So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.”
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
If PLTR hits 35 today
If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
WallStreetBets
Ape rocket
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🐵🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎 💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
WallStreetBets
Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon
Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon.
✨
.-' `'.
✨ / \ . ☀️ ☀️
| ;
✨ | | ___.--,
_.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. ✨
__.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""`
( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __
_`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . ☀️
`---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.'
| | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` ✨
\ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) ✨
✨ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-.
jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\
, _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . ☀️
`--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | (
(/` ( (` ) ) '-;
` '-; (-' ✨ ✨
✨
☀️
🚀 <--- BULLS ✨ ☀️
✨
🌙
☀️ ☀️
☀️
✨ 🌎
✨ 🌝
☀️
✨ ✨
WallStreetBets
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you.
It’s an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex