I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
I used to be a real ad
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The Cocklock Deck
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
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Kripp
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but Iām sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iām a girl who lives alone so I guess some ādudeā stuff hasnāt been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. Heās a dandy long leg. Heās been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said āyouāre welcomeā. Iām super confused. So I ask āfor what?ā He says āI just killed a big ass spider for youā.
I couldnāt even contain myself. I just yelled āYOU KILLED JOE?!ā And started tearing up. I didnāt tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. Heās a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeās trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iāve never heard that joke before, but itās so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereās a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canāt get over this joke. Iām giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidās Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, āI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā I will tell my children, and my childrenās children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iām fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iām gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itās gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, āI identify as an attack helicopter.ā Itāll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canāt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iām going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canāt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iām going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatās okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonāt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
Michael Santano, you are a big SELLOUT
twitchquotes:
Hello Micheal Santano,this is President Obama,just wanted to tell you,you are a big S E L L O U T,I used to raise my donger to you sir but no longer,do not copy this post or I will NSA your butt.
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imaqtpie
you only go for the easiest most OP builds
twitchquotes:
Hello, I've noticed that you only go for the easiest most OP builds, but you play them suboptimally. As a High Elo ( Plat III ) TFT player and a Certified TFT Coach, I could help you with a few of your mistakes, missplays. Hit me up, first hour is free!
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