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Do you know who else didn't pet cats?

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, do you know who else didn't pet cats? Hitler. Hitler didn't pet cats. Do you want to be a Nazi too?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ﾉ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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Kripp gets married in a shack

twitchquotes: Rania: "why are you playing Diablo 3, Kripp? How can we afford Big Fat Greek Wedding with 5k Diablo viewers?" But the Kripp doesn't listen. He plays Diablo 3 and loses all his viewers and gets married in a shack.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Kniferino to cut off your dongerino

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʜᴀғᴜ! ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴇsɢɴ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴜᴇss ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ? ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏғғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ! ɪғ ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴀ sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ! ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ. ᴘʟᴢ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering “count every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

I used to be a real ad

Urgot demands playtime!

twitchquotes: Dear Mr Rodriguez Qtpie. This is Urgot, the best ranged champion since Thresh ADC. I must confess that I find your consistant playing of other ADCs whilst neglecting me racist. Urgot demands playtime!! Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

2 games 1 stream

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Twitch Staff. We have noticed that you are trying to become a hardcore player again, since you broke the laws of physics and play 2 games on 1 stream, when the laws of physics clearly says: "How can there be 2 games, when only 1 channel?". We hope that you will stop this, and become a casual player again. Please don't repost this. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (╭ರ_•́)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (╭ರ_•́)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

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Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hey Reynad, I am from Trump's stream

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am from Trump's stream. To make me feel more comfortable could you please turn off your music, shift around uncomfortably, and have prolonged moments of silence? Thankerino
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

I am Admiral Akbar, commander of the Somalian Piraterinos

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

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