[Copypasta] U bluudi wonka

I, U bluudi wonka, feck'n bos droiva don' went en doid on ya m8, musta bin a reyl sed day 4 ya mum m8, ah bluudi eal, E wuuda smocked u roight en the gabber so ya C staars 4 doin wot ya bin doin, pal.neavamnd, feck u m8, get shrektd
November 2014
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Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble in Japanese

twitchquotes: 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 下口尺 丅尺口凵乃乚乇! 卂𠘨刀 从卂长乇 工丅 刀口凵乃乚乇! 丅口 尸尺口丅乇匚丅 丅卄乇 山口尺乚刀 下尺口从 刀乇リ卂丂丅卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 凵𠘨工丅乇 卂乚乚 尸乇口尸乚乇丂 山工丅卄工𠘨 口凵尺 𠘨卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 刀乇𠘨口凵𠘨匚乇 丅卄乇 乇リ工乚丂 口下 丅尺凵丅卄 卂𠘨刀 乚口リ乇! 丅口 乇乂丅乇𠘨刀 口凵尺 尺乇卂匚卄 丅口 丅卄乇 丂丅卂尺丂 卂乃口リ乇! 丁乇丂丂工乇! 丁卂从乇丂! 丅乇卂从 尺口匚长乇丅 乃乚卂丂丅丂 口下下 卂丅 丅卄乇 丂尸乇乇刀 口下 乚工厶卄丅! 丂凵尺尺乇𠘨刀乇尺 𠘨口山, 口尺 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 丅口 下工厶卄丅! 从乇口山丅卄! 丅卄卂丅'丂 尺工厶卄丅!
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Heaven is the highest you can get

It's 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ today 😳😱but I'm not smoking weed 🌿🍁😴😏🚬 I'm smoking 💨😜 the Bible 😇😋🙏📕 because heaven ⬆️😍👐😂 is the highest you can get 🙌😤
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Pick up the sock

twitchquotes: PICK UP THE SOCK OR THE DOG GETS IT (⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ FrankerZ
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Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
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