–”โ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ–‚โ•ฒโ–‚โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ
November 2014

There is no "random number generator" in any games

twitchquotes: I have a REQUEST: could you please stop saying "RNG"? There is no "random number generator" in any games. It's all PSEUDO-random number generator. So therefore it should be PNG or PRNG and not RNG. I am a mathematician, this is important to me, thank you. Using incorrect terms make you lose unprofessional and amateurish and make you lose credibility
twitch chat
April 2019

Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, รฎl hrฤƒneศ™ti pentru o zi. Om รฎnvฤƒศ›at de ouฤƒ, รฎl va hrฤƒni pentru o viaศ›ฤƒ รฎntreagฤƒ." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and Iโ€™m *** retarded but I donโ€™t care, Iโ€™m beautiful. Iโ€™m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me โ€œUNKNOWNโ€ and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you canโ€™t accept me youโ€™re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing