I, U bluudi wonka, feck'n bos droiva don' went en doid on ya m8, musta bin a reyl sed day 4 ya mum m8, ah bluudi eal, E wuuda smocked u roight en the gabber so ya C staars 4 doin wot ya bin doin, pal.neavamnd, feck u m8, get shrektd
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life IncorporatedĀ©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp
McDonald's BTS Meal
So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster.
Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created.
I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army".
bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
Here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding
twitchquotes:
( Ā° ĶŹĶ”Ā°) 
Hey Kripp, here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding ( Ā° ĶŹĶ”Ā°)āā©ā® go *** yourself 
Hey Kripp, here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding ( Ā° ĶŹĶ”Ā°)āā©ā® go *** yourself
twitch chat
Kripp
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'āĻ3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
Wow! I love Verizonā¢!
twitchquotes:
Wow! I love Verizonā¢! Iām glad that the internet is so free! Isnāt it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! Itās really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed Iām sure they wonāt abuse it! Thank you Verizonā¢! I love Verizonā¢! Donāt you love Verizonā¢?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonā¢! Canāt you see theyāre protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Donāt you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonā¢! Thank you Verizonā¢! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying āthis is whatās best for a free and open internetā and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
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