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I hate Twitch Chat
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Rhyme Chant
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Chat Test
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990 copypastas found.

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: Iā€™m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itā€™s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear ā€œweā€™re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasā€ while having sex my brain is ā€œyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatā€™s a shit load of jalapeƱos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heā€™s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upā€
twitch chat
May 2019

Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investorā€™s head. Thereā€™s also Sitoshisā€™s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnā€™t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshiā€™s brilliant programming method - the ā€œBlockchain,ā€ which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. Iā€™m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. šŸ˜‚ And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Itā€™s for the ladiesā€™ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyā€™re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid šŸ˜Ž
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle

twitchquotes: Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle. Long ago, the four mispronounced unit names lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Twitch Chat Nation attacked. Only the DogDog, master of all pepega names , could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
August 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

I'm a 13 year old atheist

twitchquotes: I'm a 13 year old atheist and it's funny seeing the 'minds' in twitch chat entertained by a children's videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots "Pog Champ" or "OMEGA LUL", I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
twitch chat
April 2018

When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad

twitchquotes: When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad.
twitch chat
November 2018

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before heā€™s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018

Kripp's old channel description

twitchquotes: Did you know Kripp and Krippi are the first to kill Diablo with Hardcore characters on Inferno? Kripparrianā€™s channel features end game coverage of Hearthstone, Diablo, Warcraft, Guild Wars 2, and other games. All played at the most hardcore and competitive levels possible, live every day!
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Nairo Meta Whore

twitchquotes: NairoMK? more like Nairo Meta Whore (whore with a silent K). all you do is play the most broken characters because they are "meta" what the crap even is the meta. i miss when you used to be loyal to your characters like Zero. Zero is a HARDCORE final fantasy fan and played cloud in tournament despite the nerfs to his favorite character. enjoy your cheap wins until the next patch hits and nerfs your busted characters. us character loyalists will gladly take your top seed. Lucas main BTW.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022

The true glory of Moonmoon's improvised story-telling

twitchquotes: Wow. Just wow. After witnessing the true glory of improvised story-telling as presented by MOONMOON_OW, my life has changed to such a degree that I am no longer able to sleep soundly, knowing that there are people out there who are still trying to do just as good. It is no surprise; the god gamer, also a god roleplayer, is truly astounding with his ability. - Barrack Obama
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON

Cyberpunk character creator is broken

This game is so buggy that even the character creator is broken I heard that the game had some bugs but I wasnā€™t expecting them to hurt my experience so quickly. I was making my character and I got to the genitals option and gave my character a penis. I scrolled through the size option and noticed a game breaking bug. The labels are wrong for the penises. I gave my character what was labeled as ā€œsmall penisā€ and was surprised to find that it was way bigger than my real penis. This is a serious game breaking bug and CD Project Red needs to make fixing this issue itā€™s number one priority.
December 2020

Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine

Please stop spamming random copy pastas like some machine, it's ruining my Twitch chat experience. Don't conform to standard like everyone else, think for yourselves!
July 2021

Anything to get inside Kripp

twitchquotes: I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Kripp. That perfect, scrawny body. That shining forehead. The receding hairline of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that Iā€™ll never mate with him, pass my genes through him, and have nothing happen because he's a man. Iā€™d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get inside Kripp. A N Y T H I N G.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

Surf, Psychic, Thunder, Blizzard

twitchquotes: Surf, Psychic, Thunder, Blizzard. There was a time when all 4 moves were used to achieve teh urn. But all that changed when the e4 attacked. Only the avatar, master of all 4 moves could stop them. But when the chat needed him most, he missed! 26 e4 attempts later and we keep losing. Some believe that pc will ruin the team. But I haven't lost hope, I still believe Starmie can save teh urn.
twitch chat
May 2019
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Chat analyses Kripp's painting

twitchquotes: I honestly can't believe the idiocy of this chat sometimes. The green obviously represents Kripp's veganism, which is contrasted by the red below it, symbolizing animals and meat. The orange in the middle is a masterful representation of Kripp's balding spot, and the black strokes surrounding it are his attempts to hide it.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing