Hearthstone copypastas

Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.

(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

My beautiful Hafu turns to me in bed and kisses me. Her cute smile fills me with happiness. Hafu holds me close as she whispers in my ear: "You know this isn't real. You're just typing in twitch chat. You're alone." "10/10 body." I miss lethal.

☑ “This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” ☑ “My deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” ☑ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" ☑ “He extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” ☑ "His cards defied logic" ☑ “There was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” ☑ “I played impeccably”

Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.

Every morning, I wake up only to watch Kripp play Hearthstone arena. I decide to subscribe to Kripp, join the '5-dollar club', to be part of Kripp himself. 'Welcome', Kripp exclaims, 'to the 5-dollar club!'. He gives the stream a brofist. I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream. A silent tear of joy escapes my eye.

ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ﾉ ☑ “This guy's deck is well chosen!” ☑ "He had the skill and the heart of the cards!" ☑ “He drew into one of many possible cards that could beat me!” ☑ "He drafted well, played well!" ☑ “I gave the game my best, and that's all that matters!” ☑ “If I'm lucky, we can have another game soon!” ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ﾉ

Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.

☑ “This AI's hero power is CRAZY!” ☑ “My deck can't win against a hero power like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those 4/4s to win" ☑ “He hero powered the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect hero power" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly"

Kripp, Trump, Kolento, and Hafu. The 4 streamers lived in harmony then everything changed when the Trump nation attacked. Only, Kripp master of all the OJ, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he bmed.

★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★　° :.　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.in a parallel universe* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ ..Reynad...° ☾　★ °● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 * Isn't salty ☾　★ °● ¸ .　　　★　°

This guy's deck is CRAZY!” ☑ “My deck can't win against a deck like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two cards to win" ☑ “He topdecked the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect cards" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly”

The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.

ᕼEᒪᒪO TᗯITᑕᕼ ᑕᕼᗩT, ᗪOᑎ ᑭEᑭᑭEᖇOᑎI ᕼEᖇE, ᑕᗩᑭTᗩIᑎ Oᖴ TᕼE ᗩᑎTI-ᖇIOT ᑭOᒪIᑕE. ᔕTOᑭ ᖇIOTIᑎG ᖇIGᕼT ᑎOᗯ, Oᖇ YOᑌ ᗯIᒪᒪ ᗷE TOᑭᗪEᑕKEᗪ. YOᑌ ᕼᗩᐯE ᗷEEᑎ ᗯᗩᖇᑎEᗪ. ᑎO ᑭᑌEᖇTO ᖇIᑕO ᑭᗩᔕTEᖇIᑎO ᗪE ᑎIᖇO TᗩᖇEᑎTIᑎO

Gᴜᴛᴇɴ Tᴀɢ, Hᴇʀʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ! Mᴇɪɴ Nᴀᴍᴇ ɪsᴛ Pᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏɴ Pᴀsᴛᴇɴʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Hᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ Dᴇᴜᴛsᴄʜʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ Wᴀɢɴᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ Tᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Rᴀɴɪᴀ ɪs Vᴀʟᴋʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀs Pᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ. Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴘᴏᴜʀs Oʀᴀɴɢᴇɴsᴀғᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ sᴋʏ ᴀs ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢʜᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Pʟᴢ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏɢᴇɴ ᴅᴀᴀɢᴇɴ.

ＨＥＬＬＯ ＡＭ ４８ ＹＥＡＲ ＭＡＮ ＦＲＯＭ ＳＯＭＡＬＩＡ． ＳＯＲＲＹ ＦＯＲ ＢＡＤ ＥＮＧＬＡＮＤ． Ｉ ＳＥＬＬＥＤ ＭＹ ＷＩＦＥ ＦＯＲ ＩＮＴＥＲＮＥＴ ＣＯＮＮＥＣＴＩＯＮ ＦＯＲ ＰＬＡＹ ＂ｈｅａｒｔｈ ｓｔｏｎｅ＂ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＷＡＮＴ ＴＯ ＢＥＣＯＭＥ ＴＨＥ ＧＯＯＤＥＳＴ ＰＬＡＹＥＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ Ｉ ＰＬＡＹ ＷＩＴＨ ４００ ＰＩＮＧ ＯＮ ＢＲＡＺＩＬ ＳＥＲＶＥＲ ＡＮＤ Ｉ ＡＭ ＲＡＮＫ ２３ ＡＬＲＥＡＤＹ ＰＬＳ ＮＯ ＣＯＰＹ ＰＡＳＴＥ ＭＹ ＳＴＯＲＹ

Hi Kripparrian. For 2 weeks I was stuck in Hearthstone. I nearly gave up on it, however, after watching your stream and learning so much, I decided to buy 40 packs and make a new deck. Lo and behold after my 7th game I finally defeated the first boss Honker. Thank you Kripparrian.

Dearest Kripparian, Jarnitro here. I am so confudido about how i lost that game. Please use your masterino of top deckarino to teach me how to win this game. I will be your fettucinni pepperoni boy forever.