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Pimp had to discipline his whores

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つReynad, I am a pimp and recently I had to discipline my whores, how will this affect my canes༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (╭ರ_•́)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (╭ರ_•́)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

My eyes are open

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ MY EYES, ARE OPEN ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!

twitchquotes: Michael Santana It's your Mom Here!!! Someone just told me you didnt say Thank you... You will change your manners!!! REMEMBER i brought you into this world i can take you out of it!!!
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Based

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
March 2021

Dog food lid

twitchquotes: Hello everyone! I'm entering streams to say something random! Did you know "dog food lid" backwards is "dildo of god"? Good bye everyone!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Yo imaqtpie u think your cool?

twitchquotes: Yo imaqtpie u think your cool? with your fcking long hair. well guess what you piece of shit. YOUR NOT! i guess i can beat u in 1v1. im bronze 3 but its only because my team is not good
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher

twitchquotes: Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher. I am very disappoint in your German speaking abilities. I request that you repeat zu words: Blauschimmelkäse, Kachelofen, Ziegeneutermilch and Schachspielzug three times a day for the next month.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Deserverinos my Bestest Doritorinos

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʀᴏʟʟᴀɴᴅ sᴍɪᴛʜ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. ɪ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴀɴ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴍʏ ʙᴇsᴛᴇsᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏs, ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛs ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴍʏ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴏʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏʙʟɪɢᴀᴛᴏʀʏ ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing