ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ðšðšðºðžðºðžðºðžðºðžtime to hop onto that founding father dickððððŽð»ðŽð»ðŽð»ðŽð»or should i say founding DADDIES!!!ð©ð©ð©ððð
ð
ðŠðŠ out here tryna get rammed from behind ððððharder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREâïžâïžâ°ððgeorge washington mightve been able to survive the harsh âïžâïžð¬wintersð¬âïžâïž of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheetsðªðâââbe the monica Lewinsky ðð»to my bill clintonðââïž baby and i wont deny i had ððâïžsexual relationsâïžðð with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programsðžðžð€·ðŒââïžð€·ðŒââïžð€·ðŒââïžâð»send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSESðžðŒðºðžðºðžðžðŒwho will throw the nastiest neckððð©ð©ððð¬ðŠ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAYððððšâ€ïž if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonightð±ð±ðŠðŠðð©ð©ð©ð©ð©ðºðžðºðžðºðž
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GUYS PLEASE HELP! I NEED HELP!
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WHEN I SAT DOWN â¬ïž TO PEE ðŠ THERE WAS A BUG ð IN THE TOILET ðœ BUT I THOUGHT ð IT WAS DROWNED ðð» ââââ N WHEN I GOT UP â¬ïž IT WASN'T â THERE 
IM SOBBING ð IS IT IN MY FUCKING ð BUTTHOLE ðâ WHERE IS ITâïžâïžâïž
IM SOBBING ð IS IT IN MY FUCKING ð BUTTHOLE ðâ WHERE IS ITâïžâïžâïž
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ðHAPPY SPANKSGIVINGðŠ
âŒïžITSð SPANKSGIVING ð BITCHESâŒïžOn this day ð many years ago ð® the SLUTTY ð PILGRIMS ð© sailed âµïž across the ASSlantic ð HOEcean in a quest ðto find ð more ð COCKS ð to SUCK! ð
Together with the ð NAUGHTY ð NATIVES ð¹, they gathered ð« around the dinner table ðœ and had ð our nationâs very 1ïžâ£st GANG BANG! ð¯ââïžð¯ð¯ââïž We honor ðð» their ORGY ð® every year ð by giving THANKS ððŒ to all 𥰠thatâs important â€ïž to us: Family ðšâð©âð§âðŠ, Friends ð¬, Freedom ðºðž, and DICK! ððœð
So grab your BUNS, ðâððsqueeze those BREASTS, ðð¥ð€² and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ðœðœ amount of DICK ð ð© into that hungry ð® hungry HOLE! ð³ðð
Ladies ð¯ââïž, just like your ðŠ THOTSgiving ðŠ turkey, itâs time â° to throw your legs ð€žðŒââïžin the air ð€žðŒââïžand prepare to get â¡ïž STUFFED ð!
After dinner,ðŽitâs time ð® for CUMPKIN PIE!! 𥧠Show Daddy ðšðœâðŠ³ how ððŒ thankful ððŒ you are and LICKK ð his WishBONE ðŠŽ until he gets as HARD ðas PlyMOUTH rock â° and shoots ðŠ his HOMEADE GRAVY ð¥£! ð
Midnight ð starts ð BLACK â¬ïž FRIDAY ð so send ð€ this to ð THOTS ðð»ââïžyou are thankful ððŒ for! If you get 0ïžâ£ back, sail ð to England ðð»ð€® If you get 5ïžâ£ back, youâll be getting your corn ðœ CREAMED ðð¥°. Get ð back or more, and the ð BIGGEST, ð GIRTHIEST, BLACKâ«ïž FRIDAY ð COCK ð± is CUMMING ðŠYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ðððððð
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day
Happy PresiDICKâS ðððœ DAYâŒïž Time â°â° to honor the DADDIES ð¬ð¬ of our nation ðºðžðºðž George SLUTsington ð¯ð¯, Benjamin SPANKlinðð, John HanCOCK ððœðŠðŠðŠ These POUNDING ðšâ fathers ERECTED â¬ïžâ¬ïž their ð»ðCUNTstitutional dongs ððfor LADY LIBERTY ðœð
ð Raise that ASS ð to ðŠðŠ Abraham LinCUM ðŠðŠ, ð² WOODrow Wilson ðð²ð, Bill CLIT-on ðð, and the CUMmander in chief, ðŠððBarCOCK Obama ðŠðð Donât forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ðð© DICKlared war ð«ð£ on those CUMMIES ðŠðð Share in âïž SUCKonds or you wonât be pounding ðšthat presidential PUSSY ðð Get 5ïžâ£ back and ur a White House HOE ð Get ð back and ur the SUCKretary of state ðððºðž Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan ð©ð©ðŠðŠðŠðŠðŠ HAPPY JIZZIDENTâS DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS ððð
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joe biden said he was the impostor
I ð met joe biden at ðžðŠ 3 ðð am ð he said ð¬ð he was the ðð€ impostor guys â should ðð« i ð believe ð» him ðšð© im ðŒ soo scared â i dont ð¡ know ð€â what to ðð¶ do ð help ð me ð out. 
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Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss
In Japan ð¯ðµ , heart surgeon â€ïžðšââïž . Number one ðâïž . Steady handð³âïž. One day, Yakuza boss ðð»need ð heartð. I do operationðªâïž. But, mistakeð±! Yakuza boss dieðµðª! Yakuza very madð¿. I hideð in fishing boatðð£ð»ââïž, come to Americaðððºðž. No englishð€, no foodð©, no moneyðð«ð². Darryl ðšð¿give me jobððšð»âðŒ. Now I have houseð¡, American car ð , and new woman ðð±ð»ââïž. Darryl ðšð¿save lifeâ. My big secretð: I kill â ïžyakuza boss on purposeð. I good ðsurgeon. The bestðð¯!