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Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

DONGER DIPLOMACY

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

chat I took an iq test yesterday

twitchquotes: chat I took an iq test yesterday and it turns out I'm a certified genius. don't let this affect your opinion of me. I'm one of you.. maybe just a little bit better and smarter and hotter. I'm still Pepega at heart, albeit 5Head in brain.
twitch chat
April 2021
I used to be a real ad

I'm going all in boys!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ IM GOING ALL IN B O Y S! ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Too salty for table salt

twitchquotes: Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

I'm not gonna read that

twitchquotes: I'm not gonna read that. Fuck you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
What happened to this ad? :(

My power is unBEARable

twitchquotes: ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้ MY POWER IS UNBEARABLE ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ ก้
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Be the better man and stop the spam

twitchquotes: I don't understand all these spammer hooligans. Its as if the pinnacle of human innovation has resulted in the creation of these inbred spammers with nothing better to do in their life other than copy and paste what the person above them wrote. Whats worse is the people using scripts to spam. Be the better man and stop the spam. Thanks.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught

twitchquotes: Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught today at Dulles Airport trying to fly to Moscow. He was found carrying top secret American Hearthstone decks built by Reynad. He planned on passing them to Russian KGB agent, Kolento Pistolev. As he was arrested Tides shouted, "Death to America!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Kripp stop showing your knee on stream

twitchquotes: Kripp stop showing your knee on the stream, dont be like other female streamers. We are interested in your personality and not body.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(

Why can't I mill this zoo?

twitchquotes: 乁། ˵ ◕ – ◕ ˵ །ㄏ WHY CANT I MILL THIS ZOO? 乁། ˵ ◕ – ◕ ˵ །ㄏ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Getting meme'd

twitchquotes: Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

redz

twitchquotes: i will rub ur back and if i like the tip tat u sending...i might just give u a happy ending Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

Please play AD Sion

twitchquotes: ᴍɪsᴛᴇʀ sᴀɴᴛᴀɴᴀ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀᴅʙʟᴏᴄᴋ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴠᴏʟᴜɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀɪʙᴜᴛɪᴏɴs ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀᴅ sɪᴏɴ. ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴇᴛ's sᴇᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ sʜɪᴛ ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴏɴ.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

It's not TOP totem, it's BOTTOM totem

twitchquotes: Kripp... In the cultures that use a totempole it's the ones on the bottom that have the most respect and are generally elders/seers. The top of the pole are the scrublords that barely deserve the recognition. So top totem is INCORRECT. It's BOTTOM totem.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing