fine. you win. im a whore. i like sex. i like dick. i like vagina. i like anus. i like tiddies. i fuck almost every adult i come into contact with. oooo look at me im a fucking slut!!!! are you happy, huh? are you satisfied? yeah, that's right, im a fucking manwhore! ill fuck you AND your wife!!how do you like that, huh? how do you like that? hey everyone look, i'm a bitchy bimbo doll who's only personality trait is being a fucking slut!!!! HOWS THAT
Submitted by:cheesycheddar
fine. you win. im a whore.
fine. you win. im a whore. i like sex. i like dick. i like vagina. i like anus. i like tiddies. i fuck almost every adult i come into contact with. oooo look at me im a fucking slut!!!! are you happy, huh? are you satisfied? yeah, that's right, im a fucking manwhore! ill fuck you AND your wife!!how do you like that, huh? how do you like that? hey everyone look, i'm a bitchy bimbo doll who's only personality trait is being a fucking slut!!!! HOWS THAT
hey guys. Today I'm gonna show you the life of a stay-at-home billionaire's wife. First I wake up at 3:00 am because those 600 chores Dave gave me don't do themselves! Then I immediately get started on the laundry. I think Dave is starting to get really creative with giving me things, because I found diamond necklaces and hair ties in his pockets. He's so cute like that! Then I do some other chores, which include dishes, cleaning, more laundry because he wears a ton of clothes, and making lunch! Last time I handmade his lunch, Dave told me it was terrible, so now I just order food. Most of the day after that is spent walking around the house wondering if marrying a rich guy's son was really the only way to pay off my student loans. Then about once a week Dave calls me to tell me he has to go on another business trip. He gets so many of those, doesn't he? Anyway, that's about what it's like to be married to a fucking bit- I mean, a perfectly reliable husband. Ha ha.
Submitted by:cheesycheddar
hey guys. today I'm gonna show you the life of a stay-at-home billionaire's wife.
hey guys. Today I'm gonna show you the life of a stay-at-home billionaire's wife. First I wake up at 3:00 am because those 600 chores Dave gave me don't do themselves! Then I immediately get started on the laundry. I think Dave is starting to get really creative with giving me things, because I found diamond necklaces and hair ties in his pockets. He's so cute like that! Then I do some other chores, which include dishes, cleaning, more laundry because he wears a ton of clothes, and making lunch! Last time I handmade his lunch, Dave told me it was terrible, so now I just order food. Most of the day after that is spent walking around the house wondering if marrying a rich guy's son was really the only way to pay off my student loans. Then about once a week Dave calls me to tell me he has to go on another business trip. He gets so many of those, doesn't he? Anyway, that's about what it's like to be married to a fucking bit- I mean, a perfectly reliable husband. Ha ha.
Saint uwu say it’s nowt bwoken but have uwu considewed thawt uwu pway thiws gawme 8 houws pew day 5 days a week? if uwu pway thiws gawme thiws much you’we obviouswy good at the gawme, miwes bettew then these twash co-op pwayews, so why iws iwt thawt uwu stiww wose despite being the objectivewy bettew pwayew? it’s compwete pwoof thawt thiws gawme iws gawbage awnd thawt iwt wouwd need a massive wewowk tuwu actuawwy be pwayabwe again.
Submitted by:saintriot
legendary quote said by none other than bob4075
Saint uwu say it’s nowt bwoken but have uwu considewed thawt uwu pway thiws gawme 8 houws pew day 5 days a week? if uwu pway thiws gawme thiws much you’we obviouswy good at the gawme, miwes bettew then these twash co-op pwayews, so why iws iwt thawt uwu stiww wose despite being the objectivewy bettew pwayew? it’s compwete pwoof thawt thiws gawme iws gawbage awnd thawt iwt wouwd need a massive wewowk tuwu actuawwy be pwayabwe again.
aint uwu say it’s nowt bwoken but have uwu considewed thawt uwu pway thiws gawme 8 houws pew day 5 days a week? if uwu pway thiws gawme thiws much you’we obviouswy good at the gawme, miwes bettew then these twash co-op pwayews, so why iws iwt thawt uwu stiww wose despite being the objectivewy bettew pwayew? it’s compwete pwoof thawt thiws gawme iws gawbage awnd thawt iwt wouwd need a massive wewowk tuwu actuawwy be pwayabwe again.
Submitted by:anonymous
aint uwu say it’s nowt bwoken but have uwu considewed thawt uwu pway thiws gawme 8 houws pew day 5 days a week? if uwu pway thiws gawme thiws much you’we obviouswy good at the gawme, miwes bettew then these twash co-op pwayews, so why iws iwt thawt uwu stiww wose despite being the objectivewy bettew pwayew? it’s compwete pwoof thawt thiws gawme iws gawbage awnd thawt iwt wouwd need a massive wewowk tuwu actuawwy be pwayabwe again.
Holy fucking shit. I want to fuck the pillsbury doughboy so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time see pillsbury ads I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with the pillsbury doughboy . I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of the doughboys tight asshole. I want her to have my mutant human/dough babies. My fucking mom caught me and I'm worried she's gonna take away my phone I might not ever get to see the pillsbury doughboy again.
Submitted by:Coolguy1376
I need to fuck the pillsbury doughboy
Holy fucking shit. I want to fuck the pillsbury doughboy so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time see pillsbury ads I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with the pillsbury doughboy . I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of the doughboys tight asshole. I want her to have my mutant human/dough babies. My fucking mom caught me and I'm worried she's gonna take away my phone I might not ever get to see the pillsbury doughboy again.
the ♻️ cycle: > move to Miami > stream gta vice city > EZ
Submitted by:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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the ♻️ cycle: > move to Miami > stream gta vice city > EZ
but today
i wish i had tried that because at least
then i would be able to eat some rice
then beans then be all like hey beans
i'll be right back just going over here
to the guacamole for a second
nope
my experience was more like hey beans
it's just going to be you and i for a
few minutes until i can excavate
the rice from beneath you but by then
you will be a fading memory oh hey i was
wrong i'm in the cheesus sphere
now rice must be next i hope it's not
another salsa pocket
you
built this thing
like a pack
of life savers
and don't even think i'm about
to open this up and re-engineer
your nonsense 90 degrees i already put a
hole in it with my mouth yeah
that's how i discovered you suck
at looking at things i am not going to
do tortilla origami to get this
back together only to end up with a
burrito that's been shot in the gut and
is bleeding your ineptitude
what's that
i should ask you to
mix it up first next time
is this jamba juice
i don't want to drink my burrito
through a bendy straw and i don't want a
pile of burrito soup in a flour can i just want a burrito in conclusion you're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burrito abomination and i hope your babies look like monkeys update for everyone who said just eat it with a fork a fork i didn't order the cobarito salad if anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork they would be wearing a brand new burrito hat from my fall collection 10 seconds later that's like buying a car and having them hand you a wrench with the keys like yeah we know this is going to explode and be spread across eight lanes as soon as you hit the gas but we gave you a wrench so be cool jesus already gave me two burrito forks one at the end of each arm they're called hands a fork my god i haven't cried since i was six but i'm sobbing now people eat burritos with forks god is sorry he made us
Submitted by:anonymous
A rant about burritos
but today
i wish i had tried that because at least
then i would be able to eat some rice
then beans then be all like hey beans
i'll be right back just going over here
to the guacamole for a second
nope
my experience was more like hey beans
it's just going to be you and i for a
few minutes until i can excavate
the rice from beneath you but by then
you will be a fading memory oh hey i was
wrong i'm in the cheesus sphere
now rice must be next i hope it's not
another salsa pocket
you
built this thing
like a pack
of life savers
and don't even think i'm about
to open this up and re-engineer
your nonsense 90 degrees i already put a
hole in it with my mouth yeah
that's how i discovered you suck
at looking at things i am not going to
do tortilla origami to get this
back together only to end up with a
burrito that's been shot in the gut and
is bleeding your ineptitude
what's that
i should ask you to
mix it up first next time
is this jamba juice
i don't want to drink my burrito
through a bendy straw and i don't want a
pile of burrito soup in a flour can i just want a burrito in conclusion you're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burrito abomination and i hope your babies look like monkeys update for everyone who said just eat it with a fork a fork i didn't order the cobarito salad if anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork they would be wearing a brand new burrito hat from my fall collection 10 seconds later that's like buying a car and having them hand you a wrench with the keys like yeah we know this is going to explode and be spread across eight lanes as soon as you hit the gas but we gave you a wrench so be cool jesus already gave me two burrito forks one at the end of each arm they're called hands a fork my god i haven't cried since i was six but i'm sobbing now people eat burritos with forks god is sorry he made us
What on earth did you just say to me, you uninitiated mortal? I'll have you know I've been practicing the dark arts for years, and I've summoned more demons than most people have even heard of. I am trained in the art of sorcery and I'm the top warlock in the entire coven. You are nothing to me but just another foolish mortal. I will cast spells with the precision of a surgeon, mark my words. You think you can challenge me in the realm of magic? Think again, child. As we speak, I am delving deeper into the forbidden tomes of ancient magic, and soon I'll be wielding powers beyond your wildest nightmares. You're in for a rude awakening, mere mortal. I can curse you anywhere, anytime, and I can summon hellish creatures in over a thousand ways, and that's just with my knowledge of the dark arts. Not only am I extensively trained in the ways of sorcery, but I have access to the entire collection of arcane artifacts and eldritch knowledge, and I will use them to their full extent to unleash unspeakable horrors upon you. If only you could have known what dark fate your little challenge was about to bring upon you, maybe you would have kept your mouth shut. But you didn't, and now you're in for a demonic possession of a lifetime, you pitiful human.
Submitted by:anonymous
Navy Seal Copypasta
What on earth did you just say to me, you uninitiated mortal? I'll have you know I've been practicing the dark arts for years, and I've summoned more demons than most people have even heard of. I am trained in the art of sorcery and I'm the top warlock in the entire coven. You are nothing to me but just another foolish mortal. I will cast spells with the precision of a surgeon, mark my words. You think you can challenge me in the realm of magic? Think again, child. As we speak, I am delving deeper into the forbidden tomes of ancient magic, and soon I'll be wielding powers beyond your wildest nightmares. You're in for a rude awakening, mere mortal. I can curse you anywhere, anytime, and I can summon hellish creatures in over a thousand ways, and that's just with my knowledge of the dark arts. Not only am I extensively trained in the ways of sorcery, but I have access to the entire collection of arcane artifacts and eldritch knowledge, and I will use them to their full extent to unleash unspeakable horrors upon you. If only you could have known what dark fate your little challenge was about to bring upon you, maybe you would have kept your mouth shut. But you didn't, and now you're in for a demonic possession of a lifetime, you pitiful human.