twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｗｅｌｌ ｍｅｔ， ｍｙ ｅｙｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐａｌａｄｉｎ． ｉ ｄｉｖｉｎｅ ｓｈｉｅｌｄ ｍｙ ｄｉｃｋ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｒｅｃｒｕｉ ｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｇｅｔ ｄｏｗｎ．
twitch chat
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas
Kripp saved my marriage
twitchquotes:
I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Trump gave Katie Kripp's MITHRIL ARMOR
twitchquotes:
Hello "Kripp" ...or should I say COCKTAVIAN. Guess who? YEAH. It's KATIE. From HIGH SCHOOL. Ever since you left me to play this stupid game, me and Trump have decided to continue playing Runescape WITHOUT YOU. And guess what? He gave me your MITHRIL ARMOR. Have fun playing this stupid card game, JERK!.
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat
twitchquotes:
Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Flame imp is a bad card
twitchquotes:
Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
Kripp
Genuine Kripp Smile
twitchquotes:
Look at him, look at that smile. That's a genuine Kripp Smile™ there if I ever saw one. Now chat, if you pay close attention you'll realize that these rare, genuine demonstrations of happiness only actually happen when Kripp is playing Hearthstone. Not Artifact, not Magic, not anything else. Hearthstone is where Kripp's heart really is at. We just have to understand and support that, no matter what.
twitch chat
Kripp