[Copypasta] why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Plankton

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September 2021

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v4

It’s CincHOEπŸŽ‰ de mayHOE😈😘but all I want πŸ™πŸ» is cincoπŸ–οΈ5️⃣ DICKS πŸŒ―πŸ†πŸ’¦ in my May-OUTH πŸ˜©πŸ‘…πŸ’¦ Today the SEXicans πŸ˜πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ beat the French πŸ˜’πŸ‡«πŸ‡· at the Battle of Puebla πŸ”«β˜  and now you’re gonna get your piΓ±ata beat 😜😩 Time to sink this MexicanπŸ‡²πŸ‡½ dickπŸ† into that dirty😳 chihuahua pussy🐢 but❗️ONLY❗️ if you send πŸ“² this to 5️⃣ amigos πŸ‘¬ you’d cross borders ➑️ for πŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸ’― Get 5️⃣ back πŸ”™ and you’ll find the Juan for you tonight ❀️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Finland's national anthem

twitchquotes: Finland mentioned, so here is our national anthem: IsΓ€m maa karjala perkele sauna kirves vaimo 6-1 omakotitalo vene terva mΓ€ntysuopa suomempystykorva konepistooli karhu ilves susi kossu viina pontikka metsΓ€ kiitos 39-45 veteraani Mannerheim Juti rillaa Seppo RΓ€ty Mika HΓ€kkinen sydΓ€nkohtaus diabetes Trixi saatana.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Dubstep

β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘
July 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing