I used to be a real ad
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Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ. Cᴏᴀᴄʜ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Iғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ғɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜs ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ's ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʟᴀʏ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ 100% ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sʟɪᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ғɪᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Rᴀɪɴᴀɴᴀ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ sᴛᴇᴀʟᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Cybrix and the Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ　Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　Ｈｅａｄ　Ｃｈｅｆ　ｏｆ　Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｄａｙｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｏｆ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　ｔｙｐｅ　（ＸＸＬ　ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｃｒｕｓｔ）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ！
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

RIP the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i remember when seeing The Female Barbarian's Face in my Twitch TV Followers List made me happy inside to see the Kripparrian streaming, and see him farm endless hours of D3 or PoE, but now I just think of that succubus girlfriends he has and all the dogs barking and NAZIS shouting, RIP The Kripparrian ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (╭ರ_•́)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (╭ರ_•́)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad
What happened to this ad? :(

My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!

twitchquotes: Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!!! Someone just told me you didnt say Thank you... You will change your manners!!! REMEMBER i brought you into this world i can take you out of it!!!
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Tuck me

twitchquotes: ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　 　　 　　tuck me 　　　 　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　 　　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Brofist straight in your pepperonis

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, I ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ. Mʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ "ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴜᴘ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. Iғ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʟɪғᴇ, I'ʟʟ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʙʀᴏғɪsᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs. Tʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ, ᴀssʜᴏʟᴇ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Ingesting too much salt can cause casualness

twitchquotes: Studies show that ingesting too much salt can kill healthy bacteria in your digestive track, this can cause side-effects ranging from a weak immune system, acid reflex, and being a casual...
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Dog food lid

twitchquotes: Hello everyone! I'm entering streams to say something random! Did you know "dog food lid" backwards is "dildo of god"? Good bye everyone!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Yo imaqtpie u think your cool?

twitchquotes: Yo imaqtpie u think your cool? with your fcking long hair. well guess what you piece of shit. YOUR NOT! i guess i can beat u in 1v1. im bronze 3 but its only because my team is not good
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher

twitchquotes: Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher. I am very disappoint in your German speaking abilities. I request that you repeat zu words: Blauschimmelkäse, Kachelofen, Ziegeneutermilch and Schachspielzug three times a day for the next month.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Pedo bear: come into my house

twitchquotes: __̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__come into my house ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021
I used to be a real ad

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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