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Tuck Frump into bed

twitchquotes: I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

This is Trump News reporting

twitchquotes: This is Trump News reporting. A new craze is sweeping Greece where submissives, known as 'Subs' are being brutally brofisted for only 5 dollars! The man responsible for this is currently in hiding under a pile of pizza boxes.
twitch chat
May 2015
Trump
What happened to this ad? :(

Kripp's sonnerino from the future

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏɴɴᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Gʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ's ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴀ ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʟᴇɢᴀʟ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɪᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴ ɪɴғᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴘʜᴇʀᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ. Pᴀᴘᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ! Pʟs ɴᴏ ғᴇᴛᴛᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴀʟғᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Let Papparrian have his son back!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Papparian here. You have been doing this game thing for awhile now. And its going to lose its entertainmentarino. My idea is a Papparian Kripparian father son baking show. We cook food from our home world where we Gypsies originally came from. How about it son? Let Papparian have his son back!....
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, I ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ. Mʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ "ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. Iғ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪғᴇ, I'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs. Tʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ, ᴀssʜᴏʟᴇ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Will this affect my Wayne

twitchquotes: Hello, Reynad I have been the butler of a very prestigious family for a very long time. Couple I work for has just recently been shot and killed, I have been left to take care of him but, he has resort to a life of crime fighting which is very dangerous. Will this affect my Wayne.
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino

twitchquotes: Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
I used to be a real ad

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021

Pimp had to discipline his whores

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つReynad, I am a pimp and recently I had to discipline my whores, how will this affect my canes༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

What happened to this ad? :(

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Zeus hates Kripp's casualness

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Zᴇᴜs, Gᴏᴅ ᴏғ Oʟʏᴍᴘᴜs. I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴍʏ sᴇʀᴠᴀɴᴛs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪsɢʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʜᴏʟʏ ʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ two ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴅᴀʏs ᴛᴏ sᴜᴍᴍᴏɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴛs ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ I'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴɴɪʜɪʟᴀᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ +25% ᴅᴍɢ ᴛᴏ ʟɪɢʜᴛɴɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (╭ರ_•́)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (╭ರ_•́)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering “count every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

I used to be a real ad

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing