[Copypasta] Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lil’ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.”
February 2022

WallStreetBets

A parody of this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/shrexz/anyone_basing_trades_on_technical_analysis_right/
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

I am going to short the whole country of South Africa

I assure you, this ISN'T going to get political. Because by all accounts South Africa is screwed. My planned position is bottom paragraph. Under the current ANC government there has been a general degeneration of all aspects of South Africa. Due to systemic nepotism, there are math teachers that don't know what square roots are, army officers that can't read, and cops that have never fired a gun. The practice of fictitious employees that take checks but don't work there is widespread enough that the government has drove itself into insolvency already. Estimates are that some 80% of government funds are misused in some way, ranging from government subsidies given to businesses owned by government officials to simply going missing from accounts. The ANC solved this, against advise of wiser people, with quantitative easing. Which is a fancy term for printing money, and since they could never possibly reverse that printer they're inflating the South African Rand which is why they've had two bouts of inflation near 9% twice in the past 20 years. That is all besides how the largely defunct government doesn't prevent anything on the ground. Roaming bands of pirates (many affiliates of the Marxist Economic Freedom Fighter party) will poison guard dogs and torture and murder residents often for as little as car keys and groceries. Many communities are functionally independent and take the law in their own hands, and in many areas utilities are defunct (untreated sewage goes in the river, untreated tap water comes out and it smells as disgusting as it sounds). South Africans are more likely to have their asylum applications accepted than any other nation as there are so many tales of rape and murder and threats of ethnic cleansing. This equates to the most educated citizens leaving SA and most SA based businesses diversifying out of the country as literacy rates have been falling. These disillusioned departures are not new, as they include the most famous Afrikaner in history Elon Musk who is now a naturalized American. Edit: The Economic Freedom Fighter's usual acronym isn't used because it's also the ticker for a penny stock. I first thought about shorting South Africa over a year ago when I was researching the country (I'm a historian, I read much on the country for fun). I found the only index tracking SA (EZA) wasn't an accurate representation of SA economy and buying puts on it was useless. It tracked only the largest cap firms, which are the aforementioned companies diversifying out of SA (mostly to other parts of Africa). Which is why it's a volatile ETF that overall trades sideways. Buying puts on it wouldn't really capitalize on SA going full Rhodesia/Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe having experienced the general breakup of modern institutions and hyperinflation due to similar problems. My new broker, IBKR, allows negative currency positions as long you post 10% as collateral. Now my native currency are US dollars, where inflation in 2020 was 1.4% while the South African Rand's inflation was 4.12% in 2020. That equals a 26.8% return on investment per year from that simple short position. But I'm expecting US Dollar inflation to stay between 1-2% a year while the Rand (ticker ZAR) stays north of 4% with inflation spikes inevitable over the next decade. This position also reduces my market beta, much needed for me as I've got hugely leveraged positions on American ETFs. This isn't a short term swing trade, I'm waiting for SA to implode.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. πŸ‘–πŸš€πŸ‘–πŸš€πŸ‘–πŸš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

No name calling

I just had a conversation w a πŸ‚ that didnt resort to name calling... We just spoke our peace and wished ourselves good luck and now i dint know what to do with myself. I think im going to go back and call him a bitch.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Man i love bull markets

Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing