Well you see, the question of "who asked?" is simply a paradox. Because by asking "who asked?", you are implying that people need to be asked before speaking. But following that logic, you would have needed to have someone grant you permission to say that, because who asked you to say "who asked?"? Exactly, nobody did, and nobody can ask anyone to give them permission to give you permission because no one asked them. And this perpetual loop never ends, creating a paradox. So by you saying "who asked?", you admit that you are a stupid fucking retard, and I fucked your mom bitch.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ban one bee, get the swarm
twitchquotes:
ban one bee and you'll get the swarm
ban one bee and you'll get the swarm
twitch chat
MODS
Ban X Get The Whole Y
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
âYouâre awake!â She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
âWhere am I?â You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
âYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to itâs extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.â
âHow?â You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
âYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.â
âWill I not die?â
âYou canât die. You are immortal. You donât even have a body and yet you continue to existâ
âŚ
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You donât even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
I donât know what Overwatch is
twitchquotes:
I donât know what Overwatch is. Thereâs a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I donât know. And then sometimes if that wasnât bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when Iâm getting a handle on what âJunkrat kin discourseâ is yall show up with âThis is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniperâ and then SHEâS part of the Overwatchers. âThis is Swedish Beefcakeâ could yall? not?? I still donât know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
Overwatch
TURN CHAT INTO WEEB MODE
twitchquotes:
TURN CHAT TO WEEB MODE
TURN CHAT TO WEEB MODE
twitch chat
Weebs
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.