Search Copypastas

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......

FUCK YOU. I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. GET FUCKING ORIGINAL. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. Just because you don't agree with me DOES NOT HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH PARTIES. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I'll stick to my wine and cheese dinners, you know, REAL FUCKING PARTIES. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. WELL I'M FUCKING tired. of it. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. I will go STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING TOP and then I'll be the one laughing while you beg for my mercy. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties." So yeah, If you must know, I am pretty fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick.

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.